Hello girls,
i had a strenuous Xmas and new year period. i sometimes take on more than i should and so it was that i went on a rescue mission to try and help
out my irresponsible uncle stuck in Philippines without money. He is a lovable rogue that drives everyone nuts that cares for him. After much worrying
and sleepless nights i finally gave up on him and left him to his own resources, it was either that or go bonkers. During this time i lost my way a bit
in my transition, it really broke my rhythm and this whole month i have been struggling with it. A few days ago i had my first session with a new T
and i felt that i was again moving in the right direction, but then nagging doubts began creeping in again and i have been sort of lost lately and dreading
an upcoming appointment i have with the heartless head psychologist of the trans program here.
Last night had a breakthrough and it happened in a dream. i was in a classroom of sorts divided into two groups by sexes and i was standing in the middle
and feeling embarrassed about myself but knowing where i belonged i made my way to the girls section, but even though they were less than welcoming
at first one made room for me beside her on a chair and i sat down. The woman teacher called me by my chosen name and held out two halves of a shell
with a hole on one side and challenged me to balance them together and when i tried and found it to be impossible for me she smiled and said then don´t try
sweetie. i woke up and for the first time in a couple of months was sure of who i am and choose to be. i am a woman and my name is Linda.
It´s such a relief to be sure and hope i don´t doubt it again.
Linda
