I'm a security guard. In my line of work, "men" (I use the term as loosely as humanly possible) are expected to be short-haired and clean-shaven at all times. Clean-shaven, I haven't a problem with. My 5 o'clock shadow makes me cringe and scramble for the razor. But short-haired, I had a massive problem with, given my situation. Now, I'm not out at work, so nobody knows I'm the only trans person on the entire security force. But I've been pushing the envelope with the dress code as far as my hair goes for months. It's down to my jaw now. My supervisor had been mysteriously silent, considering a few months back I got wrote up for it. But the other day, it came up in conversation. Another guard got his hair, which had been barely three inches, trimmed to a buzz cut. Someone asked if our boss had told him not to come back to work until he got it cut, which was what happened to me last time. I jokingly commented about him being the last one of us who really needed a haircut, and my boss stated that the company policy had really lightened up due to an incident where the race card was shamelessly played when another employee's dreadlocks were brought into question. Rather than trying to enforce policy, the company relented on the issue of hair length.

Well, this got me to thinking...should I keep pushing? Should I see just how much longer they'll let it get before I get another write-up or a warning? I want to be able to be myself again, because before I started this job my hair was long, flowing, and beautiful, and I haven't felt right having to keep it trimmed to their previous standards...but at the same time, I worry that pushing it to that point again might result in termination, which I literally can NOT afford - I lose this job, I'll lose my home before I have a chance to find another. So I'm torn. I've considered multiple ways to have long hair and still look "male" - slicking it back with gel until it's long enough to pull into a ponytail, buying a short wig and letting it grow underneath, etc. - but part of me can't help but worry.

Any and all input on the subject would be greatly appreciated - I'm sure there are more of you that have dealt with this, or something like it, than I can guess.

I forced the issue with an employer about 20 years ago. I was a paramedic and was expected to keep my hair short and off the collar but female medics were under no such policy so I began growing mine out. When a supervisor called me out for it I pointed to the women whose hair was not only long but unbound and well past the collar. I asked him how he wanted his EEOC complaint.

They never said another word to me as long as I kept it in a ponytail.

I could bring that up. We don't currently have any female guards, but when we did, my boss was completely lax with them despite company policy requiring a ponytail or bun. Now, I run the risk of, "but you're not female"...which could force me to out myself before I'm ready...but I could probably skirt around that by mentioning the ponytail bit.

First attempt on hormones, my job at the time had and still do from what I've heard a policy. "Men: Hair must be above the collar". Now before I had came out to them I was in HR for another reason, after we had discussed that matter. She pulls out the handbook reads that comment then
"Yeah lets ignore that" (at that stage I was wearing it in a ponytail or out pending on my mood, and being 'mistaken' for a girl from behind) "Staff must have natural looking hair colour."
"Change your hair colour Gypsy" (My hair was bright purple at that time).

Sometimes keeping quiet and low is the best tatic. Keep it off your face use gel, bobby pins anything to keep it looking neat, nice and tidy. As soon as it becomes long enough to tie into a pony tail do so. When it gets longer turn it into a bun. Find out quietly the maximum lenth you can keep it. If its around the collar, and you can bare it that short do so. Remember you need the money now

Wigs I can't offer you advice on I was told I had to have short hair when I started my job. I grew mine out there. When I left I was still the only 'guy' who had long hair

Sorry I couldn't provide more help

Quote from: immortal gypsy on February 14, 2015, 02:49:03 AM
First attempt on hormones, my job at the time had and still do from what I've heard a policy. "Men: Hair must be above the collar". Now before I had came out to them I was in HR for another reason, after we had discussed that matter. She pulls out the handbook reads that comment then
"Yeah lets ignore that" (at that stage I was wearing it in a ponytail or out pending on my mood, and being 'mistaken' for a girl from behind) "Staff must have natural looking hair colour."
"Change your hair colour Gypsy" (My hair was bright purple at that time).

Sometimes keeping quiet and low is the best tatic. Keep it off your face use gel, bobby pins anything to keep it looking neat, nice and tidy. As soon as it becomes long enough to tie into a pony tail do so. When it gets longer turn it into a bun. Find out quietly the maximum lenth you can keep it. If its around the collar, and you can bare it that short do so. Remember you need the money now

Wigs I can't offer you advice on I was told I had to have short hair when I started my job. I grew mine out there. When I left I was still the only 'guy' who had long hair

Sorry I couldn't provide more help

"Above the collar" is what our policy had been. It keeps itself off my face, it's parted itself from the right since high school - been fighting that battle for a long time...only way to get it to part anywhere else is to get it down below the shoulders.

Right now, the very back, at the middle, slips up underneath my collar. Thankfully, that's a view hardly anyone ever gets, because in the office I rarely turn my back to anyone (a deliberate move), and on patrol, I take my jacket, which has a higher collar than the shirt anyways.

If I could find a way to get it to stay back right now, since I don't have any hair products, I'd be all set...to some extent. It'd show where it's been painfully slowly receding at the sides, but that's just a minor aesthetic gripe that I'm willing to deal with if it means being able to keep it a little longer.

I guess it's just the difference between a job that deals directly with the public and one where public interaction is nonexistent or almost nonexistent. I've worked in factories, and in customer service, and there doesn't seem to be any sort of hair policy for those.

Thankfully, I'm happy with the colour. I'm a fiery little redheaded vixen  though bright pink is appealing, I think I know better than that. Like you said...I need the money now.

If the difference is slight, curling it can make it look shorter.

Quote from: LordKAT on February 14, 2015, 03:06:45 AM
If the difference is slight, curling it can make it look shorter.

The ends curl on their own. Going any further than that would be too noticeable

Fair enough, it was just a thought.

I asked the VA if there was a specific policy for hair colour and they said no...I intend on taking advantage of that.

I worked behind a bar wearing a vest ans collared shirt. If you tie your hair loose and low as possible. You will be able to tuck your hair straight down behind your collar and directly down your back. This will get hot during the summer, you will want to keep your hair as clean as possible and it can be itchy at times

But if your collar is high enough people wont see your band and they can't see how long your hair actually is

Quote from: LordKAT on February 14, 2015, 03:06:45 AM
If the difference is slight, curling it can make it look shorter.

Quote from: StrykerXIII on February 14, 2015, 03:07:41 AM
The ends curl on their own. Going any further than that would be too noticeable

It will damage the hair as it is growing but buy some heat protector straighten it on your work days. I have found straight hair is easier to hide then wavy or curly hair

Have you started with hormones, and plan to transition to some level or completely in the near future (like 1-2 years)? Start looking for a new job, one that would be an appropriate working enviroment for a female.

I have had long hair for as long as I can remember. I am not religious but I will pull the religious card if needed over the years.

Jesus had long hair, so did Moses, so what is the issue? Even God is portrayed to have long flowing hair... Then I say it is against my religion to have short hair. So seriously, will they fire someone for their religious belief that If God intended your hair to be short it would grow like your eyebrows and stop short.

Just my 2 cents.

-Jade

I came out to HR 22 months ago and them my supervisor. One of the topics was hair. My supervisor said there is no policy about the length so do as you like. Unfortunately your company has a policy. Is there any chance your therapist could write a letter and then having a discussion with HR?