Turned 40 yesterday, so guess I'm here;) i had a condition where my testosterone level was under 50 for at least a few years before transition. I was pretty fit during that time too somehow, taking no hormones or anything illegal. Rather odd, but I had this desire for something that seemed missing. They tried putting me on testosterone, but deep down I didn't want to take it. I actually didn't know this was an option until a couple years ago, just preoccupied with life. But before that, I was already preparing for this life. I didn't think people would understand, but I had this deep depression that I tried so hard to fix myself. It wasn't until I found estradiol could be a replacement for testosterone, which I just despised. I know I'm not supposed to, but I had to try, so I acquired a couple months of pills to see if my blood levels would change. It was more than that, I became happy for one. I didn't have this deep hate I've had for some time. But most of all, I could for once deal with my diseases that cause deep pain and gave me a short life supposedly.
Everyone says I'm soo much nicer to be around. I noticed my clothes changed from blacks to pastels.. I just feel soo much better while still feeling hell!
It wasn't until recently that I've looked back on my past after reading books on signs of early ->-bleeped-<-. All the signs were there since I've been 5 or younger.. I guess it was the timing and being in the middle of Nebraska as a kid, this didn't exist? I'm happily married and feel bad doing this to my wife. She has luckily accepted it so far;)
My thing is getting to the point, my estradiol level is around 800. I take injections every week. I see my endo this week who prescribed me the meds. I got a call from his nurse last week asking about my injection intervals and amount, which I said it was the same except when I was on a 10 day setup.. I did not like the lows I was receiving. I swear I can feel the rise and fall of my levels and don't like my levels any lower than they are.. could this be in my head? My testosterone under 20, I've already had testicles removed for medical reasons. I don't plan srs as of yet, I just want to follow through my transition. The hormones seem more to me than a body changer. The shots are like xanax to me. Are there others like this? Basically I've had my mental health improve while everything else is failing. Is there a valid reason to lower the estradiol. I see too many levels on too many findings.. this stuff is still new, so I thought some of you that have longer times with estradiol than me may know. I've been on hormones 18 months and injections for 6 of them. They just seem soo much more stable for me and my mental state.. anyone else like this? I can't be making this up!