I've gone back into some sort of denial. It's not a complete denial like before but I seem to have compromised with myself that if things don't work out with this girl then I'll tell my parents and start transitioning. If they do work out, then we will see down the road. I don't know how it will work though because I'm extremely dysphoric all the time and I don't know how to cope with it. I know people will say I should just accept it but I'm so terrified.

I wish you the best

I stuffed my feelings for many years.

It can be done but at ones own sacrifice of true harmony and happiness

At some point if its true it will win.

That's the day you need all the support in the world.

Hugs, safe passage on your path that works for you.

Yeah. I want to be happy. I'm just terrified of the journey.

Well it is a scary journey, but it is only that; a journey. Both Izzy and I and many others here have walked the path of doubt and denial, but we have reached our dreams, and you can do. We are here to help you on the way.

Hugs Honey

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Sometimes it can seem uber scary to think about the long journey ahead of you, but thinking of just the next step can help disperse that fear. Just do what today needs and eventually you will lok back and go Holy Cheeseballz I've come a long way! (Wherever you happen to go.)

And like Cindy said, we are here to help and walk with you.

Cheers.

Getting a g/f will fix me
Burying myself in my job will fix me
Getting married will fix me
Having kids will fix me

I prefer to look at things in terms of what do I need to do today to manage my dysphoria. Sure I hope the dysphoria will not intensify. Even better is to diminish. Sure I know what I need to do today is subject to change tomorrow. I also have little control over the future.

Thanks everyone.

I'm just so lost and I feel like I'm ready to come out to my parents but then I panic and I can never do it. I don't really have any doubt about my gender, I'm just scared of losing things because I've lost enough in life already.

It means a lot to have a great support system here. Thanks.