Hey Zoe, please be careful and don't try to harm yourself... Things are manageable, I am a lot older ( very much that is) and have learnt and been managing my Dysphoria and Desperations for many years now, even had a really bad spell at the end of last week... But I weeped ( a lot) and paced, and thought about how life sux, but then I looked at nature, sun, clouds and suddenly thought... It's a wonderful place and I can battle through!
Dried my eyes, had a drink and life was bearable again.
Please if you get desperate again see a therapist and talk to us here on the forum... Lots and lots of us have been there
hugs
L Katy