If you lie that much eventually you will get caught.

Yeah girls talk... a lot.. about everything...

If someone asks "So you having your period now" or something just say no..

If they ask "Do you experience this or that or this"  Say no..

You don't have to really elaborate but if you start spinning lies, you'll get caught.  You can't really tell when its eminent it just... starts.. I guess you do feel a little weird a few days ahead of time but it's relatively impossible to tell exactly when it'll start..  So saying things like "it's gonna start soon"  to me, would sound a little odd.

If you REALLY really really are determined to elaborate -- say something like "It's due next week"

and PLEASE please please don't refer to it as "Aunt Flo"

Eventually the topic fades into something else anyhow, cause noone REALLY likes talking about their periods

I will have to agree with all the liars here  .  I mean, what can you do?  Yeah, you could always say you had a hysterectomy but how many women have hysterectomies?  ...and then you have to think about the reason(s) why you "had it done".....what are you going to say then?  Cysts? Endometriosis? Cytotec poisoning? 

I just lie too.  We talk about tampax with wings and how they feel very uncomfortable.  Having had some discharge/spotting myself due to SRS, I have some experience, so I just "inflate" the truth a little bit...LOL 

tink

Quote from: Tink on October 15, 2007, 08:57:42 PM
I will have to agree with all the liars here  .  I mean, what can you do?  Yeah, you could always say you had a hysterectomy but how many women have hysterectomies?  ...and then you have to think about the reason(s) why you "had it done".....what are you going to say then?  Cysts? Endometriosis? Cytotec poisoning? 

This is what I meant Tink --  if you get into the fact you don't get a period, folks will wonder, and ask.  And not necessarily to be nosy, but people care..  They'll wonder if you're sick etc.

Quote from: Tink on October 15, 2007, 08:57:42 PM
I just lie too.  We talk about tampax with wings and how they feel very uncomfortable.  Having had some discharge/spotting myself due to SRS, I have some experience, so I just "inflate" the truth a little bit...LOL 

If you want to talk about Tampax, don't mention wings.   Tampax are tampons (http://www.tampax.com), and wings aren't an option.  I think you mean Kotex (http://www.kotex.com)

If you want to just say you have it now or something -- I doubt anyone is gonna dive into your pants and check

  

tink, you can always tell them "oh i meant to say always maxi pads since 'tampax' and 'always' are made by the same company P&G"  but you know what? in the real world women don't give a damn if you're wearing pads with wings, with feet or with arms.  it's only here [at susan's] that ppl are obsessed with 'details'.    >sigh<

Quote from: Katia on October 16, 2007, 02:34:50 AM
 

tink, you can always tell them "oh i meant to say always maxi pads since 'tampax' and 'always' are made by the same company P&G"  but you know what? in the real world women don't give a damn if you're wearing pads with wings, with feet or with arms.  it's only here [at susan's] that ppl are obsessed with 'details'.    >sigh<

This is why I suggest not having to cover up too much.

Details can bite you in the butt. 

Quote from: Katia on October 16, 2007, 02:34:50 AM
 

tink, you can always tell them "oh i meant to say always maxi pads since 'tampax' and 'always' are made by the same company P&G"  but you know what? in the real world women don't give a damn if you're wearing pads with wings, with feet or with arms.  it's only here [at susan's] that ppl are obsessed with 'details'.    >sigh<

Have a Happy Period

Quote from: Tink on October 15, 2007, 08:57:42 PM
I just lie too.  We talk about tampax with wings and how they feel very uncomfortable.  Having had some discharge/spotting myself due to SRS, I have some experience, so I just "inflate" the truth a little bit...LOL 

Lie?  No.  I can truthfully say that I'm glad I'm old enough not to worry about that.  Other women can deal with it now.  I can get by with just liners now, thank you.  And I do.  Excuse me while I go put one in....

Quote from: Katia on October 16, 2007, 02:34:50 AM
 

tink, you can always tell them "oh i meant to say always maxi pads since 'tampax' and 'always' are made by the same company P&G"  but you know what? in the real world women don't give a damn if you're wearing pads with wings, with feet or with arms.  it's only here [at susan's] that ppl are obsessed with 'details'.    >sigh<

I know what you mean  .  Hey but I'm pretty sure I said "tampax with wings" and no one seemed to raise their eyebrows, show me the "voodoo" eye or give me a URL for Tampax Co., LOL  .  It's true what you say though, nobody cares about what you are wearing down there; brand names are not mentioned at all.  Everything that is said is: "I have to change my saddle"...and then you know what people are talking about.... *giggles* 

"Pads with feet?"  ROFL, You are funny, Katia... 

tink

Thanks for all the responses, I personally would use a semi truth as I just hate lying. What I said at the time when asked if I was having my period was "It shouldn't be". It was such a shock to be asked that as I had never planed that scenario out, I'm glad it happened though, now I know how to handle it better next time. I loved reading all the responses, experiences and opinions...Thanks for everyones support

I have enough going on in my head all the time without having to remember all my little lies to keep them straight. I've found it is true that women discuss EVERYTHING (great way to learn though) but at the same time it's very easy to answer with a simple truth. Am I having my period..no...have I been pregnant...no....at least I've had a boyfriend.

Quote from: Ember L on October 14, 2007, 06:16:46 PM
Recently I have bumped into conversations with other girls where periods came up. I'm not shure how to respond? I was PMSing one day and had another girl ask if I was having my period? I was so taken of guard as I am always thinking I don't pass. I hate lying but don't want to give myself away, I thought about saying I have a utiris problem and can't have kids and therefore periods too, but that would be lying, it just doesn't seem right to me. I'm stuck on this one and don't know what to do but be quiet, and I can't help but think that too will give myself away. Any one have any advice on this?

How is that lying?  I don't understand.

I would consider not having a uteris to be a "uteris problem".

You're physically disabled, dear.  Do a little research on disabilities that prevent women from having periods and kids.  Pick one.  It's just like naming your symptoms.  How can you be lying if you actually have the symptoms of the affliction?  You can't have periods or kids.

Come on, now.  There's lying, and then there's telling the truth with lies.

I'm such an artist.   

~ BB

Quote from: Blair on October 25, 2007, 02:49:39 PM

Quote from: Ember L on October 14, 2007, 06:16:46 PM
Recently I have bumped into conversations with other girls where periods came up. I'm not shure how to respond? I was PMSing one day and had another girl ask if I was having my period? I was so taken of guard as I am always thinking I don't pass. I hate lying but don't want to give myself away, I thought about saying I have a utiris problem and can't have kids and therefore periods too, but that would be lying, it just doesn't seem right to me. I'm stuck on this one and don't know what to do but be quiet, and I can't help but think that too will give myself away. Any one have any advice on this?

How is that lying?  I don't understand.

I would consider not having a uteris to be a "uteris problem".

You're physically disabled, dear.  Do a little research on disabilities that prevent women from having periods and kids.  Pick one.  It's just like naming your symptoms.  How can you be lying if you actually have the symptoms of the affliction?  You can't have periods or kids.

Come on, now.  There's lying, and then there's telling the truth with lies.

I'm such an artist.   

~ BB

Lies?  Having a congenital birth defect that left you without a uterus is the truth.

That's...  what I said.  I think.  Did I say something wrong?  You intimidate me.  That cat looks scary.  I am doubting myself now.  Stop staring!

Someone help!

~ BB

Quote from: Tink on October 16, 2007, 06:31:54 PM

Quote from: Katia on October 16, 2007, 02:34:50 AM
 

tink, you can always tell them "oh i meant to say always maxi pads since 'tampax' and 'always' are made by the same company P&G"  but you know what? in the real world women don't give a damn if you're wearing pads with wings, with feet or with arms.  it's only here [at susan's] that ppl are obsessed with 'details'.    >sigh<

I know what you mean  .  Hey but I'm pretty sure I said "tampax with wings" and no one seemed to raise their eyebrows, show me the "voodoo" eye or give me a URL for Tampax Co., LOL  .  It's true what you say though, nobody cares about what you are wearing down there; brand names are not mentioned at all.  Everything that is said is: "I have to change my saddle"...and then you know what people are talking about.... *giggles* 

"Pads with feet?"  ROFL, You are funny, Katia... 

tink

Arg, I hate tampax with wings, they alway keep flying away on me. I had to get a butterfly net just for that!


--natalie 

Quote from: Blair on October 25, 2007, 04:54:24 PM
That's...  what I said.  I think.  Did I say something wrong?  You intimidate me.  That cat looks scary.  I am doubting myself now.  Stop staring!

Someone help!

~ BB

What?  You're intimidated by Night, my familiar?  Pshaw!  He wouldn't hurt a fly.  Well, actually he loves to catch flies, but you're not a fly.

I don't ''really lie'' as such, Im unable to bear children, I'v been asked heaps of times, but I just take a tissue from my purse and dab my eyes when they fill up, ''I don't want to talk about it'' they make up their own minds, yes we talk about pads and liners and most don't really care what we wear inside our panties, women are generally more understanding than men, another good reason why women are more mature than most men, and I love that reply ''at my age'' sadly I'II be using that reply more often in the future.

I am always astounded that TSes become so very particular about "lying" after we begin to live as who we are. So, exactly how do you view the entire life you lived prior to transition? As The Truth? *smile*

Come on girls. Most of us are gonna swallow 16-60 years and then get squeamish about a tampon or a pad?

Either rearrange your idea of the truth or fugidaboudit!!

I have children and yes, I have talked about how painful their births were. They were, I was there for the deliveries and nearly died because it wasn't me birthing them!! THAT WAS painful.

Now where was the lie?

Yeah it just freaked me out totally the 1st time I was asked if I was on-a short curt reply of "yes I am" was enough to end the converation!-can be tricky though as we do talk about everything!-and I mean everything

Hmmm.....I transitioned on the job, so EVERYONE knows I'm ts, but yeah, even so, girls..women talk about everything!  For me, the potential lies come from talking to my female customers.  I get asked about my kids, and yes, I have 2 kids, and 3 grandchildren.  And so comes the questions about my husband.......hmmm.  How embarassing!  Well, I tell them the truth, mostly.  I tell them I don't have a husband, I have a partner.  Then I talk about 'the' grandchildren, and let them draw the conclusion that I'm lesbian.  A convoluted way to the truth!
I still get asked by the women I work with and know I'm ts if I have, umm....you know, periods?  I tell them I have a monthly emotional cycle (truth).  Next time one asks, maybe I should say I don't have periods, but apostrophes.




period

Bev

Wow. I guess I'm not as well socialized as I thought. The only time I've discussed anything to do with that 'time of the month' with girls was in jail, when expressing my disgust at the pads stuck all over the toilet seats (to prevent the prissier girls from coming in contact with the cold filthy steel seat.)

My advice is just to say this: "I can't have periods'" and look like it's a sore subject. If they ask why, say you are unable to have children.
If they delve deeper than that, they're being rude and you're not obligated to talk about it. It is a very sensitive subject for women who are barren and most recognize that.

Quote from: Kate on October 14, 2007, 06:44:02 PM

Quote from: Ember L on October 14, 2007, 06:16:46 PM
I was PMSing one day and had another girl ask if I was having my period?

Not to sound naive (I am!), but... is this something girl's routinely ask one another?

I mean OK, I've had girls talk to be *about* their periods in a generic sense, even BEFORE transitioning, but to just flat out ask if someone is HAVING their period seems kinda personal and rude?

~Kate~

I am post-menopausal but my best girlfriend accuses me of PMSing all the time. Girls talk about their periods all the time, it is not considered personal at all.

As far as what to say, I wouldn't obsess about because I suspect that girls figure it out eventually as I do anytime I am around someone who thinks she stealth. Of course, I base my experience in living in San Francisco, Ground Zero for trans awareness.

As I am out in some circles and out in others, I can tell you, at least here, that women treat you the same regardless except that I have had girlfriends tell me that they don't appreciate being lied to in the case of TSs making up stories about themselves.

Again, even if one is physically flawless, has a perfect voice and movement (about .1% of the trans population) most women are going to figure it out eventually. (A lot of people have the ability to read the truthfulness of other people, especially women.)

It is called intuition.

OTOH it is great living stealth because one doesn't feel marginalized as  trans regardless of what the perception is but if I get really close to someone to the point that we confide in each other, I find it very difficult to lie to them.

Now men are a different story. They totally treat you different if they know. Thankfully, few men have women's intuition.