I'm a ftm. I have always avoided the toilets because when I was meant to use the girls toilets people would scream and hit me. Other kids scare me around school or attack me or say mean things to me. For six years at school they laugh at me and ask "what is it, is it a boy or a girl, I can't tell!" They try to touch me inappropriately and they call me lots of names and say if I want a...well, boy part, that they will put there's in me...and other really rapey sounding things... And they say that if I run away it only makes it more fun for them... I'm far too scared to use the boys toilets, so I just hold it in all day. It gets really difficult and I am scared I might get an infection because apparently I might. What should I do?

Other kids can be such petty nasty small minded jerks sometimes. Making fun of other people helps distract them from how pathetic they feel.

Have you spoken to the school counsellor or a teacher you trust? You can't expect this problem to resolve itself and you need someone in authority at the school to intervene and provide a solution. I don't know what your situation is with your parents but maybe they can talk to the school too. Even if it is using the teachers' toilets instead, a solution needs to be found for you.

it sounds like you are in high school and the other kids can be so hurtful at that age.  I am in college and transitioned ftm in college and today use the men's all the time.  I use the unisex in the few newer buildings that have them.  All the classroom buildings do not; what I do is go to a building where I don't have any classes and there is little chance of seeing someone I know.  This takes some planning but works for me.  I transitioned here at college so many know my history and I don't want to be seen by students I know as that could start questions.  I think work with your school is best, counselor, teachers, principal is the best way to go.

I kept telling the school for the first 4 years but they try to excuse it by saying "boys will be boys" when the other kids try to touch me inappropriately or say unkind things. I've told so many adults who should have the authority to at least do a few educational assemblies to at least educate the other students or punish them because I don't appreciate where they put their hands (and a friend of mine told me what is happening is illegal).

I'll ask my key worker (I have autism and so I am meant to get extra support) if she can sort out a toilet I can use.

Touching you inappropriately is something that the school should not be acting on.
If your guidance counselor knows your situation, there is no excuse for not intervening.

If you think that your parents would go in and talk to the school principle, then by all means, have them do it. You should not have to be afraid to use the bathroom. If the refusal to help continues, get yourself some pepper spray.

sam1234

Hugs. It's a horrible situation when you don't feel comfortable and are afraid for your safety.

You have the right to a safe school environment. Your school as an obligation under the law to provide it for you. They are breaking the law if you report this to them and they don't find a way for you to be safe.

My advice:
* Please report each and every incident of inappropriate touching or harassment to the school administration. Make sure they know that you are aware of the laws that require them to protect you.
* Write down in a safe place everything that happened to you. Put down dates and times. If your school administration doesn't do anything, this information will be very helpful to people who will be on your side.
* Find an adult you can trust to confide in. A parent, an older relative, a teacher, a school counselor, anyone who you think will understand how serious this is, and who can help you make sure the school lives up to their legal responsibility.
* If the school persists in not helping you feel safe, there are LGBT help organizations who are there for people just like you. They can help force the school to take your case seriously.
* Try to make friends and allies among your schoolmates. Some kids are mean, but there are others who are kind, compassionate and caring. Having even one friend can be a help.
* Keep posting here. There are others here who have gone through something similar.

This is a difficult situation. You have the strength to see this through as long as you understand you don't need to be a victim.

Thank you for the help, I feel really supported.
I shall try that.
I've told my new therapist now and she says she will write a strongly worded letter to my school.
You are all so helpful and supportive, I wish I had got an account on here earlier (I've known and come to this site often over the past few years because it is reassuring to know there are other people like me but I don't know why I didn't get an account. I think I didn't want to be annoying and whingey.)