StephanieC, Devlyn, and Paige have the situation down accurately. I can't go into details until this is all over.
I have sent Cathy a reminder of the no more games post.
Quote from: Susan on November 30, 2014, 09:34:16 PM
If you don't like this web site, these forums, it's owner and operator, and/or the policies it operates under just leave.
If you come here and even suggest that you are not happy being here I will remove you. If you even think about violating Rule 2, I will remove you. If you attempt to troll me or anyone else I will remove you. I don't care if I end up having to ban all 15,000 people who are currently a member on these forums. I am done being nice about it.
Don't go away mad, just go away.
I will state that this was done to get leverage over me. What am I losing a 19 year secure job with lousy hours, no benefits, no healthcare, no raises or cost of living increases in 15 years, and which paid like ->-bleeped-<- that I kept because part of the job was I got help with the hosting for Susan's. Now the person who made that deal my boss when I first started working with him and later business partner is using Susan's to take my part ownership of his company from me.
He denies that we ever had the agreement on hosting Susan's, and as a negotiating tactic he is denying that I ever owned Susan's domain and web site, but I can prove that my personal name was listed as the registrant on the domain for 19 years until the 5th of Jan this year. He's threatened to send me a bill for half his bandwidth costs for 19 years. Susan's never used half of his bandwidth. He also wants some of the hardware that belongs to me that some of his company has benefited from.
He is denying that I ever owned another business that I personally founded and later contributed as part of a partnership agreement to get part ownership of his company. His claim is now it was never mine to begin with. If I go away quietly and let him keep that business without a fight I can get Susan's back which is where we are at right now. Yes, I can get an attorney, go to court and risk the possibility that a judge will not agree with me since he paid many of the bills out of his account even though I paid him in full by working for him significantly under the prevailing wages for the job I was doing not to mention someone with 19 years of experience; or even force us to split it and Susan's.
I learned some hard lessons from this and the first one is get everything on paper. It's a lesson I won't need to learn a second time. In my defense this is a person I have known and trusted since 1995 when I founded Susan's. He was the second person I came out of the closet to. I trusted him implicitly and stupidly did not get things in writing. I thought he was the type of person who would never screw over a friend. I also allowed him to pay bills which in retrospect I should have insisted on paying my self. Domain registrations, hosting fees etc. It was standard in the company for him to handle the registrations for our customers on the companies Godaddy account, which is how he was able to change the ownership on the domain.
Let me explain something; think of where prices for anything was 15 years ago and where they are now. Could you live with what you were paid then? Not likely.
I had medical insurance, lost it. Didn't get any of the money that provided that benefit back in order to get coverage myself. I had to drop my HRT as I couldn't afford it, or the blood work and doctors visits. I think the choice at the time was eating and have a car in a city where a car is absolutely required or hormones. (->-bleeped-<-ty public transportation, very spread out, etc.) I made the choice to live. Since then my transition has been frozen sacrificed to ensure that I could continue to offer this web site. Something I will continue to do so some how even if I get no help from the members.
These donations are going to cover the expenses. It's not some game it's not some scam.
They will cover the rent where the servers are, they will cover the electricity, phone bill, water, and help me continue to eat until I can at least find a way to make up the income from my previous job.
I appreciate everyone who has stepped up so far! I know there are some members who are unable to donate anything, believe me I can feel your pain and you bear no cause for shame. However, there are also members who could write a check or make a donation to cover all or part of a year's expenses single handedly without even feeling it, and I would hope some of them would consider stepping up.
This is your chance to help this site to continue to save member lives. Millions of people visit this web site every year; over 7 million since 2006, and that doesn't include any of the visitors from 1996 to 2006. During the years I have ran the site I would estimate that 75-100 people have sent me letters telling me how this site being here was the thing that stopped them from killing themselves. Many of their stories are heart rending. This site has helped many others who have not said anything.
This is what your donations accomplish. How it helps me or not is strictly secondary.
I know it's saved my life at least twice; Once when a friend told me they were going to kill themselves and there was nothing I could do about it, and when all this got dumped on me a few days after the new years, I will admit I was having some dark thoughts. The donations sent by the members who have stepped up so far have helped to banish them.
If we could get it to the point where it fully covers the expenses I could give 24x7 to improving the site. I have a lot of really cool features and things that I would like to do for you the members and it simply takes money and time. the New design, amazing new content, services, etc.
I figured that $50,000 would fund the operation of this site for a year.
That's not me getting $50,000 to spend however I like. I won't be taking vacations on it. It goes cover the site expenses and would cover some of my expenses. Not one dime of profit. I am not living high off the hog here I am sitting in a very tiny house I rent. The equipment for Susan's occupies two rooms including half of my kitchen, so it gets most of the space. My desk is in my living room which has just enough room for a loveseat, not even a full couch. I can walk from one end of the house to the other in under 15 steps
The site has been bringing in an average of $800, mixed evenly between donations and subscriptions. I can budget the subscriptions.
So that's what's up and should clear up the FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) that Cathy has been trying to generate.
