Hello!

I've been pretty sure I'd come out as transgender when I felt I had a decent chance at passing.  I was pretty certain I could get HTR for a few months before coming out (a friend of mine did that and it saved her a lot of stress and grief.) 
However, I'm starting a new research course, which will last for a year.  I'm kind of at the stage where if I come out now I can always be known as myself to these new people, but if I do it later then I'll need to change that about half way into the course. 

I'm currently not passable, of course (and that's not up for discussion!).  But if I'm in a safe space, that doesn't bother me at all.  I'd be more comfortable being myself even if I don't pass than if I were to pretend I'm not who I am.  For me, university is a safe space. 

It would also probably help with my eventual coming out full time, and convincing my psychologist that I'm serious about this if I do it early. 

Another part of it is that I'm actually a fairly active member of my university's queer group and if I come out as transgender then it might help give other transgender students some representation (and that's been missing for a while now). 

However, coming out at university basically means coming out in all of my social circles.

Next issue is that I'm hoping to be a tutor for a class this year, actually running classes and such.  I don't want to transition half way through that!  But do I have the courage to teach a class right now as an openly transgender person?!  I have no idea!

I need advice, if any of you can help me!

Edit:

I'm having trouble sleeping and now I'm just considering whether to come out to family as well and get their help with transitioning (once I have figured out if friends will put me up for a while if things become intolerable at home when I tell them.)
Past experience tells me I should wait, these feelings will pass and I'll go back to being content not telling them but this time is so strong and I feel capable of telling everyone at once.

I've always dealt with my identity crises without aid from my family, from the time I was a small child.  Basically, they had very negative reactions to my feminine personality when I was a kid and it meant I didn't tell them anything.  I still don't!  But maybe now I should get their support for a change.  It's freaking me out that I might go ahead and tell people over the next week or so, but I'm sort of excited with the possibilities of it all.  I'm not considering full time, not at all.  But I'm considering part time and having more than four of my friends know.

Remember that your official name doesn't strictly have to match the name you go by in social circles.  Plenty of people have nicknames, pet names, or even go by their middle name.

It might make you feel more at peace if you update your new name in official records, but choose a more "bridging" name or nickname to use in social circles until you pass (maybe pick a new middle name for that?).

Prepare for the possibility that people who have known you for years will have a challenge remembering your new name or might just refuse to try unless they understand why.  If you picked your name or nickname for a special reason (like it has a meaning, it's related to your family history, etc.) it can help family members accept it.

The sooner you can introduce yourself to people with your new name, and be called that name even on mail, you will start to feel more yourself.

I've actually already changed my name   I've always hated my old name, and knowing there was a chance I might transition in the future I changed mine to a gender neutral name.  I have no intention of changing it again so it'll all be good!

I've decided to come out at uni.  I even went further and came out to my family and other friends.  Oops?

Quote from: Ara on February 14, 2015, 09:58:00 AM
I've decided to come out at uni.  I even went further and came out to my family and other friends.  Oops?

Congratulations, it's a big step! 

that's a big step