Hi Everyone,
I have been reading these forums for about a year. This is my first post. I want to say thank you to everyone who has shared their thoughts and experiences. This forum has been a great help in coming to terms with myself and my desire to explore my feminine side. I have been cross dressing for many years and have just got up the nerve to tell my wife of 6 years about my desire to dress up when I'm by myself. Just before we got married, I purged all my stuff so that she wouldn't discover it and I thought that I would no longer have the need or desire to cross dress. Well, after a year or so I starting a new collection of lingerie. At first I would buy her things I liked and then it was easy to access them, upon occasion I was able to receive packages discreetly and start my own collection.
I have been thinking about telling my wife for a year before I took the huge risk of opening up. It was very uncomfortable for me to talk about, and unfortunately she didn't understand and she expressed concerned about what this could lead to and that the behavior was very odd to her. I reassured her that I was not gay and that I loved her very much, and I was very happy and that I had no plans to become a woman and that this was something I enjoyed doing by myself. I asked her for her understanding. She asked me if I did this before we got married which I had to admit to. I told her that I started when I was a teenager. She asked me why I was telling her, I said that I was doing research about it and decided that it was better to tell her instead of this being discovered sometime in the future or her finding a piece of lingerie around the house. She told me she really wished she didn't know and it became more difficult to talk about but I continued to reassure her and repeat the same explanations over and over, until the conversation ended. I was well prepared to answer her questions, thanks to reading the boards, but it was still one of the most difficult conversations I ever had with my wife.
It's been a few days since having the conversation with my wife. We haven't talked about it since but I asked her to do some research for herself, and if she wanted I would provide her with some and be happy to answer any additional questions she may have, as long as she is trying to understand my desire to explore my feminine side.
At this point I do not plan to bring it up again, but I hope in time she will get over the initial shock and we will be able to talk about it more. Otherwise life has gone on as usual, we do lots of things together, and it seems like it may have brought us closer in a way. I must say that since I told her I feel so much better about myself.
I guess time will tell to what degree my wife will be able to accept my desire to explore my feminine side. I am hopeful that she will become accepting of my desires and be willing to have fun with it eventually.
In turn, I hope what I have to share here is helpful to those who are sincere about being honest with themselves and the people who mean the most in this world.
Let all try to create an atmosphere of greater honesty in all our relationships!
