I have a lot a of respect for Kim Petras, but whenever I see something related to her I can't help myself from feeling jealous and regretful. As she started hormones at 12 and got GCS at 16, it's hard for me not to feel jealous and not to feel regretful that I hadn't started at a younger age.
Is this normal across the board or just me?

Quote from: ChloëAri on February 23, 2015, 10:45:26 AM
I have a lot a of respect for Kim Petras, but whenever I see something related to her I can't help myself from feeling jealous and regretful. As she started hormones at 12 and got GCS at 16, it's hard for me not to feel jealous and not to feel regretful that I hadn't started at a younger age.
Is this normal across the board or just me?

Pretty much every trans woman I've ever come across who transitioned regrets not having done it sooner.

Even though I suffer from that same affliction, I think it's an illusion. Our lives are what made us who we are today. We're beautiful, special people, and we would not be the same beautiful special people if our pasts have been different.

I try, amid my jealousy and regret, to treasure the life I've been given, because it is my own.

I hope this helps.

Do I wish that I'd have transitioned sooner? If I'd known about it 40 years ago, yes of course.

Do I regret not being able to? No, because the past is just that, the past, and no amount of regret will give me a "do-over." I accept what happened, healing when necessary, and move on.

Quote from: ChloëAri on February 23, 2015, 10:45:26 AM
I have a lot a of respect for Kim Petras, but whenever I see something related to her I can't help myself from feeling jealous and regretful. As she started hormones at 12 and got GCS at 16, it's hard for me not to feel jealous and not to feel regretful that I hadn't started at a younger age.
Is this normal across the board or just me?

Hey Chloë,

As Suzi said, you're definitely not alone.  I was listening to a famous psychiatrist the other day on the radio, can't remember his name right now,  and he said his biggest successes were when he could stop people from lamenting the past so much and get them living in the now.  It's definitely not easy thing to do but it makes so much sense. Unless you have a time machine, there's absolutely nothing you can do about the past.  Worrying about the past basically just wastes your time and energy.

With that said, am I jealous, yes very much so and regret many decisions I made earlier in my life,  But I would bet you that 99% of people on this planet regret things they didn't do when they were young. 

Also remember there are an enormous number of cisgender women and men who are jealous of the looks of others.

For now I just want to be the best me I can be and live in the now, and look forward to the future.

Take care,
Paige

P.S.  I think I wrote that to convince myself as much as you. ;-)

I agree with every post...somehow, someway, you have to put the blinders on and march forward without looking in the rearview window. Look in that window you see regret. Look forward, you see optimism, hope, happiness.

I do get amazed at much I don't look back.  But that's only because I'm a HUGE worrier and I used to look back in anger all the time.  I still wish I hadn't given up transitioning in college, but for a long time, I thought that had been my only shot.  Now I know it's not.  Regret is totally normal.  The trick is not letting it stop you from looking forward.

Quote from: ChloëAri on February 23, 2015, 10:45:26 AM
I have a lot a of respect for Kim Petras, but whenever I see something related to her I can't help myself from feeling jealous and regretful. As she started hormones at 12 and got GCS at 16, it's hard for me not to feel jealous and not to feel regretful that I hadn't started at a younger age.
Is this normal across the board or just me?

Same here.

Yes, wishing you started earlier is normal. I had a really tough time with this early in my transition.

As others have said, it's best not to focus too much on the past - it can really drag you down.

Quote from: Eveline on March 09, 2015, 08:04:05 AM
Yes, wishing you started earlier is normal. I had a really tough time with this early in my transition.

As others have said, it's best not to focus too much on the past - it can really drag you down.

You're so right Eveline. Living with regret and always thinking "if only I could of, should have, would have", will deter you from reaching your goals.
I rememebr when I started living full time in 2008 at age 43, I put the blinders on and forged ahead with a plan. I never once looked back.

I must admit to jealousy. How it must be to have a feminine voice without having to fake it, and so much more. But, and it's a big but unlike my stubbornly small butt, had that happened then today I would not have my wonderful wife, son and daughter and so many precious memories.

I think it would be rarer, and perhaps even curious for those of us who transitioned as adults to not wonder how our lives might have been different.

I wonder too, and regret comes at times, but I just remind myself that I cannot change the past so the only alternative is forward.

Quote from: suzifrommd on February 23, 2015, 10:53:20 AM
Pretty much every trans woman I've ever come across who transitioned regrets not having done it sooner.

Even though I suffer from that same affliction, I think it's an illusion. Our lives are what made us who we are today. We're beautiful, special people, and we would not be the same beautiful special people if our pasts have been different.

I try, amid my jealousy and regret, to treasure the life I've been given, because it is my own.

I hope this helps.

In my case even if my parent cooperated, there were limited resources for transitioning. Now it's a lot better though.