*man up* *you talk like a chick* * men don't do that*

i'm sure all of you heard that someday,and that so f** annoying , i know men talk some way but it just i hate be a copy like * you are a dude you have to say bad words or it's ok you are a dude it's normal..or like you have to be angry all the time ... also its not ok to be emotional or romantic even with ur girl that's wrong girls dont like that ! also you have to like rap or harsh music the other things is for gays (i dont hate gay people i'm just saying what they say) also for clothes you have to wear buggy jeans and ugly shirt 'normal shirts) swag is for gays also stop wearing good or expensive things  u dont have to be that goodlooking u r not a chick !!!

i'm 100% agree that man should be harch and strong and all but i hate to be a copy also it's exauted when you have to think 24/7 how you should  talk before you speak or how u have to act front of girls or when with ur friends its like u have to switch to a new personality everytime isn't it a mind blowing!!!

sounds like you're hanging out with the wrong people. it IS okay to 'break' the gender norms and do something the opposite would. it's okay to feel/express emotion, you do not have to lift/play sports, you can dress well without being gay, but above all remind yourself you can do anything that a woman can; vice versa.

the world needs feminism because we're pressured into feeling not masculine enough by failing to comply with society's standards.

I completely agree with palexander!
I've been told, in exact words, "You're too girly to be a guy. Guys don't act like f**king whiny chicks. Man up and climb!"
I was told that actually because I refused to belay and rock-climb for two reasons. I didn't know when my period was gonna start and going up in heights actually triggers it so rock-climbing was a no-go. Second, I AM scared of climbing up high and was even more scared that I was gonna start atm. I simply turned around, cussed him out, and went about my day.

Point being: People are so quick to judge a person by their gender, race, age, and where they're from that they fail to notice that people are people. We're all different, don't conform to societal norms, and go about our business. So screw what those idiots say and do as you please. Don't try pleasing them because the minute you do, are you really happy?

There are definitely a whole load of unspoken expectations when it comes to gender roles. You don't have to conform of course but there are plenty of people who are happy to enforce it if they think you've transgressed.

Some guys will say stuff like that, but it's more common with teenagers. Find new people to surround yourself with, because the guys you're talking to sound like complete idiots with a very shaky sense of their own masculinity.

I recommend not caring at all, it's very freeing. The further I get into transition, the more relaxed I am about being myself, which is exactly the way it should be. I didn't leave one restrictive gender role just to squeeze into another.

Man up is one of those inappropriate expectations placed on men by society. Implies stiff upper lip and not feeling your feelings. I don't believe as a trans person, I care to take on gender stereotypes.

Men have a lot of physical disorders which are basically a reaction to not handling stress well, and one of them is swallowing feelings.
Jay

Note: video has a few swear words. It was viral on FB awhile ago.
I LOVE this video:

My father, brother and even some of my male friends tried pulling those lines on me before I started passing. "You're now a man, act like it. Suck it up! Men don't use heart emotions in their words! They don't giggle and wear bracelets!"
Stop. Just don't. I would literally stop them mid sentence and ask them to check their male privilege at the door. They don't define my masculinity. They have no right. Stop circle jerking the pot and continuing to oppress the genders.

After me sticking up for my self I never got another line directed at me because it made them stop and think. It made them start to question. Because all their lives they dealt with other men telling them the same thing, and them staying quiet. Never wanting to not fit in they didn't question it. But when I finally took a stand, it made them think.

Those people in your life who tell you that BS to your face? Tell it right back. Ask them how many times they'd been scrutinized for being their gender by old ass farts who pushed their own insecurities on others. Because that's exactly what it is. Someone before them was insecure, pushed it on the next person and used their gender to warp them into believing it was some exclusive man's club right of passage.

Screw that noise. Also absolutely WONDERFUL video Aleon. Loved hearing that.

I agree that you're hanging out with the wrong guys. I recall that you're living in a different country than me, but humans are pretty much the same everywhere, so...I'm sure there are groups of men who aren't like that where you live. That's not to say the toxic masculinity isn't a problem...I hope we can destroy it in our lifetimes. I want to be one of the people who helps to destroy it.

Here's my "man up" story that I shared somewhere else already, so sorry if this is a repeat for anybody. My spouse was talking to his friend because he's having trouble accepting my transition. His friend told him, "If she's REALLY a man, she would man up and sacrifice her transition (and remain female) for the sake of her family, because men are supposed to sacrifice EVERYTHING in this society."

Epic. Facepalm.

Yes, the borderline-MRA punk rebel is going to submit to that which he stands against. Ok. Actually, I found it kind of hilarious that my spouse would even tell me this!

Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on December 16, 2014, 10:26:15 PM
I agree that you're hanging out with the wrong guys. I recall that you're living in a different country than me, but humans are pretty much the same everywhere, so...I'm sure there are groups of men who aren't like that where you live. That's not to say the toxic masculinity isn't a problem...I hope we can destroy it in our lifetimes. I want to be one of the people who helps to destroy it.

Here's my "man up" story that I shared somewhere else already, so sorry if this is a repeat for anybody. My spouse was talking to his friend because he's having trouble accepting my transition. His friend told him, "If she's REALLY a man, she would man up and sacrifice her transition (and remain female) for the sake of her family, because men are supposed to sacrifice EVERYTHING in this society."

Epic. Facepalm.

Yes, the borderline-MRA punk rebel is going to submit to that which he stands against. Ok. Actually, I found it kind of hilarious that my spouse would even tell me this!

OMG that is such a stupid thing to say, some people 

Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on December 16, 2014, 10:26:15 PM
"If she's REALLY a man, she would man up and sacrifice her transition (and remain female) for the sake of her family, because men are supposed to sacrifice EVERYTHING in this society."

I love it!  "If you were *really* a man, you'd stay a woman!" That guy has worse problems than transphobia.  Somebody whose ideas about gender are that traditional is never going to be OK with trans folks. 

I'm lucky.  I've got a great group of friends, who usually say "put on your big girl panties" instead of "man up," and are as likely to say "Bro's got ovaries" as "Girl's got balls."  It's all about subverting the paradigm. 

Quote from: Hex on December 16, 2014, 02:42:47 PM
Those people in your life who tell you that BS to your face? Tell it right back. Ask them how many times they'd been scrutinized for being their gender by old ass farts who pushed their own insecurities on others. Because that's exactly what it is. Someone before them was insecure, pushed it on the next person and used their gender to warp them into believing it was some exclusive man's club right of passage.

Right on, Brother.

And if any of you get a chance, watch Leslie Jordan's My Life on the Pink Carpet.  Toward the end he talks about being in AA or NA, and how he was scared to tell all the big, strong, muscley, macho men that he was gay.  But when they found out, their response was neutral.  They taught him that he has to define for himself what it means to be a man.  He has to make his own rules, and he can change them as he evolves as a person.  And that's one reason why I love that man.