I think it's time to get those thinking caps on and... GO!!! 

Hugs

I'm thinking about thinking about thinking about recursion and how you need to first understand recursion to understand recursion

Someone or something is giving a guy I know some ideas about my past. He said something to someone (not knowing I would hear it) about not seeing me as "any less of a man."I don't think he plans on asking for details, he seems to be waiting for me to open up to him.  And while I appreciate that, if he is being honest, he doesn't see me as less of a man... I'm not happy with the fact that he seems to be catching on. I feel like someone who knows us both mutually let something slip. I'm kind of beating myself up honestly...I know he saw my bra strap a while back, so I'm beating myself up for not being more cautious about that. I also feel like telling that girl that might have let something slip was a mistake. I told her because I had ulterior motives of getting in her pants, and I wanted to be forthright about my issue. But she never reciprocated my feelings, so telling her served zero purpose - I feel like I should have scoped her out more carefully. Had I gotten to know her better, I'd know she isn't the best at keeping confidential stuff confidential.

What scares me is that my transition is an extremely sensitive spot for me. The fear of being outed, or actually being outed, has triggered some very serious mental health relapses for me. Can I just say what I want to do? I want to quit my job, block everyone that I've met in the last 6 months from my cellphone, and never speak to any of them again. Maybe break a bunch of ->-bleeped-<- in my bedroom. Start fresh. But that would be really bad for me too, to be isolated. 

I'm so so stupid for not being more guarded, and for getting too comfortable. And I'm so stupid for trusting that woman so quickly. She has only good intentions and it isn't out of malice, but she just sucks at keeping things to herself. Maybe it wasn't her though, he could have heard it from other places if he went digging deep enough. *sigh*

I wish I could finally get over this damn social anxiety buisness and go be me. Instead of spending yet another night, a Saturday at that, all by my lonesome. Thank goodness for the internet. This modern world of ours sure makes being an introvert easier on the soul.

One of these days that little show off loudmouth I was as a kid is gonna come bursting out the doors. When that happens, look out world!

i'm thinking about how life would be a lot more fascinating if there was background music, like in the movies.

Just woke from a series of pretty awful dreams. Hope you are all safe and well. *hugs*

Talked to my sister, found out she is seriously thinking about moving to Queensland next year.

Now that she's mentioned it, I'm seriously thinking about moving up there also. It is where most of our family is

Currently thinking about where to go with my life and what do I want out of it. Pondering my true gender as well.

Quote from: antonia on February 21, 2015, 04:29:15 PM
I'm thinking about thinking about thinking about recursion and how you need to first understand recursion to understand recursion

I think I prefer doing things iteratively instead of recursively

You are so serial in your nature, get with the parallel crowd, just be sure not to get mixed up with the multi-threading people, they have deadlocks and race conditions.

Quote from: Anna++ on February 23, 2015, 05:39:52 PM
I think I prefer doing things iteratively instead of recursively

I like cheese. 

Quote from: antonia on February 23, 2015, 07:53:00 PM
You are so serial in your nature, get with the parallel crowd, just be sure not to get mixed up with the multi-threading people, they have deadlocks and race conditions.

I'm a Linux kernel maintainer, so I've already moved into multi-threading land...

Quote from: Jill F on February 23, 2015, 07:55:02 PM
I like cheese. 

I'll have a cheddar ready next week

You know you are not supposed to say that out-loud, you might get swarmed with geeks wanting to date you.

Quote from: Anna++ on February 23, 2015, 08:03:54 PM
I'm a Linux kernel maintainer, so I've already moved into multi-threading land...

Quote from: antonia on February 23, 2015, 08:22:08 PM
You know you are not supposed to say that out-loud, you might get swarmed with geeks wanting to date you.

Too bad that I'm already seeing somebody

But you don't have to warn me... This creepy guy kept following me around at LinuxCon last August.  I later heard other people complain that he got antagonistic during a presentation he attended.

i'm thinking about sleep...

I had an interesting experience at PyCon last year, no wonder most of the girls dress down to t-shirts and baggy pants.

Quote from: Anna++ on February 23, 2015, 08:34:48 PM
Too bad that I'm already seeing somebody

But you don't have to warn me... This creepy guy kept following me around at LinuxCon last August.  I later heard other people complain that he got antagonistic during a presentation he attended.

Quote from: antonia on February 23, 2015, 08:41:05 PM
I had an interesting experience at PyCon last year, no wonder most of the girls dress down to t-shirts and baggy pants.

Maybe!  But to be fair, I usually wear t-shirts (even when I'm not at conferences)...


I just investigated a weird sound in my bathroom.  I wonder how long I've been sharing a toothbrush with my cat...?

Quote from: Anna++ on February 23, 2015, 08:03:54 PM
I'll have a cheddar ready next week

I could so make nachos.  Blessed are the cheesemakers!

Quote from: Jill F on February 23, 2015, 09:09:24 PM
I could so make nachos.  Blessed are the cheesemakers!

I am currently eating nachos lol

Quote from: Jill F on February 23, 2015, 09:09:24 PMBlessed are the cheesemakers!

"Life of Brian" refference?

Also, I miss eating cheese...