Lately I've noticed that I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror unless I'm doing my morning / makeup routine or I already have makeup on or I'm removing makeup. I am having trouble looking at myself in male mode. How do others deal with this situation?

well...

I wink at myself and blow myself kisses. Then it makes me laugh, and then I glow. The grumpy male fades away.

I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip.

Same here Sabrina, in the mirror mornings are ok but during the day to make mirrors and window reflections more tolerable I just try to look at positive things like my hair getting longer or how my boobs look in the top I'm wearing....girl stuff

Quote from: Michelle G on January 28, 2015, 01:52:29 AM
Same here Sabrina, in the mirror mornings are ok but during the day to make mirrors and window reflections more tolerable I just try to look at positive things like my hair getting longer or how my boobs look in the top I'm wearing....girl stuff

Me too 
Only thing that keeps me going forward is the changes, body shape and feminine smiles


L Katy

At night, I do not try to erase eye makeup, sun cream and lipstick. I am not quite sure how bad it would be to my skin, but I like the remaining makeup when waked up.



barbie~~

I hate to see the male face looking back at me. Because I'm bald, I don't feel like me until I have my wig in place. I'm "P/T F/T"... meaning I spend part of my week in one location where I can only be myself in my apartment and part of my week in another location where I can be F/T. Even F/T I cringe when I look in the mirror w/o my wig and makeup. I'm not on hormones yet either and mentally I just feel that much further from being myself.
I envy those with a sense of humor for this. I can laugh at myself in a lot of ways, but not about this.

I had a horrible day today with the mirror in the toilets at uni.  So I know how you feel. 

And then I get home and in the bathroom mirror at home I don't look quite as horrendous.  I don't know.  But that mirror at uni, with the harsh lighting and... I don't know what it is, but... it's awful.  I don't know what's real, but if that's real, I don't know how I ever manage to leave the house. 

Now that I think of it, despite the male looking back at times, the development of my breasts, butt, and length of my hair is a source of comfort.

Maybe I'm the odd one out, but I don't have a problem with the mirror, most of the time.  I think it's because I see the woman I am in the mirror, even without having shaved or put makeup on, or the like.  Yes, I see the facial hair, and don't like it.  Yes, I see the more masculine structures of my face, and don't like it.  But, I see who I really am.  And as I see changes, whether with makeup or checking out my growing hair, or the like, I actually feel giddy.  So while I may not call the mirror an ally, it is most certainly not an enemy to me.  I'm pre-hrt, btw.

sometimes I feel I have made progress and I am very happy. Other times I look and see an ugly guy and get very sad and then get even sadder because there is so much to be happy over but I am worrying about looks

Quote from: Sabrina on January 27, 2015, 08:09:02 PM
Lately I've noticed that I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror unless I'm doing my morning / makeup routine or I already have makeup on or I'm removing makeup. I am having trouble looking at myself in male mode. How do others deal with this situation?

I avoid mirrors and reflective surfaces

I despise looking at "him" but I enjoy looking at myself in the mirror when I'm in girl mode which is all the time except at work. Especially if I'm wearing something cute. I don't really wear makeup yet (that'll change soon once I pay a backlog of bills).

It's nice to know that the mirror problem is a bit more universal (and certainly not in my head). Pre-HRT I just...if I looked in the mirror, it was auto-depression. So I remember avoiding looking in the mirror and even looking people in the eyes. Now, I can look in the mirror and I'm not as hard on myself. I mean, if we are hard on ourselves, how can we expect others to not be hard on us. So when I do look and I see the flaws, I narrow my eyes as if I'm looking deeper. When I do that, I can see things different about me than the pre-hrt days. It relaxes me and in an odd way, motivates me to do more, strive more, etc. I want to be able to go out with no make up and feel confident the way I use to be able to fake my confidence in the past. Starts with looking past the flaws, appreciating what little features you think make you look attractive, and just loving yourself. I've still got a way to go of course but I do hope my words help some of you with this problem. Oh and of course, you're not alone, which for me is comforting.

FYI: I'm IS.

For me looking in the mirror is weird.  I've never been able to see male or female.  Even growing up, I couldn't tell. 

However about a week ago, I found my Doppelganger on Facebook.  She also has Albinism, and is only a year older than me.  We look so much alike, that when I show a comparative picture of both of us, everyone thinks she's me.

Quote from: Sabrina on January 27, 2015, 08:09:02 PM
Lately I've noticed that I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror unless I'm doing my morning / makeup routine or I already have makeup on or I'm removing makeup. I am having trouble looking at myself in male mode. How do others deal with this situation?

Well, I made this promise to myself upon initiating HRT that I would only look at myself in boy mode -- and would only present in boy mode -- until I looked female 100% of the time.  That way, if I got gendered correctly (which is starting to happen more often), I would feel more confident about where I'm heading and wouldn't attribute it all to makeup and presentation.

But most aren't like that at all, and I realize this.  However, keep in mind that cisgender females are much like yourself in that they won't leave their room without looking top-notch.  I guess I can kind of relate actually; I shave my facial hair in my own room because I don't want people to see me with it. 

Quote from: Yukihime on January 28, 2015, 12:59:36 PM
Pre-HRT I just...if I looked in the mirror, it was auto-depression. So I remember avoiding looking in the mirror and even looking people in the eyes. Now, I can look in the mirror and I'm not as hard on myself.

I agree with that. I clearly saw a man pre-HRT and found it rather baffling. I know I am not a man, so why did I see one staring back at me in the mirror? It really brought me down, so I only did it to apply sunscreen or to keep hair out of my face. Sometimes I still see a man and it really hurts; other times I see a woman and I find it so reassuring. Wearing more feminine shirts has gone a long way toward helping me see a woman and not a man, to the point at which the mirror can even give me hope on a good day, or still make me cringe after a high-calorie binge which tends to bring out the masculine features. My presentation seems to change so readily that I am not sure what to make of it, other than to be optimistic since it is still capable of changing; maybe there is hope for me after all if I really set my mind to it.

The food is calling...