As I think more of my transition date at work (April 13) I am feeling more anxious and finding reasons to move the date indefinitely or worse stop my whole transition in general.
Ugh, this is all I ever wanted but then whenever I look in front of my mirror I get horrified as I see a man in a dress looking at me

It's been a tough day for me and I just want to throw in the towel and give up on my transition. My mind is too pre-occupied with fear, transphobia and guilt. I created this thread as I don't have anyone to share this with sigh..

First off stop looking inv the mirror.

Use it to freshen up and do your make up.

If that is you in your profile pic you have no trouble.

We are our worst enemy and critics.

Everyone is there own and just own who you are.

Move forward and just live to live and not to impress.

Hugs

Thanks Mrs. Izzy xo

You are right, I have an addiction for acceptance. Ugh, time to throw some mirrors out.

We all go through it and its something we must just accept and move forward.

Hard yes but just need to step through the door and not look back.

Hugs

Izzy said exactly what I was going to!

Actually I had originally planned to transition in early June last year, but in the end that was too far away and I jumped two months earlier! Although I was eager to get started it didn't mean I wasn't petrified as the big day eventuates!

I'll be honest with you, going full time at work is a huge step. Enormous! If your work place and colleagues are the kind of people who will be accepting and supportive, then that makes it a lot easier. If people respect you, and you seem like such a pleasant lovely person I can't imagine that they don't, then you won't lose that respect.

As I neared my transition I wondered if I'd be able to do it every single day, up until then I had only been in girl mode when it suited me. Turned out, doing it every day was relatively simple and became more straightforward every day.

Ms Grace, thank you for the words of encouragement.
Yes, I am lucky that I am surrounded by co-workers that are completely supportive and would champion the cause of my transition.
I think part of me wants to also impress people which causes undue stress and hardship for me.

I just have to live and stop caring what others think.

Big Hugs,

April

I had a lot of respect from colleagues before I transitioned, and that only grew once I came out to them and transitioned. The support I got from them all was humbling.