Quote from: ScottyMac on February 10, 2015, 03:34:15 PM
You dont have to post any notice of a name change in Britain, so I will be fine there.
Will there be a "X changed their name to Y" document that will show up in the background check, and/or be easily accessible?

Not necessarily but job applications do ask if you went by any other name for background checks. You can't exactly hide that especially if you have work or academic history.

On any tax documents I fill out, I have to declare all past names used (which means my birth name, my current name, AND the married last name I had for a little bit).  Not sure how it is in Britain, but that's how it is here.

I understand the desire to have the option to go stealth.  But, as others have pointed out, the preoccupation with passing 100% of the time can be a dangerous rabbit hole that has the potential to keep us from living an amazing life.  Before I started transitioning, I was very worried about what a long and arduous process it may end up being.  I had no idea what to expect, and my imagination definitely tried to fill in the gaps.  I understand the fear.

But, thankfully, my actual experiences transitioning have quieted that fear.  I hope you find the same when/if you begin your own transition.

I am in the awkward, middle part of my transition.  There's no hiding it.  I am pre-top surgery (and very large chested so the male presentation is obviously incongruous with the female-appearing body) and only 5 months on T.  I am out to all my friends and coworkers now, and everyone is beginning to change pronouns.  There's no hiding my transness at this stage in my transition.  My fear was that people would turn their backs to me... that I would lose people.  In reality?  My current friendships deepened, and are more supportive, honest, and real (from both sides) than I ever dreamed possible.  My coworkers are understanding and learning about trans issues so they can continue to support me. 

Long story short: I have never felt more love - both from others and for myself - than I do being out, even during this awkward-and-obvious-tweensition year.  People will surprise you.  And you will surprise yourself with your own strength.

I'd like to mention that 5+ years post-transition, I'm sort of "accidentally stealth." I've never made any effort to hide my history, and I transitioned in place; I even still write publicly as a trans woman author, though I don't link it directly to my journalism writing career. And yet, I'd say roughly 90% of the people I interact with in person these days don't know (of the remainder, 5% see me doing "diversity appearances" and the other 5% knew me before transition). It never comes up, and I feel weird volunteering it, and so...

Sure, there's a paper trail, and odds are someone behind the scenes with my mortgage company knows. But at the same time, weird ->-bleeped-<- shows up on credit files all the time, and there are cis women who've had their husbands' names mixed in with theirs, etc. So unless it's directly relevant - and it almost never is, now - even the bureaucrats I have to deal with don't have a clue.

As young and motivated as you are, you can probably manage 99.99% stealth. For daily life, trust me, that's more than enough.

Quote from: ScottyMac on February 10, 2015, 03:34:15 PM
You dont have to post any notice of a name change in Britain, so I will be fine there.
Will there be a "X changed their name to Y" document that will show up in the background check, and/or be easily accessible?

As far as I know for the UK and commonwealth you cannot change your name on your birth certificate. You'll need to have a deed poll and that will be presented along with your birth certificate if and when needed. I don't think any employers need your birth certificate though, only legal ID. So yes, there will always be a paper trail.

It won't be accessible by anyone in any computer database but as DragonBeer said you'd have to disclose it when applying for employment if they require your previous names for background checks.

"A transsexual person whose birth or adoption was registered in the UK, who is granted a full Gender Recognition Certificate by the Gender Recognition Panel, can get a new birth certificate reflecting their acquired gender from the Gender Recognition Register held at the General Register Office.
Someone looking at your new birth certificate will not be able to tell that you have legally acquired a different gender.
There is also the option for this new birth certificate to show your birth surname if different from the surname on your gender recognition certificate."

This is what I read on a UK website about it, so it looks like its possible.

I managed to start my hormones at sixteen, and will be having top surgery about three months post-18th.

My plan from there is to move towns and live in stealth.

I got on hormones when I was a bit over 16 I think and changed my name some time after at like 17 or so. I purposely waited to get a driver's license until my name was changed and stuff, but my gender marker hadn't been officially changed yet. It was funny though I went for my first license and the lady marked me as male even though on my IDs it said female then I had to go back cause someone noticed it was different. All they assumed was that they accidentally marked me down as female on my birth certificate and we never bothered to change it lmao. It was kind of funny. Eventually I got the gender marker changed though. Then I got top surgery and I moved far away and no one here knows I am trans. So yeah it can be possible to live in total stealth.

I totally understand that you don't want to be viewed as a transguy and just as a normal guy. That is also my goal. After I get bottom surgery, I'll just say I had like a deformity and stuff and stay completely stealth.

Quote from: randomdude5 on March 05, 2015, 12:58:41 PM
...
I totally understand that you don't want to be viewed as a transguy and just as a normal guy. That is also my goal. After I get bottom surgery, I'll just say I had like a deformity and stuff and stay completely stealth.

I am telling people I've got a hormone deficiency all the time, and I can't wait to blame that on my tiny little diddle after (hopefully at some point in the future) meta. I got my name changed at 16 and my gender marker changed at 17, on Medicare too, which means I'm medically considered cisgender. I just need chest surgery, and then to get a tattoo over my chest scars, and I can fly away from the hometown and contently create a new life. :')

Quote from: ScottyMac on February 08, 2015, 04:47:04 AM
I don't want to be accepted as a trans person, I just want to be seen as another guy, nothing different. It is great there is more acceptance though.
I suppose I've always been someone who hated attention, was never garish and out there and different. And now I'm being forced to be by being a transgender.

There are levels of out-ness for lack of a better word.  You don't have to wear a scarlet T after beginning transition, unless you want to.  Unfortunately, a lot of us have internalized a lot of transphobia, but it's part of reality.  People are always going to want to label you or define some as other, it's a petty and awful part of the human condition.  Wether you let labels define you, and the ways in which you may rebel against them is up to you.
Being stealth seems like being perfect or normal to me, an ideal that you can lose yourself striving for.  I want real acceptance from my friends, lovers, and family.  It won't feel real to me unless I'm honest and open to them.  But a stranger on the street won't usually clock me, and I don't wear a sign.  It all depends on how much power you want to give others over how you live your life.
If you start transitioning young, it's typically less costly to transition, and you have longer to live your authentic life as your chosen gender.  But I firmly believe that all young and old transpeople can with enough effort and money live stealth if they choose.  It just depends on your priorities.
Having the option to choose is only available once you've picked the direction you will to go.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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