Hello!
My name is Calvin , and I'm a young transgender guy aged 15 going onto 16 this year. My gender isn't exactly static and I usually variate through male to masc. neutral. I rarely experience strong dysphoria, but on occasion it is really bad (usually from excessive misgendering ) I tend to disassociate. Oh yeah I'm part Asian and part Caucasian.
I have a tonne of emotional baggage and family issues to navigate in my daily life as I still live in my family home. My father has bipolar disorder and my mum has yet to overcome her grief from both my father, her anxiety and depression, and over her ex husband which she blames his death on herself.
I grew up in a very damaged household and I am still living there. I am one of the few example of when the governmental childcare system did stuff up quite a bit.
I suppose I should say a bit more than the generic hello, so be ready for some more severe things?
I had severe depression a few years ago, and have previously came close to suicide (only to chicken out because I was afraid of dying, I became a bit obsessed with death around this time.), and eventually conquered a few demons. My depression now is mild and doesn't interfere too much in my daily life. I got through a lot of things on my own through ->-bleeped-<-ty poetry and determination. Depression for me is a very strong thing, and it was very hard to begin to conquer. Luckily when my depression was at it's worst I had no idea I was a trans guy, because probably I would of killed myself.
I had and still have anxiety. I cannot answer phone calls without shaky hands, and talking to strangers on them makes me cry (I am a mental wreck of a human but I am working on fixing it). My anxiety makes social interaction with large groups awkward and difficult however I am fine with public speaking and acting (I have been doing acting classes since I was about 7?). Despite this, because my friend group is a bunch of anxious individuals themselves, usually I'll end up doing anxiety inducing things for them, so their anxiety goes down (if anything, I am insanely loyal).
And back onto the household thing. I have been emotionally abused for most of my life, and considering, I turned out alright. I would talk more about it but it's difficult to sum up.
I'm out to my friends, and family (though I kinda regret the second part.) and I don't intend to tell everyone else.
I can pass sometimes. I'm also kinda smart I suppose? I got dux last year, and I'm really good at English and Maths. Umm that's about it I think?
Anyway... Nice to meet you all!!!
