It's common in the trans community, we're jealous of cis people, jealous of post-transition people, and jealous of people who have a body that works better with transitioning. I hate being jealous of other people, I want to feel happy for them, but all that is coming out is jealousy.

So, here's the deal: I'm currently 15 years old, I found out there was a word (transsexual) for what I was feeling immediately after I turned 12, and I came out to my parents during that summer. Point is, I've been out to them for a long time.

I found out I could be trans in 7th grade, and while I kept it a secret from everybody, I planned to come out in 8th grade to everybody. My parents were thankfully supportive, but my dad would NOT let me come out in 8th grade. He thought that I would change my mind or whatever, and we wouldn't allow me to come out until college. I could've done it behind his back, but I was a wimp. Eighth grade was utter hell, being misgendered, going through more puberty, questioning how "supportive" my dad was, etc. By the time the school year ended, I was extremely depressed, and I contemplated taking my own life. I didn't want to wait four more years until I could POSSIBLY get T. I go through hell everyday with dysphoria, and I just couldn't stand it for another four years.

Anyways, another summer went by without me coming out to anyone else (b/c I'm a wimp), and now I'm currently in 9th grade. The wait is killing me, the only thing keeping me alive is the hope of getting T in 3 years...it's just such a long wait, though. I've been waiting three years already, and I couldn't possibly think of waiting three more. I think I'll come out to my school next year, but that completely gets rid of any chance of getting T I had b/c my dad would be mad at me.

Okay, now that you know my whole life's story, let's go back to my point about jealousy. I'm seeing so many minors getting T, top surgery, and even a few with a hysterectomy. I've talked with them, and they've only known they were trans for 2-3 years. I just find it so unfair, why I have to wait for years, while their parents fully support them. I mean, great for them, but I can't shake off all this envy.

whoops, I meant that I found out there was a word in 6th grade but didn't come out to my parents (because I was scared) until the summer before eighth grade

doesn't really matter though...

Hi! I understand your frustrations - sadly it's a very unfair fact of life that we have to deal with things that keep us from our goals and dreams. Why it needs to be that way I have no answer. But keep in mind that there are trans guys who would probably be incredibly jealous of you - you have supportive parents, they haven't disowned you or tried to have you "fixed", chances are you will get your transition sooner rather than later and still at an age much younger than many other guys. You may feel you've got nothing for people to be jealous of but you'd be surprised... it's all about perspective.

My other advice to anyone about any form of jealous is that you have to be jealous of everything - you can't just pick and chose parts of a person's life (cis or trans) to be jealous you have to be jealous of everything about them, even the crappy bits. Read this...

I think the most important thing that we need to remind ourselves is that it could be a lot worse; we could have zero support, lose our jobs or livelihoods, our domiciles, friends and family; we could lose everything. The fact that you're 16 and have parents who support you is a godSend in itself and you're young enough to start your life completely over or build a new one for yourself from nothing.

Your father is asking that you wait because he cares about you. He's wanting to make sure that your decision is a permanent one and not something you'll regret later. When I was your age I dreamed of being a girl; I was repressed and bullied by my father and there was absolutely no way I could have ever came out to him and expected support.

As I grew older and basically broke the mold of masculinity in an attempt to appease other people I earned his respect and showed him that I was better, stronger, and more determined. He's gone now and I miss him dearly, but it doesn't change the fact that I should have had the type of support you do; if I would have had it then my life would have turned out radically different.

This is why there's "jealousy". I compared my situation directly to yours, admitted that I wish I would have had the ability to come out at your age, and ive stated the obvious, that it could be a lot worse as it could have been for me. I believe its not necessary jealousy, but a recognition that it could be better. And it will get better.

Keep your chin up, keep taking steps towards who you want to be, and eventually you'll get there.

These ladies make excellent points, and I too, would say count your blessings.  If I could trade places with you, then I would gladly do that. I'm 23 and haven't transitioned yet, and my father isn't supportive, and I know my mother will not be.  I wish my parents were supportive as yours, even with the stipulations.  In order to deal with the jealousy, I say focus on what you want out of your future transition, and make a plan of how you will get there.  For example, if you know you want top surgery, then start saving up now, even if it is just a little bit.  That way, you're likely to have the money for that procedure by the time you are 18.  Buy men's clothing and cut your hair and present as "butch" if you are able to.....if you're not doing that already.   

Btw you totally look male in your picture (if that is you of course)! 

Grace is spot on.

Jealousy is normal to some extent, but it becomes a problem when it consumes you. I've lost a lot of my family and more potential friends than I will ever have because of who I am. I wish sometimes that I was on speaking terms with family and friends, but I don't envy those who have what I don't. I couldn't come out in high school because at the first inkling my father threatened to send to one of those "pray the gay away" camps. I'm gay but not in the way he thought. I lived in fear of my dad finding out about me until he finally did. I've been told by others that they envy me because my marriage survived and is better than ever, that they wished they could have gotten my degree or live where I do. My friend told me she was jealous because she thinks my life is so easy. I told her I'd trade if she took all my problems with her, like my addict mother or my abusive dad. It may seem like others have it easy, but that's not the case. Everyone is fighting a battle that no one else can see.

You can make what changes you can. Start dressing more comfortably and cut your hair if you haven't. Like Malachite suggested, start saving a little money here and there for things in the future. If you can where are, get a part time job to start working toward those things. Having goals and plans can really help.

I would be concerned that when you get to college age that your dad will want you to wait until you graduate. Between highschool and college is a good time to transition. You could take a gap year, start T and work to pay for top surgery and get that done before you get to college. Its important to share these plans with your parents and research how everything is going to go. You can see a therapist now so that when 12th grade is over with you will have your T letter and top surgery letter and can get a move on with your plans. You can even start T before 12th grade is over since you just don't wake up one day looking like a grizzly bear.

Jealousy is normal. It will go away with time once you get comfortable with yourself. I know it's hard as hell, being dysphoric and trans. If the only way of you getting comfortable with yourself is transitioning, do not give up for a second. I am 19 and all my live I've dreamt of being a man. I'd go to bed at night, and instead of closing my eyes and waiting to fall asleep, I'd lose hours and hours of sleep, dreaming and living in my fantasy world where I was a happy dude who did "boy things" and had the girl of my dreams. I would do that in class, I would do that while I was watching TV, sometimes while I was walking around the house. I'd even catch myself speaking by myself cuz of how lost I was in my world. Dreaming helps! Dreaming really, really helps. It might sound stupid, but dreaming can too be realist. You won't lose touch with reality, quite the contrary: it will help you get to know yourself.

You said you have supportive parents, that is a privilege. Use that to your advantage. Talk to them. Talk to them endlessly. Share all of your insecurities, do not be afraid. Tell them how you feel and express, in all of your ways, how transitioning is important to you. It is definitely a slow process, but maybe you don't have to wait 2-3 years like you said. I could be less. Either way, if it's what you want, it will happen. It might happen sooner than you think.

In the meantime, keep working on your identity. [if you haven't] Pick up a new name for yourself and encourage your parents to use it. Encourage them to use the right pronouns. Encourage the people around you, you relatives, friends, to use your new name and pronouns. When you introduce yourself to someone new, use your new name. That will help you feel more in your skin. Plus! There are some other small things you can do to make you feel like you've already started transition - wearing men underwear, men clothing, letting go of all of the mannerisms you were "agreed upon" [if you have them.]

Just don't give up, dude. It's a long process for all of us. No exceptions. Hold onto the good things you have in life. Even if you find yourself hopeless, try to see a light. Even if it's just a mere light beam.

Best of luck!

You are terribly fortunate that your parents are so supportive. The thing is, it is very difficult to do any medical procedures on minors EVEN if your parents took you in to see the doctors. Some countries are different, but here, it's tough. Fortunately for you, (i sense you are ftm), all the visible traits are easily changed. No one will ever question you if you go through the procedures. Mtf's have a much more difficult time because the sexual development is so severe in puberty.

Cindi