Hello, lovely people

Not looking for you guys to make a decision for me or anything. It's just a first-time-kinda thing ... and I feel like I need to verbalise it.

Guys have begun asking me out in the past couple of months. I've been flattered each time, and don't mind giving my number out.

I'm happy to talk but have always turned the offers down, saying 'I'm not quite ready', which I haven't been.

---

Anyhoo an odd fellow approached me today. He had resemblances to Mr Bean ... but I do have a thing for unusual looking guys :~]

He asks his bluff question ('where is the shop?' or something)

I happily oblige.

Then he can't help himself and starts giggling. It's a laugh which is nervous but cheeky all at once.

He asks 'are you a ->-bleeped-<-?'

I say 'yeah!' and we both laugh together.

So he asks for my number. Asks me what I'm up to.

I gave him my number and say we can talk tonight.

He was so sweet and awkward ... 'are you sure?' he says.

Then he sweetly *asks* me if he can give me a hug.

I say 'aww ok'. He gives me a gentle, barely-there hug and a lil kiss on the cheek.

And then I say bye.

---

I haven't been with a guy yet, even for a date. I really want to, its something I've denied myself since childhood. But I've also had this cemented idea that I want my 'first time' to be with someone I know fairly well.

I don't know what to do now. The fellow I met today was very sweet. Quirky and awkward and ... kinda attractive to me ...

It makes me wonder what I'm waiting for ...

If you decide to go out with this guy, make sure you go somewhere public (maybe lunch? or a coffee) let your friends have your contact numbers.

The first guy I went out with a guy from a dating site he bought coffee, started talking and within 10 minutes was asking when he could have sex.

He got the coffee back over his lap.

Just be careful and let us know how you are.

lol, Cindy - sounds like he ended up on the receiving end.

Yeah totally. If Mr Bean doesn't turn out to be a nutcase on the phone tonight, maybe I'll suggest coffee.

Just speaking personally, I'd never my number out to any man who came up to me in the street, not even if they looked like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. And if they had called me a t*****y I probably would've punched them in the nose for added value. That said, I agree with Cindy - if you do meet up with him do it in the day time in a public place. Do not let him pick you up (from home or work) or drop you off/take you home.

Hell no I don't want Christmas cards from him.

Yeah I dunno. Maybe I should wait til marriage after all .

Do you consider yourself  a ->-bleeped-<-?


I dont. Thats no different than a crossdresser.


Mr Bean....


You look like a YOUNG Bette Davis. You can be pickier.

If hes not attractive to you... then dont date him unless you have alternative reasons....dont settle for less you are beautiful.

Oh goodness, you're very kind wild flower :~o

He didn't call anyway. Shows you just can't read em.

I apologize for my language - I don't really care what people call me, though I definitely identify as trans/on the way there, and nothing 'less'.

I see though that ... you know ... we all have a different threshold/perception of language and how we should behave.

Thank you all for looking out for me x

I would be unnerved by the whole "tr***y" thing and just leave.

I'm a woman, period. End of story.

Um, yeah and I really don't think it has anything to do with CDers... Using the "T" word is like using the "N" word.

I'm not offended by it, but totally get why others are.

I'll try to paraphrase my local Aussie dialogues in the future ;~o

Quote from: SarahBoo on January 01, 2015, 06:35:49 AM
He didn't call anyway. Shows you just can't read em.

Nope, it is just most of them will freeze as soon as they need to take some sort of action (as long as it stops being just a fantasy to them).

Be safe!

Hi Sarah,

First of all asking me if I am ->-bleeped-<- is already a huge turn off. I say this is the time for you to keep your guard up.
Good luck and I hope you find a better match for you, babe.

April

I'm in the same group, if some one is into me mainly because I'm transgender, I just don't think I can be that into them. Also calling me "->-bleeped-<-" is a good way to probably get a beverage thrown at you or a slap in the face.

Sarah, you are a beautiful woman inside and out. Find a SO that you  are attracted to and treats you right.

Yeah, asking if I'm a ->-bleeped-<- would have been the end of that conversation for me as well. Why? ->-bleeped-<- tends to be used two ways outside of gay male drag culture. The first is as an insult and the second is as a designation for a transgender sex worker. Someone asking if I'm a "->-bleeped-<-" would be perceived as me being asked if I'm a whore, and no, I'm definitely not that.

Note: I recognize there are people who are sex workers. It must take a very brave and self confident mindset to do that voluntarily when not needed or a very desperate mindset when no other alternative is available. Neither of those describe me right now and I'm not eager to be considered such as well.

You're all very, very kind.

What an odd place Australia is. Really quite progressive, yet so rough at times.

Thanks for putting up with the puberty-part-II-me :~o

Quote from: SarahBoo on January 01, 2015, 01:56:07 AM

He asks 'are you a ->-bleeped-<-?'

I say 'yeah!' and we both laugh together.

I love this, thats so cool. Id been wondering how to react to when people begin popping this one at me, and while i completely understand how 'accepting' what has been a derogatory and pejorative term, often associated with great pain, an can and will continue be an issue for people, i think thats how id like to play it. just laugh! YES hahaha! #takingthewordback!

The ->-bleeped-<- question would have been the end of that conversation for me. It suggests how he saw you and what he was really interested in.

I have been approached on the street before by a random guy that turned on the charming BS and then wanted my phone number. He didn't get it.

Who you date is up to you, but please be aware that the world is full of creepy guys that see us a some kind of a fetish, or guys that want to harm us. Take the same precautions that any other female would do - meet in public places until you get to know the guy, don't get into a car with him, don't give him your phone number (or simply buy a disposable phone for this purpose and give that number out), let friends know where you'll be and maybe have them call you during your date to check if everything is ok, etc.

The dating world is simply not the same safe place for a woman as it is for a man, and we must take precautions to ensure our safety.

Quote from: alexbb on January 05, 2015, 08:00:18 AM
Id been wondering how to react to when people begin popping this one at me ... I think thats how id like to play it. just laugh! YES hahaha! #takingthewordback!

Totally Alex, glad someone sees it my way :~) I was kinda feeling like the odd one out!

This has happened a couple more times since. I own my interactions, though. Never one to take offense, we're all different, and to be fair for many people I'm their first close encounter with a TS - how can they possibly know the right or wrong things to say?

So I'm going to be open, relaxed and accepting of others, just as I hope they will be toward me, too.

I am no victim. Besides, it's really me that boys should be running from. Someone once said they would call the police on me (all I did was send him 17 red roses) ... :~o