Hmmm sounds a creep, get away and if he troubles you more then seek help.

As mentioned just way to many big red flags... Take care and look after yourself.

Lots of hugs Katy

Just stay safe. Any signs of him getting worse then get to a shelter if it means you will be safe.

Jersey Bluntness Warning  This guy sounds like a manipulative ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- that wants his own trans porn star waiting for him at home every night after work.

While there is a chance since you are still in the right age bracket for raging hormones that there may be more then an AA can keep up with, given the pushing of ED drugs seems like the more likely cause of spontaneous erections. If you are going out having dinner and drinks, spiking one may be easy. It all depends how easy either drug actually dissolves in the liquid.

Decades ago when I gave up my dream of transitioning, for a while I did the next best thing, I dated and had some semi-long term relationships with transwomen. I had some first hand knowledge of how they wanted to be seen and treated. As in like women and not that other phrase. In my very limited experience not a one was comfortable about her dangly bits. All it took was one politely being told "No".

I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. I know he has a temper, he hasn't hit me but he has gotten rough during sex, etc. But to stay safe I have to just go along with things until I can get away. Physically I am a small person, so there is no way I can over power him.  I have to continue like nothing is amiss.  He always claims that he got me the implants for me, but I'm not that naive. Since I got them he's almost dictated what tops I wear, always to show cleavage, for the past four months I've lugged them around.  And about respecting my bits, he never has, he tugs too hard when he does, and he has some perversion about it flopping around. Sorry to dump this all out there I just have no one to talk to this about.

I am a retired Deputy Sheriff. Girl, LEAVE NOW! Do not wait and stay with friends or a battered women's shelter, just get out of there. I hope you listen to my advice before another Deputy is running your homicide or battery call. I am serious, leave now not later. I will beg you to leave if it will help any. I have a spare room you can use rent free if you can get to OKC.

Even if your suspicions about the drugging turn out to be untrue he's not respecting your wishes & boundries, that is wrong.
He's controlling you, leave him.
I've never met Jessica but I trust & respect her, if you have no other options then please seriously consider her offer.
Leave him, even if the only thing you can take are the clothes you are wearing, you deserve better

If you take the things that you need and go to somewhere you feel safe, you can have the luxury of weighing your options and/or deciding what you want to do and who you want to be with.  There are women's shelters you can go to, possibly your parents?  I don't know how isolated you are, but you can always make new friends and find new options for yourself.
You've stated that your boyfriend is controlling and not particularly gentle, but you haven't said whether you want to leave him.  Whether or not you choose to do so, you can make that decision when you are in a place where you feel safe.
None of us know how much you may or may not depend on him.  We don't know all the things you have experienced with him or want to.  We don't know if he is redeemable, or a selfish jerk.  We don't know how well or poorly you two communicate.  These are all things you have to figure out and come to terms with, outside of anyone else's influence.
It's easy for us to jump to conclusions because we don't have a full picture.  It's easy for us to say what you should do because we don't have to be in your shoes.  No one deserves to be mistreated, but you can stand up for yourself and reclaim your self-esteem.  This is your life, you have to assert yourself to get what you want.  You have options, and the power to choose.

What do YOU want?


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

i think Obfuskatie and th others said it a lot better than i can, but firstly you seem like a very intelligent and decent person, and 2nd this guy sounds like a psycho creep.
You deserve a LOT better!

Ok. So I'm on way back to my hometown.  I got a bus ticket for cheap.  I left him a note and asked him not to contact me.  I've already changed my number.  I got like a 2 day bus ride but I'll have my phone and Internet access. It kind of came to a head earlier today because again I got an erection at work of all places. I went to the bathroom and was in there for like 45 minutes just willing it to go down. So when I got home I searched the place and found a lot of cialis. So he was just planning on keeping me on the stuff. So I packed a bag and took a cab down to the bus station. I'm here for another few hours till the bus takes off.  Thanks for the advice.

Oh, Natalie I'm so sorry that happened! What an absolute monster!! I hope you have stay safe and I'm glad you got out of that! <3 Hugs and blessings!!

Good for you, Natalie!   What he did to you was criminal.  I hope you never have to deal with him nor anyone else like that ever again.

Be safe and hugs,
Jill

You're a strong woman to have taken that step. Big hugs

He will more than likely try to contact you regardless of your wishes, stand firm in your belief that you're doing the right thing.
Tell whoever you're staying with that you do not want to speak to him & ask them to help keep an eye out should he try to track you down.
If he does approach you then tell him firmly that it is over & he is not to come near you, do not hesitate to call the police if he doesn't take the warning to stay away.
He's obviously been trying to control you & he may try to play on your emotions to get you back, please don't go back under any circumstance

Big hugs from me & an even bigger hug from my Poopie

I'm so happy for you, Natalie!

Do you think he knows where your hometown is?

Quote from: natalie19 on March 05, 2015, 06:18:49 PM
Ok. So I'm on way back to my hometown.  I got a bus ticket for cheap.  I left him a note and asked him not to contact me.  I've already changed my number.  I got like a 2 day bus ride but I'll have my phone and Internet access. It kind of came to a head earlier today because again I got an erection at work of all places. I went to the bathroom and was in there for like 45 minutes just willing it to go down. So when I got home I searched the place and found a lot of cialis. So he was just planning on keeping me on the stuff. So I packed a bag and took a cab down to the bus station. I'm here for another few hours till the bus takes off.  Thanks for the advice.

Thats what im talking about! Good for you love!! 

I'm so glad you got out of there! Please let us know how things are going -- I hope the bus ride goes OK! Hugs!

Almost home another 12 hours on this bus.

Quote from: natalie19 on March 06, 2015, 10:01:37 AM
Almost home another 12 hours on this bus.

The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round,
'round and 'round
'round and 'round
The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round
all through the town!

(A bit of singing to lighten the mood...stay safe!)

Thanks for letting us know .

Leave him. Before it's too late.

Good decision Natalie...

Hugs

Katy