This really came as a shock to me. I learned that my dad's old son had grown up to be a woman and I think it's cool. Maybe even slight hint of jealousy.
I'm good at being a guy, I'm into things like how computers work all guy stuff. I love women. But part of me wants this.

I know that I am definitely not transsexual, but I even have these thoughts to the point where i needed to publish them here. There must be some room on the spectrum for me. Crossdress is not cutting it, I want the most equivocal impression of the female mind, and particularly the body. 

I am trying to be more rational and recognize that is only an occasional fantasy. How do i deal with it?

Lol! And thats exactly what I told myself too for 44 years.

Quote from: redhot1 on March 01, 2015, 12:02:43 AM
This really came as a shock to me. I learned that my dad's old son had grown up to be a woman and I think it's cool. Maybe even slight hint of jealousy.
I'm good at being a guy, I'm into things like how computers work all guy stuff. I love women. But part of me wants this.

I know that I am definitely not transsexual, but I even have these thoughts to the point where i needed to publish them here. There must be some room on the spectrum for me. Crossdress is not cutting it, I want the most equivocal impression of the female mind, and particularly the body. 

I am trying to be more rational and recognize that is only an occasional fantasy. How do i deal with it?

I've been there.

For me, I fought self-identification as a trans woman even as the other half of my brain made transition plans. I'm really glad I did. For me, living as a woman is awesome.

There are people in the non-binary section who are looking for a way to exist with their identity without fully transitioning. Also, I suggest listening to your heart. It will often know the right direction to go.

Keep posting. A lot of people here have been where you are.

That's what I told myself, too! I actually backed out of transitioning once, because I said I'd have no idea what to do with myself as a girl. Now I wouldn't know what to do with myself as a boy!

You're in good company.

Yeah I didn't want to be trans for a while but eventually it got the better of me.

Seek out a good therapist and maybe you can find where you want and need to be.

Quote from: redhot1 on March 01, 2015, 12:02:43 AM
I know that I am definitely not transsexual, but

How do you know that?

If you're saying that because you didn't want to be a girl since you were 4 years old as per standard trans narrative, there's a lot of transgender people like that. What you're saying is not that different to myself at one time, and if you'd have asked me if I were transgender when I was 40, I would have said of course not.

I wouldn't read too much into the guy stuff like computers - it almost seems to be a positive sign of being transgender. There seems to be an unusual number people here who are highly skilled in these manly pursuits.

As you said, somewhere on the spectrum. There's room there for you. The question is more if you're happy where you are, and if it changes. A very common story is its gets worse over time. My story too.

I'd suggest you go back though the older posts in the forums and see what you can learn. There's plenty here. If it starts to be a problem see a gender therapist. Don't let it get to a point where it causes you serious problems, again like so many people.