Well, took alot of work, and trading, but now I am at home for the week. Now to do what I think will be the biggest waste of breath since bush...talking to my parents.

I just got done talking to my mother, and no matter how i tried to explain, or what angle I used, all I got was 'I just don't see it in you'.

This is after she tried to talk to my counseler, read the book, and countless times talking to me. All she keeps saying was she saw me as the least feminine of my brothers. Even accused me of manipulating the two shrinks to get this result.

I am trying to be patient, but...what else can I do? I plan to start full time almost immidietly after being discharged. I guess that the only bright side, is that they won't supposedly have any financial carrots to dangle in front of me since I will be on my own pretty much.

Any suggestions are welcome as always. Thanks all.

Hey there Luana,

Quote from: Luana
I am trying to be patient, but...what else can I do?

At this point in time I would say that you have nothing else to do until later.  The reaction I got from Gillians mother was similar to your own moms reaction in that "she didn't understand it, and that I was just looking for attention".  She didn't disown me, or turn her back on me, she calls me Steph, and is quite willing to accept me this way.

The big thing is that she accepts me, she doesn't agree with me, or understands, but she does accept me.  This is what you should hope for and judging from your moms reaction I think that is where your own mom is now.  Patience and time, give her as much as she needs, what do you have to loose.  You could lose your mom if you don't.

Steph

Personally, I think expecting someone to understand, who has not lived such a total lie as we so often do, is silly. As close as I can tell in a normal life there is no basis for understanding.

^*shrug* My family can do whatever it wants for I love them, but I confess... not being accepted would bend my nose terribly.


Luana, one thing good about "'I just don't see it in you'." is that your male presentation was pretty convincing . On a side note, from what I understand that is relatively normal in that we tend to be um... AWARE... of who we really are and hiding **all** traces as best we can is one of the approaches we use to deal with this situation.

But as Steph has said generally give it time, often such things take time to set in. Sadly it is **such** a foreign concept to most people. So I echo her advice... give it some time.

P.s. I am glad you are hanging in there! ^*HUG*

HI Launa,
How are things going now that a few weeks have past?
Hope your doing well.

Smiles,
Peggiann

Well, I can't go home, so now I am reworking my plans. I plan to stay in the city I am now so now I have to find a decent job. *sighs* Just gotta do this one step at a time. ^^

Quote from: Luana on January 22, 2006, 03:47:02 PM
Well, I can't go home, so now I am reworking my plans. I plan to stay in the city I am now so now I have to find a decent job. *sighs* Just gotta do this one step at a time. ^^

I hear you on that.  That damn job thing is so important to everybody but more so for us.  What are the job prospects like where you are, and what are your plans for finding a place to live?  The two go hand in hand.  Is there a special field you are looking at?  I remember when I retired from the Service my first job was with a major grocery chain, in their seafood department.  Never in a million years did I think that I would be selling fish   It was a stop gap measure to tide me over until a better job came along.  The pay sucked, and the hours were long, and my clothes always smelled of fish, other than that it was wonderful work.

The key is to find something to keep you going, put food on the table and a roof over your head.  From this you will be in a better position to look for better employment.  But I'm probably preaching to the choir

Steph

Oh Launa,

I'm so sorry to hear this. Please do keep us informed as to your progress on reworking your plans. Also like Steph said any job is ok at this point to put a roof over your head and food in your tummy. Keep your chin up and know there are people whom, are here for you when you need an ear to vent with, and master mind a plan. Be careful and be safe Lady.

You are in my prayers,
Peggiann

Hi Luana,
Sorry to hear that your mother won't accept you.
Hang in there time may help her change her mind.
I'm sure she is still in shock from the news and is also in denial.
Praying For You
Jillieann

Well, for the most part finding a job shouldn't be so hard, but where the transition thing fits in is the question. How do I apply? Female or male? I was planning to start in the role almost immidetly. ><

As for housing, a friend from TGEA is offering me the use of her basement. However I am hesitent for though she means well, she is... pushy. Even knowing my situation she dragged me into a mall that wasn't far from base and practically forced me to have a facial. I should have said no but... *shrugs*.

I just fear moving in with her will just bring a whole slew of new problems, but if if I need to...

Anyways, still have at least 3 months *hopes* before I am out, tring to get a part time job for a little extra cash. Especially since I seem to have gotten my wish and the military shrink is putting off meeting with me for another month.

Anyways, thats my sob story! Thanks for all the concern! ^^

Well, for the most part finding a job shouldn't be so hard, but where the transition thing fits in is the question. How do I apply? Female or male?
Anyways, still have at least 3 months *hopes* before I am out, tring to get a part time job for a little extra cash.

I can see the wondering now. It's not easy to know what to do in this situation. I would think you would want to go in for the job application and apply as a that which you will be transitioning to. That way it's in the open with the new boss and you don't have to put up with trying to get those around you to accept you. Just seems that less issues to have to deal with in just a short time after being hired.

I just fear moving in with her will just bring a whole slew of new problems, but if if I need to...

I wouls say unless it's absolutly needed your innerself is telling you something and you should listen to it. You will have enough issues arise in the next few months so don't add others you think maybe just around the corner if you go this path of the offer of using the basement. Keep your options open and looking for another place without the hassles if at all possible.

Just my thoughts on it anyway.

Glad you shared.

Smiles,
Peggiann