I'm making this on behalf of a MtF Transwoman who's in a pretty bad place at the minute. Her name is Bella and she doesn't have access to Susans but I wanted to make this because I'm really no good when it comes to offering advice.

Might be triggering, not sure.



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Im a trans male to female girl and i keep feeling ->-bleeped-<- about the way I am. I get depressed and want to cut. Lately I haven't been eating properly. if I eat I feel sick so I make myself throw up. I feel like I am messed up.

Im getting stressed out because I can't be myself at home or at work or at college. I feel like I am never going to get an appointment at the gender clinic or ever be able to be myself at home because of how my family can be. I get stressed out when family find my makeup or female clothes that I have...

The best advice I can probably give is for her to start seeing a therapist who specializes in dealing with transgender patients. They could probably help her a lot more than I can from just seeing this little snippet.

It can be a difficult road, but she can make it. Please reassure her that things are going to turn out okay, that she's beautiful, and that she can transition successfully and be happy. And sometimes parents do come around in time, if they aren't initially accepting. I don't know what sort of job she has, so I can't speak to how friendly her work environment might be, but colleges are generally pretty accepting of trans people.

Being transgender is difficult, your friend should speak to a gp or therapist.
They may suggest happy pills for this difficult stage in your friends life, your friend may benefit from having someone attend with them for moral support, she's lucky to have someone willing to be there, you're a good person to be helping.

First things first, if you are wanting to cut, you need help. You might want to see your GP. A lot of the time they won't refer you to a gender clinic until they know you are a little more stable so will sort to help with depression and anxieties first and then you get your referral. Best thing to do is find someone close to you who you can trust and talk to them about it.

I wish you luck in taking steps to being who you really are.

As I stated on another topic no gp or therapist worth their salary should hold up hrt due to the patient suffering depression as this would risk making depression worse not better.
starting hrt helped to ease depression for me and many others

Hi im bella the one that was unable to post this myself. Thanks for the replies.

Hello Bella
Welcome to Susans

Which country are you in? Due to online safety it's not always wise to give away too much geographical info but treatment can change according to location.
Feel free to post any questions you have and we'll try to help, once you've reached a low post count (I don't know what it is) you'll be able to send PM's.
I'm sure one of the mods will pop in to advise you to read the T's & C's of the site so I've saved them the effort

Bella, we're all here for you when you need to reach out. Everything is going to be okay, sweetie. I know things feel really difficult right now, but they will get better. Please try to eat a little something and don't cut your pretty skin, okay? You're going to transition into a beautiful woman. I know it.

Hi Bella,

Welcome to Susan's.

I understand the issues with cutting and purging. You need help to deal with the pain. A gender therapist is an excellent first step.

Transition is a journey that is a slow marathon not a sprint.

So, stating to see the gender therapist is the most difficult part and when you do you will start to feel batter about yourself. The pain inside is you inner self letting you know you need to grow and address your gender.

You will need to eat healthy foods to aid in your transition. Also, get plenty of sleep, do not smoke, use or drink.

We are here for you and when the pain inside gets to where it is unbearable remember you have family  here waiting to help you.