surprised to see this thread back up!

thank you all so much for the kind replies, Ive read through them all and I appreciate the insight. with everything thats been happening recently, my parents finding out as Rotika mentioned, the obsession is still very much there. however Im not worried about it so much anymore, as Im sure it will die down once all the dust settles. as Sabrina said, I think the current obsession is just a result of the fear i feel right now. Im in a weird spot with it all and looking forward to therapy soon.

Ive actually found an upside to all this obsessing. since these transgender issues are all I can think about at the moment, I figured I might as well channel it into something useful. ive begun writing a novel about a character who is a trans girl
like many of my projects this may not ever become something real, but its a fun way to get back into my old hobbies while turning these thoughts into something positive!

thanks again everyone  ❤️