Do any of you get this behavior from others?

Sweetie is having trouble adapting, I understand that. Yesterday morning I was heading out to do the laundry. I couldn't find my reading glasses. When I got back I took off my sweat shirt and they were hanging from the collar of my tee shirt where I had put them when doing dishes. Sweetie came out with, "you've been doing that kind of thing a lot", (no more than usual), " it must be the estrogen, maybe it isn't right for you."

Besides being sexist as hell, this was just hurtful! I'm a much better person than I was when T ruled my life and I've always been forgetful. I know she hates that I'm trans. When I ask her why she says, "it just does, anyway, I don't hate trans people, you're just not one." The denial stage is lasting far too long.

I would attribute something like that to

A) Old Timers Disease

Or, my personal favorite.
B) No longer being super control freak bitch on wheels trying to demand order out of the universe and every aspect of my life so I no longer have to deal with not wanting to deal with being trans because the world is FINALLY working like I know it needs to.

My wife says I am so so much more easy going, happier, and able to have fun now. A Wonderful Improvement. One benefit of my HRT she certainly can enjoy

Quote from: Dee Walker on February 22, 2015, 07:41:45 AM
"anyway, I don't hate trans people, you're just not one."

Oh Lord I heard this exact thing so many times in so many subtle ways before my divorce and from my parents. Its their way of acknowledging the trans people exist while erasing your identity. 

I'd respond by asking them how they "know" that you are not trans. When I did that I had old male behaviors thrown in my face as proof. They could not grasp that I was faking it and those behaviors were only a very good performance by me.

As far as your sweetie goes - it's hard to discern exactly what she hopes to achieve by saying things like that, but I'd say its not a positive thing.

Perhaps taking her to one of your therapy sessions might help her understand?

Next time she does something stooooopid say exactly the same thing back to her...watch the fireworks!

That's unfortunate, sorry... though when I saw the subject line I was expecting something else. I just started hormones and find it's hard not to attribute every funny feeling or itch to their effects. But that's very different, especially beyond a once in a while good-natured poke from someone who is supportive.

Just wanted to say that next time you should ask her if her Estrogen makes her forgetful, that'll make her think. I hope it gets better for you.

who im sorry hun. sounds rough. only you can know if you are trans. she has no idea what you are feeling.

Quote from: Sunderland on February 22, 2015, 11:59:42 AM
Perhaps taking her to one of your therapy sessions might help her understand?

I'm not currently in therapy. I have no insurance and can't afford it, and, anyway, my therapist says I'm one of the most stable people she knows. I'll go back when I can afford it.

Sweetie went with me once, that was actually where I came out to her. She refused every subsequent invitation and won't go on her own although I think it will help.

I don't want to give the wrong impression. We're very much in love, but love doesn't cure everything.

I have gotten this pre and post hormones (I take T). Before it was always "oh you must be PMSing" if i was ever sad or angry. Now it's "gee I think the T really went to your head."

I'm just trying to imagine someone saying to a grouchy cancer patient, "Oh it's just the chemo talking." Yeahh... not funny.

Quote from: Ms Grace on February 22, 2015, 12:39:18 PM
Next time she does something stooooopid say exactly the same thing back to her...watch the fireworks!

I want to die in my sleep but not like that!

Sounds a bit like something I went through for a bit. When the missus and I first got together, I was a pack-a-day smoker. On top of that, I have chronic sinus problems. I cough and sneeze and sniffle year-round. I kept hearing, "You know, you wouldn't cough if you'd stop smoking..."

Welp, proved her wrong. Cut smokes out completely and I still hack and hork like a dying car.