My family Dr. has retired and was replaced by another Dr. The first Dr. was empathetic and instead of putting transgender on my records, he put erectile dysfunction. There was need for privacy and he respected it. The new Dr.  is, pardon my language, a jackass. He keeps reducing my testosterone, and its starting to cause a problem. Last time I went in, he asked me why I started taking the androderm. What symptoms I had. I told him I was a F to M transgender, and he again asked what symptoms I had that started me on the testosterone. It was clear that he didn't know what I was talking about. This is a man who, in three years has never so much as listened to my heart.

I told him that I didn't think he was getting what I was telling him, and he got mad and said he did. That was followed by again, what symptoms did you have that made you start taking testosterone. He finally got the message and balled me out for not having my surgeries on my medical record. I told him his predisesor didn't see why it needed to be on there and had put in erectile dysfunction to help me keep the fact private. So knowing about surgeries that occurred a quarter century ago is important to put in the record, but not my heart rate.

Why, you ask, don't I change Dr.s? I'm going to, but its a tricky situation. Insurance doesn't cover anything that has to do with transitioning, which would include the androderm patches. They are horrendously expensive, and I couldn't afford them without it. Even though I am a legalized male, I fear the wrong wording on my medical record would mean the end of my androgerm, the same in my mind as castration. I know I need to change before I really tell this guy off or worse yet, leave him with a fat lip.

Through the years, there have been times when I've had to reveal the fact that I am a transgender, and the place I get the most predjudice is in the medical field. I've even had an ER Dr. insist that he perform a rectal after I told him that I was a F to M transgender and didn't have a prostate.

If I had a cleft lip or was missing a toe or any other problem, i would be accepted. People think that being a transgender is just about sex. Its not. Its about being in the wrong body. All I want is to live as peacefully as I can and blend into society as a male. Medical schools need to change the way they are teaching their students to deal with transgenders. We have been through enough in our lives without having our Dr.s treat us like subhumans.

Thanks for letting me blow off some steam.

Sam1234

By all means change doctors immediately. You might vet the available physicians by finding out how they feel about LGBTQ patients--you wouldn't have to say who you or what your status is. Also, some hospitals/clinics have an online system whereby you find "the right doctor for you." It's worth looking into.

The way I understand it, the digital rectal exam is pretty standard in the ER, and it makes no difference who you are. Whether it's a necessary procedure is a different story entirely, but it's de rigueur as far as I have heard.

P.S. I've been pretty lucky with health care, but I live in a large city. It sounds like you need to proceed cautiously and gather as much information as you can about the docs in your area.

Thanks. I'll ask my pain management Dr. (he is very cool with the whole thing) if he knows of someone in the area that is transgender friendly. I wish I could just use him, but he just does anesthesia and chronic pain.

Sam1234

I just thought of something. My doctor left the system and has another job now. I am at a loss. I mean, the health care system I use has been fine, but this doctor was special. I've tracked him down in his new job and intend to write him a short letter to ask for recommendations of other doctors still in the system. Could you do the same with your old doctor? If you are lucky, both your old doc and your pain management doc will say the same thing.

Whatever you do, don't delay any further. Putting up with your current doctor must be eating away at you.

I guess I should take my own advice and write to my old doc this weekend. I'll need a T refill soon, and I'm not keen on seeing a doctor who is an unknown quantity. As I said, I've been lucky so far, but I don't want to take any chances.

Quote from: Arch on February 08, 2015, 03:46:29 AM
I just thought of something. My doctor left the system and has another job now. I am at a loss. I mean, the health care system I use has been fine, but this doctor was special. I've tracked him down in his new job and intend to write him a short letter to ask for recommendations of other doctors still in the system. Could you do the same with your old doctor? If you are lucky, both your old doc and your pain management doc will say the same thing.

Whatever you do, don't delay any further. Putting up with your current doctor must be eating away at you.

I guess I should take my own advice and write to my old doc this weekend. I'll need a T refill soon, and I'm not keen on seeing a doctor who is an unknown quantity. As I said, I've been lucky so far, but I don't want to take any chances.

Thats a good idea. My old Dr. is retired, but goes to retirement homes for visits, so his license must still be active. Right now I'm in the middle of trying to get my birth certificate changed so I can get a passport, and a Dr. will have to submit a letter attesting to the fact that I have had the surgeries. My Pain Dr. was told of my gender issue when I started seeing him, but that was over a decade ago and he may have forgotten. It really annoys me that we have to jump through hoops with Dr.s to get the same treatment others get. Personally, I think they get hung up on the idea that its a sexual issue, and our society seems to be uncomfortable with anything surrounding it. Its more a gender issue.

Sam1234

I changed my passport about five years ago, so things might have changed. But I didn't need to change my birth certificate to get my passport altered. Are you applying for a passport for the first time, or are you changing an existing passport?

In fact, the BC is my last hurdle. I haven't changed it because my birth state doesn't actually CHANGE the BC and only attaches an amendment card to it. I really didn't see the point of going through the courts and paying about four hundred bucks to get the appropriate documentation just for an amendment card.

But I guess I have to because that stupid birth certificate just burns away at me.

I never thought I'd have to change it. I was adopted, and in '63 they didn't give the adoptive parents a birth certificate, just an adoption letter. If you already have your birth certificate, it won't be as bad, but there are still a few steps and getting papers noterized. It took me a while to find where to go, but if you want to have it changed, go to the registrar in your state. You can look it up on line. The guy I got has been really helpful in leading me through all the steps. Both in changing my birth certificate and getting the passport. You will need the original papers from your name change and some identification. You also need a Dr. who will write a letter saying that you have had the surgeries. Its a pain, but probably worth doing.

Sam1234

I'm afraid I can't change my BC without going to court. I changed my name years and years ago through the common use method instead of getting a court order. Consequently, I need to go to court now to satisfy my birth state. While I'm in court, I might as well change my legal sex with the court as well. The name and sex change decree should satisfy my birth state.

I should still have my notarized name change document and the original letter that my physician wrote for my passport; that might be enough for me to get both name and gender changed through the courts here in CA. Once I have that, I can apply for an amended BC from my birth state.

It kinda drives me nuts that the BC will still have all of the wrong information on it. I suspect that I'll still have issues even after getting an amendment, but at least I'll know that I've gone as far as I can go.

Once you have a passport, a birth certificate is pretty much irrelevant. I haven't needed mine in 30 or 40 years. That said, it annoys the heck out of me that the state where I was born requires proof that one has had surgery before they'll change a birth certificate.

Arch, if you have to go to court, you might want to contact one of the LGBT legal rights organizations in your area -- they're usually pretty good about giving advice about this stuff, and some will even represent you in court for free, or give you a referral to someone who'll help.

Quote from: Tysilio on February 08, 2015, 10:43:02 PM
Once you have a passport, a birth certificate is pretty much irrelevant. I haven't needed mine in 30 or 40 years. That said, it annoys the heck out of me that the state where I was born requires proof that one has had surgery before they'll change a birth certificate.

Arch, if you have to go to court, you might want to contact one of the LGBT legal rights organizations in your area -- they're usually pretty good about giving advice about this stuff, and some will even represent you in court for free, or give you a referral to someone who'll help.

We shouldn't have to prove we are who we say we are. At least not our gender. I agree with that totally.
Its worth checking the state Registrar about your BC if you haven't already. I thought I was going to have a huge problem with it because I was adopted. The guy helping me keeps me informed and I"ve never seen a government thing go so well.

Oh, by the way, I'm trying to get a new passport, not renew one.

Sam1234

I encountered stonewalling from my (very conservative Southern) birth state when I first made inquiries. I established that the state would not recognize my name change nor accept a doctor's letter, so all the documentation I had (a dozen pieces that established my prior and current name and sex) was not enough. The only way to get the amendment is to do a court-ordered name and gender change here in my state of residence.

I believe that the woman I was corresponding with in Vital Records stopped communicating with me because she thought I was trying to steal someone's identity. At that point, all I wanted to do was correct an error, not change name and gender, but I was told that I would have to go to court first. As I mention above, I still had a lot of my old documentation to prove who I was, but that apparently wasn't enough. However, she stopped writing back, so I never fully resolved the situation.

Now, a couple of years later, I want to not only correct the error but also change name and gender. A trans advocacy group has offered to run interference between me and my birth state. I should be able to handle the name and gender change myself. I might have to get legal help down at the courthouse or from a storefront attorney, just to be sure. But these things are supposed to be pretty cut and dried.

When I have the time, I'll start the process and hope that they give me a court date that doesn't conflict with my teaching schedule.

After that, the BC process should be pretty standard. I hope I don't confuse them by wanting to both correct an error on the original AND change name and sex for the amendment card.

Vital records was the first place I went. They gave me the run around. It wasn't until I went to the state's registrar that I got any help. When I started looking for a passport, I went straight to the gov. passport site. They told me that due to confidentiality, they wouldn't give information online. I then called them and they said that they wouldn't give out information over the phone.

I wish I had gotten a passport when i had everything else done, but i never thought I would go anywhere that needed one. For a long time, you could go to Canada without a passport, but now you need one to cross the border. Sad.

Sam1234

You have my sympathies. It sounds like we are both in fairly unorthodox situations, but I already have the passport and don't really need to change the birth certificate--except to reduce my stupid dysphoria.

Vibes to you on your bureaucratic journey...