It's kind of complicated so please bear with me.
My wife and I separated in January 99. When we talked about divorce, I agreed to give her half my military retirement and to help with the house payments.
I've been divorced for 3 years now I stood by my agreement even though there's nothing on paper. I have been claiming the half of my retirement she gets as alimony. Apparently she hasn't claimed it and the IRS isn't interested in our verbal agreement. So they had me pay an additional $1800 for 2004 and then this year they got me for an additional $2000 and I expect to have to go through this every year until it's resolved.

I notified her I was going to have the divorce decree amended to divide my retirement in half so I could get the pay facilty to process us separately.

I also told her she needed to buy me out. I said I'd waive any claim to the equity so she could use that to buy me out. I also gave her a year to arrange it. After that, I plan on keeping my half of my retirement check.

I'm not getting any younger and these financial set backs make me push my surgery date farther out all the time. My lawyer says that if we are going to court, I have to put up a $7500 retainer.

So back to my original question. Am I being unfair?  I'd really like to hear your opinions.

Karen Lyn

No.  You are not being unfair.

Allowing sale of the residence and giving her the equity as help to buy you out is beyond generous. 

I take it that the state in which you live provides for sharing of military retirement but you shouldn't have to pay for the privilege of splitting the annuity in terms of IRS penalties and prepayments.  If it was me I would gather all of my tax returns since the separation, every check made payable to her, and see a good tax accountant.  Your cancelled checks are proof of payment and might be as good as a form 1099.  See the accountant and save your hide.

Get all of the legal stuff done and tell your lawyer that you don't feel that a retainer of $7,500 is fair, that is, unless your lawyer charges $750 an hour.  Cover yourself because if you don't you'll get skinned alive.

Eliminate luck by making a plan.

Wing Walker
Flew Over That Mess Myself

Hindsight being 20/20, I should have taken care of all of this at the time of the divorce. And since I used direct deposit, I don't even have cancelled checks to work with. On the other hand, once I was aware she wasn't paying her taxes, I started doing paper checks. The next time, I'll have something to show the IRS.

Karen Lyn

Quote from: KarenLyn on November 04, 2007, 08:05:25 PM
Hindsight being 20/20, I should have taken care of all of this at the time of the divorce. And since I used direct deposit, I don't even have cancelled checks to work with. On the other hand, once I was aware she wasn't paying her taxes, I started doing paper checks. The next time, I'll have something to show the IRS.

Karen Lyn

Your bank statements should show the  regular direct debit/tranfers to her account. Does your state provide a free family mediation service where you could agree on a writen separation agreement?
If possible avoid to involve lawyers because the more they can complicate the process the more they can charge you.

LLL&R

Maebh

The IRS doesn't care that she got the money. I gave them all the account information. The divorce decree has to be amended first.
And the military pay facility has specific requirements. Once again, it will take an amendment to the divorce decree.

Karen Lyn

It will take an amended final judgment of divorce and a sharp, trustworthy tax accountant to keep you from further financial harm.  If you live in the Washington, DC region I can suggest one.

I strongly urge you to get moving because every minute costs you money that you might not need to pay.

Benevolence has no place in a divorce.  A divorce is the dissolution of a contract, nothing more, nothing less.  In a court action one needs to have a strictly business, dollars and cents attitude.  Anything else can ruin you emotionally and financially.

Wing Walker

Hi Karen Lyn
I never been through such a financial mess, well except when my ex wife got the gold mine and I got the shaft, you know where the sun don't shine. But that was a lot of years ago. All I can say my friend is May God Bless.

Cindy