Alright I am not good at articulating myself so Here I go:
1: Who am I
2: My Past
3: My fears
4: What I am doing now
5: My plan
6: My Support network
7: My Money situation
8: Random comments and questions
1. Who am I:
Hi, I am a 26 Mtf. You can call me Amanda. I Live in Eau Claire, Wi. I am 5'10 bout 210 lbs. I have Identified as Female since about the age of 13.
2. My Past:
Having always Identified as female, actions and feelings have reflected that. I always have been drawn to things that empowered my female side throughout life through roles, actions, etc. Some of my earliest memories have to do with acquiring clothes and female items to use, I even went out in public a couple of times which I enjoyed. I even did shave. I Did come out to my best friend at the time and we made plans for when I became an adult, however I did not follow through due to the intimation of the process, more so the cost. I did tell my grandmother(who I lived with at the time), however she dismissed it. After becoming an adult and getting money I started seeking out options that I could afford without going through the system due cost and support. I tried a couple of things, however they would not work of course and I never could follow through because of inpatients. However I did find a solution through Herbs*, and bounced off and on of them again due to being inpatient. I even told another friend, my mother, and my brother(at different times), however in order to start the process I need to find a therapist however had no insurance to do so. Because of cost, Religious reasons, and the fact that I wanted a family, I put it on the back burner Never forgetting. I told every woman that I have been with that I felt like I should be a woman and would in a heartbeat if I could 100%
3. My Fears:
My fears/concern about coming out have been:
Cost-How much money it would take
How to Pay-I can barely keep a job and insurance till recently have been an issue
Support-Who is/was going to help/teach me on things
Social-Will other know? Will I be Judged? Will I be accepted
Religous-My faith is important to me, will my soul be good?
Perception of those I hold close to me-Will my relationship change with those?
Standing in my community-I am a leader of my league and decent player, will I be able to keep on?
My body Hair
Starting a family-I wanted family and romance
4. What I am doing now:
I feel like now is the time where things are lining up. Right now I am on the Phoenix Project Herbs plan. I am also seeing a therapist that I have have told. I am also thinking about about expression as soon as I become more feminine(clothes,style,name,plan,etc) and am talking to my support about it.
5. My Plan:
My plan is to stay on the Herb plan I am now untill I get on hormones. I am hoping to have a gender therapist by my B-Day(March 1) and be on hormones by the end of 2015. I am also planning to be on SSI(for other reasons) soon to help with cost. Coming out and stating my intent to those close to me, probably shortly after starting hormones. Surgeys I plan on thinking more about it down the line. Having a family though everything I have been through is something that at this time, I am not planning. Though if I do have a child by then so be it.
6. My Support Network:
My support Network/People I have told in the past are as following:
My Teen Friend-No longer in the picture
Leo-told before but was supportive and will be as soon as I retell him
My mother-Accepted it and plan to retell as soon as I get farther though
My brother-Accepted it
My therapist-Someone to talk to and do light monitoring till I get a gender therapist.
My 2 Fwb(1 an ex): Are intrigued and excited for me, both plan on helping me with feminine issues and help with transitioning.
(I have a small social network)
7. My Money Situation:
Right now I am working part time as a vendor which gives me a lot of freedom however the weekly take home is not much. My rent is not bad, food is good, and am on Medicade via Compare. I have money put out for 3 months worth of Herbs and plenty of resources to sell for money if need via ebay
8. Random Comments and questions:
I have been working on my name. So far I like Amanda Marie. My last name is Reynolds. However I would like to keep my initials in order to respect my parents (ABR). However my grandmother name is Mary so I would be honoring her by taking that middle name.
I have always saw my face and so of my expression as feminine and they always feel right when I accepted it and move forward.
I am looking forward to trying different styles and make up. I am more conservative dressed, and enjoy dress. Make-up would have to be a plus.
My hair when I last grew it out can be thick and curvy.
What are some places where you can go and try on clothes that are not Supervised And preferably that you can go in with someone?
What are some places that are TG friendly?
Any tips or things I need to know?
