So I had some friends over tonight for chicken wings and beers. We had a great time with them. I am NOT out to them yet...my wife and I are expecting a baby (this is super awesome news that we shared with our friends a few weeks ago) my wife is so cool with my transition. She says she can get her head around it it'll take time..lucky for us, I have chosen to move slowly through this process from FTM. Now our friends asked us how we will be called by our child, such as "who will be mummy?" And "who is mumma?".....my wife said "I think Lindsay would like to be called dad more".....it was completely innocent for my wife to say, but I was put on the spot and kind of "ahhh hahahaaa'd"  it along...maybe it was a missed opportunity to come out to them. We had just dropped a huge bombshell on them when we announced our pregnancy!

So my friends all leave our house filled with wings and beers...my wife says to me.."I think it would be strange if you had a mans body and a vagina"...please pardon her ignorance as she has a lot to learn and I do too.

Now my plans are to get top surgery and also have lower surgery too. But these things take time and all sorts of procedures. I am thinking I'll get a phalloplasty with urethral hook up down the road.

I've looked at TransBucket and there are some nice looking phalloses on there.

I want my wife to be honest with me and I'm glad that she is. I also told her that I don't jump into a machine and walk out with a mans body and a penis. These take time. She laughed at me when I said that. I feel like the hardest part will be the transition...if that makes any sense

Help a brother out please

Transition is a huge change, and even if people think they are prepared, there is always that one bit that they aren't ready for.

Even though your wife's comment was a slip up, I think you need to set some boundries as to when and how much should be told. It effects both of you, but you will be the one having the surgeries. You are both coming at the transition from two directions. That means each person is dealing with different issues. It can be a difficult time and the better the communication and more you prepare for together, the easier the process will be.

Congratulations by the way! I'm sure you will enjoy being a father.

sam1234

First and foremost congrats man. I myself started transitioning at the same time my child was conceived. The pregnancy and your transition will probably be overwhelming for the both of you and challenging. This is the time where you both need to have clear communication with one another. You need to tell her everything you're feeling and also educate her as much as possible so she'll understand and can help you more. This will be the time where you'll find out who's really your friends and family and who really loves and respects you. She's your partner and you shouldn't hold anything back. And as being a partner to someone who was pregnant let me tell you first hand she will need you as well more than ever. She needs to feel she can depend on you and that you listen to her every needs. You both need to be able to trust one another. Having a child is a life changing experience and challenging at times. It will test your strenths and reveal your weaknesses. Transitioning from FTM is more than just physical but mental as well. This will be the perfect time to show her and others the man you really are by how you handle situations and most importantly supporting your family. Being the rock. Point of the matter you guys will need each other through it all. Be a listening ear to one another. Communication is KEY!

Well, despite the near outing by the wife, I think it will work well down the road when  you do come out! (Basically, they will be less surprised and likely more supportive.) Also, despite the "weird" comment, that also sounds pretty positive to me, since it sounds like she loves YOU and not simply the female body you are currently stuck with.

All in all, it might leave questions, but sounds like positive events! YAY!

Congratulations!  This is going to be a very exciting time for you and your family.  I hit the wall of gender dysphoria, myself, when my wife was pregnant with our second child, and came out a couple months after he was born.  My wife did have trouble with it at first, but she's amazingly supportive now, and is more comfortable with it in lots of ways than I am.  She's done more of the "coming out" than I have, honestly, which I gave her complete permission for.  Being closeted isn't really an option for us, so it had to be done. 

Transition is. . . weird.  I've been on T for a month, I'm working on the medical, legal and professional stuff, and I'm out to all our friends and family.  I don't pass as male, but I've started to confuse people, at least.  Our older child still calls me "mama", and I'm OK letting her decide when and if to change that, though it puzzles some of our less trans-aware friends.   It's strange to be occupying this sort of gender no-mans-land-- presenting male to friends and family, female at work, going through a second puberty, doing all the paperwork to get my documentation changed, and trying to keep my personal and professional life mostly on track during all of it!  Exciting stuff, like I said, but a really, really surreal experience.  And it will be like this for a while.

It's awesome that your wife is so supportive, though it does sound like you need to have a long conversation about who in your lives will get told what, and when.  Especially with the pregnancy, which has its own unalterable timeline.  So much in your lives is already going to be changing over the next few years-- having children is glorious chaos.  Trying to do the work of transition during all that is a real challenge.  But you've already got the most important part, which (like Ethedon said) is communication.  As long as you keep talking openly with each other, it's been my experience that the rest of it will work out.