Hello.  I'm new and the main reason I've joined is because for quite sometime my husband has talked about transitioning.  I knew going into our marriage about his desires and we laugh about how we met shortly after I had resigned myself to the fact I would never be compatible with men.  The thing is that he end back and force about how he falls into the spectrum of things.  Not sure if he is a cross dresser or transgendered. He wants to present himself as female openly eventually (he still identifies with male pronouns). He doesn't want to get his male bits removed but has talked hormones and breasts.  Other times he's not sure and feels silly.

I try to be as supportive of him and imagine it's a confusing process.  Did other partners witness this?

Jett, I'm here not as a partner, but I wanted to say welcome It's wonderful that your are so supportive of your spouse!

As a trans person I can say it can be very difficult and puzzling to figure out if, when, and how to transition. Our decisions have a major impact on our life and that of our partners, friends, family.

I hope you find support and useful info here!

My wife knew from day 1 about my gender issues. At that time, some 30 years I settled for CD, having twice experimented with transitioning.

Transitioning isn't an all or nothing process. Many find it necessary, but it is not always the case. If cross-dressing works, why not just do that? If going out and being a woman part time works, do it. There is no right way to be transgender. It is a spectrum, a very broad one at that. I believe I speak for everyone when I say we all wish we weren't trans and had to do something about it. The last thing any sane person wants to do is transition full time if they had a choice.

Many TGs think they'd like having breasts. But the reality is often far different. Often times after a short while on anti-androgens and estrogen things start going dead down south  . This when we separate the men from the girls.

In my case, I never hated the dangly bits. Just hated being me and in my skin in general. Better luck next lifetime, right? In fact dangly bits and I have had some great times together. I just would rather not have them. I've been on/off low dose HRT over the decades for only one reason, my emotional health. I again started on HRT a few years ago and soon escalated to feminizing doses. I also very seriously started working on myself as part of taking the trans beast on for real this time. For the first time in my life I am happy being me. Happy living in my own skin. I still work and present as a male. I am often as confused as my wife is. But this is working for me today.

Hi Jett108. I just posted my first post not minutes ago, and saw this. I feel in the same boat you are. I just wanted to let you know that if you want someone to talk to while going through this, let me know. My fiance is pretty sure what he wants to do, but in a similar place, i.e. wants to keep his male anatomy. Although we have discussed that in so doing this could change our sex life because anti-androgens and estrogens make that part often less functional or not functional at all.

It's all very scary for me right now, too. I wish I had more to offer you, but know that you aren't alone!

JQ

Welcome!

Those early days can be a confusing and frustrating time. My wife did do something similar, though I noticed a pattern after a while - she waffled, but she always came down on the side of "yes" when it came to transitioning choices. Though of course not everyone makes the *same* choices, or wants the same things; it's possible your husband will stop short of public/social transition, though it sounds like that is what he wants.

Regardless, you sound like you're handling it well and aren't shocked and the two of you are communicating honestly, which is a good start.

I am basically having the same trouble with me and my wife. She hasn't started taking anything but she does dress around the house . And what ive learned from her and the posts that i read is its all about communication, understanding,  and trust. Im new to this also but i have learned a few lessons . . . Im sorry i cannot truly answer your questions yet but i will as soon as possible.
If you or anyone else ever need someone to talk to whos going threw the same problem just know you can talk to me and im here for you