Well uh, hi.

So, this is a kind of odd time in my life. Very recently, I'd discovered that I would... definitely prefer to be female than male, and wish I was born female. After a while of contemplating, I'd decided to talk to a few people about it. Except that... I'm not sure who to ask. I spoke to a few people that I'd met over an online gaming platform called Steam, however I'm just not really sure what to say. At the moment, I'm only twelve, so I don't really want to make any decisions, however it's definitely clear I wish I was female. I openly identify as bisexual, and most of my friends know -- though my parents don't (lol I guess?) simply because I don't know what their reactions will be, however I'm even more unsure of what their reactions will be when I tell them of my recently discovered gender dysphoria. Anyway, I guess I'm writing this post to try and ask what I should do? Due to a predicament recently with my parents splitting, and a couple anxiety diagnosis with my brother and me, I'm currently not attending school. My parents have been under immense stress and I truly do not wish to disrupt them any more. One of my in real life friends knows of my desire to be female, however I told them I wouldn't do anything about it. This simply because it was a girl that I used to... "like-like" per se, if that isn't too childish to say, and it would've made things kind of weird. We remain good friends afterwards, and it seemed almost nice to get it off my chest.

Anyway, I'm kind of rambling now. I'm simply curious as to who I should talk to, and how I should go about doing it? Especially at my current age. Should I even talk to anyone? And should I tell my parents or... people I'm close to?

Any help is appreciated, thanks,

Gerby^^

Hey Gerby, a warm welcome! First of all, talk to us if you feel comfortable, that would be a good start . There is also a youth board on here, so you can connect with other folks in your age group.

If you're questioning, a good person to talk to would also be a counselor/therapist. Do you have access to one because of the anxiety diagnosis? If not, this may require letting your parents know that something is up, but I would recommend confiding in them only if you're fairly certain they'll be able to handle this.

Quote from: adrian on February 03, 2015, 07:00:19 AM
If you're questioning, a good person to talk to would also be a counselor/therapist. Do you have access to one because of the anxiety diagnosis? If not, this may require letting your parents know that something is up, but I would recommend confiding in them only if you're fairly certain they'll be able to handle this.

I do currently go to a doctor for prescriptions and to track my progress, however no I do not have a therapist or anything as of right now. If I ever have a moment alone with my doctor, it might be worth asking about it.
Thanks for the reply, and the welcome. :3

I'm sure others will be along with good suggestions, but one possibility might be this: you could suggest to this doctor and/or your parents that you would like to see a therapist to help you deal with the anxiety. Like this you might be able to get access to a therapist (albeit one who doesn't necessarily specialize in gender) without having to disclose your gender questioning to anyone else for the time being.

Other members here have come out to their parents with the help of a therapist (in a session that all of them attended together), so this could be an option further down the road.

Quote from: adrian on February 03, 2015, 10:05:44 AM
I'm sure others will be along with good suggestions, but one possibility might be this: you could suggest to this doctor and/or your parents that you would like to see a therapist to help you deal with the anxiety. Like this you might be able to get access to a therapist (albeit one who doesn't necessarily specialize in gender) without having to disclose your gender questioning to anyone else for the time being.

Other members here have come out to their parents with the help of a therapist (in a session that all of them attended together), so this could be an option further down the road.

Thanks a lot for the suggestions, I'll definitely consider them. At this point in time, I'm still rather confused -- though definitely rather confident in my current beliefs and feelings -- so any help is appreciated.

Definitely go and see a therapist. They'll help out with a lot of confusion, and your anxiety. Also keep in mind that you don't have to stick with whatever therapist that your doctor and/or your parents first get for you, if you don't really connect with them, or if they're uncomfortable talking about gender identity. It's a lot like finding a pair of comfortable shoes. Sometimes you get lucky and you like the first ones you try on, but it's okay to shop around a bit. Remember, they're there to help you, and if you don't connect to them, it'll make opening up a lot harder.

A good one will help you sort out your gender identity, whatever it may be, and will help you find a way to talk to your parents about it. I know you're worried about sowing more chaos into your parent's already chaotic lives, but speaking as a parent, this would be something I would want to know about sooner rather than later, so I can do what I can to help.

Quote from: Shodan on February 03, 2015, 11:10:53 AM
Definitely go and see a therapist. They'll help out with a lot of confusion, and your anxiety. Also keep in mind that you don't have to stick with whatever therapist that your doctor and/or your parents first get for you, if you don't really connect with them, or if they're uncomfortable talking about gender identity. It's a lot like finding a pair of comfortable shoes. Sometimes you get lucky and you like the first ones you try on, but it's okay to shop around a bit. Remember, they're there to help you, and if you don't connect to them, it'll make opening up a lot harder.

A good one will help you sort out your gender identity, whatever it may be, and will help you find a way to talk to your parents about it. I know you're worried about sowing more chaos into your parent's already chaotic lives, but speaking as a parent, this would be something I would want to know about sooner rather than later, so I can do what I can to help.

Thanks a ton, I really appreciate the reply. I guess I'll try and steal a couple minutes alone with my doctor next time I have an appointment, seems like my best option at the moment.

Also we have an IRC chat if you want to chat with us in realtime