So, for a while now I've been debating on how and when to come out to my best friend. The worry I had was that she is my closest and really one of my only friends in real life (offline) so I didn't want to jeopardize our relationship. Especially since these days I don't really have any contact with my family, so the few friends I have are all I've got.

So for a few weeks now, I've been dropping little hints that I needed to talk to her about something that might change things and that I was nervous about it and not sure if I was entirely ready, but that I was feeling the need to come clean and tell her something.

A few nights ago, I told her I was so nervous about this discussion that I wanted to have that I was probably going to write it down in a letter (I've been carrying around said letter in my wallet for a few weeks now). And she said that was cool and also hinted that she had a pretty good idea as to what I was going to say. (I had my doubts).

So today I was over at her house and decided to just go for it. And she was right about knowing what I was going to say. And at first she said something like, "I think you should just learn how to love yourself how you are." And I seriously almost lost it right then and there. Holding back tears and freaking out and everything. She keep talking, saying that I should talk to someone like a therapist because this was a big decision that would change a lot of things and she was afraid for me. 

But then I started talking about why I wanted to do this, about how I could transition, and where I saw my life could go if I did....and her whole attitude changed. Apparently when I started talk, my whole face lite up and changed and I was smiling at the very thought of starting my transition. And seeing that she stopped and said. "Well there's you're answer right there. Look how freakin happy you are just talking about it."

We talked for a long while. And she said she would always accept me and support me, even if some of our other friends might have a hard time coming around to the idea and process it. And that she was still afraid for me. And that it might be hard for her to switch to a new name and stuff but that she would if I could give her the time to adjust.

At one point she also said that the whole time we've been friends (about 10 years) she always got a "guy vibe" from me. I wanted to jump up and do a tap dance at that.

She also said that her and my other friends had actually talked about this possibility before. (I guess I wasn't as good as hiding inside the closet as I thought). And that they all seemed pretty open to the idea even though some of them would take a bit of time to process the idea. And that's good to know how they're feeling about the idea.

So yeah, good day. I know there's still a long hard road ahead of me, but feeling like that I don't have to hide from my best friend makes it so much better.

Sorry this is so long, but I just had to freak out a little bit about how well it went. Such a load off my chest.

Awesome! 

ITs great that your friend is so supportive! It's always incredibly validating when a close friend says something like "oh I never really saw you as a girl" so yeah that part is always great! It's amazing how people can catch onto things you could be completely oblivious to. I've had a couple of times when I'm casually "coming out" to a friend and I say something like "I think I'm transgender, and you know it makes sense.." And I'm just about to go into a lengthy monologue of how it makes sense and explaining my feelings, when they simply say "yeah it does." It always surprises me when someone does that, in a good way.

That is awesome!  Congrats on coming out! I remember coming out to my best friend, and her response was "well that explains alot".  She is very accepting of me, and I'm glad you have good friends that are willing to accept you.