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Pictures of 'the old me' question

Started by SandraB, January 18, 2015, 10:43:58 AM

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SandraB

i am torn atm...over the pictures of 'the old me' that i have on facebook...and am starting to feel uncomfortable with them...particularly because i am starting to date, or rather try to date...and although i am who i am, i'm sort of uncomfortable with them there...i also though don't want to hurt anybody's feelings about removing them...some have problems with my transition, which have been on-going for almost fifteen months now, and i don't want to shut them out anymore than they feel that they have...some are 'couples' pictures...and while i do cherish them and the memories, i do need to move on...any opinions or feelings about this?

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FTMax

I personally deleted any picture of myself that I felt poorly about, or I moved them into an album that I made private so that friends can't see it. I didn't want to see them pop up in my picture section on a regular basis, and I didn't want friends old or new being able to like or comment on them. You could also maybe just download them and keep them in a folder on your computer so that if you wanted to look at them, they'd be there but not on the internet on a site you spend a lot of time on.
T: 12/5/2014 | Top: 4/21/2015 | Hysto: 2/6/2016 | Meta: 3/21/2017

I don't come here anymore, so if you need to get in touch send an email: maxdoeswork AT protonmail.com
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Lynne

I can see that you are a very considerate person but this cannot go on forever. People need to realize that this is uncomfortable for you and if they really care about you they need to try to see beyond their own problems with your transition. I think you should give them any help you can, but after 15 months the time must come when you politely start ignoring people's wishes who would not like you moving forward.  I would not even use the same Facebook account after transition, but that's just me.
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ImagineKate

Delete what you don't like.

However I am taking a different approach which is opening a new fb account as the new me. Sounds crazy but the old one has kid pics and the like I don't want to get rid of. At the same time I have hundreds of "friends" (over 400). Maybe only about 100 or so I've met IRL. I really don't care to be out to all of them. If they find out by meeting me IRL, great. But I'm not putting it out there on social media. This is a compromise I've reached at with my wife who doesn't want the kid pics taken down from facebook.
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Beth Andrea

I made a separate acct for me, and deactivated the other. This way I can reactivate it briefly to look at "male me", or show it to special people (like my wife)

Can someone tell me the purpose of having hundreds or thousands of "friends"?
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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SandraB

at first i was going to de-activate and open up another account...but i sort of polled my friends...and they all said to just keep what i had...i only have friends that are true friends..and i'm not clogged up with people that i really don't know (with exception to one who was a caretaker for a friend of mine who is no longer with us)...so i'm stuck...so to speak...with these old pics...and as i said, i'm really torn with what to do...some of them are of my soon to be ex and i...and i worry that she'll kind of wig out if i take them all off...

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Tessa James

Sandra your sensitivity to friends and your past life is very cool.  You also point out some of the pitfalls the digital age has for those wanting to blend in or go stealth.  Still there are serious triggers some of us experience and many work overtime to feel free from a hurtful past.  And then there are the family and friends who may never want to cooperate and turnover their old and cherished images for destruction.  How do we deal with that?  More questions than I can answer and I look forward to other view points.
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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stephaniec

tough love: move on . save pictures, delete account , tell the ones you want to stick around where your going . done
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ImagineKate

Quote from: Beth Andrea on January 18, 2015, 12:08:40 PM
I made a separate acct for me, and deactivated the other. This way I can reactivate it briefly to look at "male me", or show it to special people (like my wife)

Can someone tell me the purpose of having hundreds or thousands of "friends"?

It snowballed out of control for me when I became involved in activism and people needed to contact me for activities related to the causes I'm involved in.

Plus I'm a ham radio operator and people who contact me will end up friending me.

I may take the opportunity to get off social media anyway. I'm gradually handing off the activism stuff to other people. They know I have something going on, they just don't know what.

I've been on Facebook since 2005 when it was just a handful of colleges and called thefacebook.com. I think it's time to move on.
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