****TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal ideation, suicide.  ****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6iDc2N0YPA&feature=youtu.be



brief description, SPOILERS.

its a story about a transgender kid named jessie and how the definition of what a man is cuses him to take his life. You travel through his child hood from his veiwpoint and at 13 he jumps off  a building in NYC. Its more of a movement than anything. if you can handle the story it talks about what society veiws as defining a man, and how i view it, with some stats about trans youth, and things like that. If you cant manage to watch the video it would mean the world to me if you could just make a post or status on whatever social media you choose, or here even, under the hashtag, WhatMakesaMan and just tell me your definition.


excuse, if you saw, my mild mental breakdown. i really dont feel like explaining myself, as i have no excuse, im a walking trainwreck.. so pardon me, if you saw.

You need to give a forum more than three hours.....I'm going to take a look at the video.  People might be more willing to look if you let them know what sort of trap they're walking into? Triggers are best avoided, after all.

Hugs, Devlyn

I think your trigger warning should mention suicidal ideation/description of suicide, to be honest. You might ask a moderator what they think?

Hugs, Devlyn

yeah im sorry. Today was not the best day to even talk to anyone, im a little



yeah.

ill edit it.


sorry..

There's nothing to apologize about. I've made threads that don't get views or replies, I know what you're feeling. Does the video resonate with you, is that why you shared it?

Hugs, Devlyn

i wrote it, thats me in the video....

i guess its just upsetting because i spent three hours pouring my heart out and crying about it.

but thats basically everyday with bi-polar so i guess i should get used to it, today was just an emotional day.

But at least something good came out of it:)

I started watching when you first posted the link but it was triggering for me so I had to pause it. I planned on finishing it later though so I'll leave a better reply once I have.

Quote from: Orangaline on March 08, 2015, 08:40:03 PM
i wrote it, thats me in the video....

i guess its just upsetting because i spent three hours pouring my heart out and crying about it.

but thats basically everyday with bi-polar so i guess i should get used to it, today was just an emotional day.

But at least something good came out of it:)

I had no idea that was you. You certainly did pour your heart into it.  This isn't an easy journey, that's why transgender people are the toughest motherlovers you'll ever meet. Stay strong!

Hugs, Devlyn

Hey man, just wanted to say that this is a great piece. What makes a man? I wish I had an answer.

Good work-- and brave work. It's hard enough to watch and think about that I suspect you may not get a huge volume of response.  But I think those people at watch it will appreciate it, even if they don't all respond.

And, what makes a man?  Only answer I have is that a man makes himself.  Sounds like an evasion but, to me, it's not.  Gender identity is core; you know what you are, and that's really the only thing that matters. Anatomy, genetics, and hormones are related to gender identity, but not the reason for it-- correlation isn't causality.  Social gender roles are about control and conformity.  Yes, some people find meaning and joy in enacting their gender in a traditional way.  I respect that, even if I don't really get it.  But once you step off that path, and start asking the questions instead of taking the answers for granted, you're writing your own story. Each of us has to define what being a man-- or woman-- means to us.

For me, it's looking life in the face and not flinching, seeking the truth and speaking it, using the gifts I have to help and protect others, caring for my family, loving fearlessly, finding and making beauty and joy, and doing my best every day until I'm done.  That's who I've always been and, for me, it's being a man.  I appreciate seeing other people's answers, and I love it that everybody's answer is different.  To me, gender is a Mystery, something that is understood only by experiencing it, something that words can only approximate, but not really explain.   

Your video is a really well done piece.  Well written, well thought out, and well presented.  You've made meaning from your suffering, and turned it into something that can move other people towards understanding.  That's no small thing. 

Very well done. Thank you for sharing and being a brave face for all the boys and girls and women and men who need it when they can't do it for themselves.

First off DMAB but of course questioning that myself. Awesome video it really shows your heart and tbh had thoughts like that as well just different call it timing. Repressed a lot when I was a kid due to bullying for nothing gender related either and now in my 40's. But enough about me that was a great way to make people think myself included. Well ok think I have thought similar looking back what made me me.

What I think societies view as what makes a man a man. To be caring to wife and children but in the next moment not give a damn about the next person or at least not show you care. To prove you are strong by having either muscles or money. My take on that is none of the above maybe because I am not really a man and truthfully cant say I can say what makes a man or woman other then a sense of self and what they feel fits them best.

My apology if this isn't right since I don't know what is right anymore either as far as the question asked.

Thank you for all the responses.

Quote from: Bran on March 09, 2015, 02:26:50 AM
Good work-- and brave work. It's hard enough to watch and think about that I suspect you may not get a huge volume of response.  But I think those people at watch it will appreciate it, even if they don't all respond.


Yeah, see i have this bad habit of trying to spark a social movement whenever the thought fancies me XD

And, what makes a man?  Only answer I have is that a man makes himself.  Sounds like an evasion but, to me, it's not.  Gender identity is core; you know what you are, and that's really the only thing that matters. Anatomy, genetics, and hormones are related to gender identity, but not the reason for it-- correlation isn't causality.  Social gender roles are about control and conformity.  Yes, some people find meaning and joy in enacting their gender in a traditional way.  I respect that, even if I don't really get it.  But once you step off that path, and start asking the questions instead of taking the answers for granted, you're writing your own story. Each of us has to define what being a man-- or woman-- means to us.

For me, it's looking life in the face and not flinching, seeking the truth and speaking it, using the gifts I have to help and protect others, caring for my family, loving fearlessly, finding and making beauty and joy, and doing my best every day until I'm done.  That's who I've always been and, for me, it's being a man.  I appreciate seeing other people's answers, and I love it that everybody's answer is different.  To me, gender is a Mystery, something that is understood only by experiencing it, something that words can only approximate, but not really explain.   

Your video is a really well done piece.  Well written, well thought out, and well presented.  You've made meaning from your suffering, and turned it into something that can move other people towards understanding.  That's no small thing. 

Quote from: Jen72 on March 09, 2015, 06:49:00 AM
First off DMAB but of course questioning that myself. Awesome video it really shows your heart and tbh had thoughts like that as well just different call it timing. Repressed a lot when I was a kid due to bullying for nothing gender related either and now in my 40's. But enough about me that was a great way to make people think myself included. Well ok think I have thought similar looking back what made me me.

What I think societies view as what makes a man a man. To be caring to wife and children but in the next moment not give a damn about the next person or at least not show you care. To prove you are strong by having either muscles or money. My take on that is none of the above maybe because I am not really a man and truthfully cant say I can say what makes a man or woman other then a sense of self and what they feel fits them best.

My apology if this isn't right since I don't know what is right anymore either as far as the question asked.

theres no wrong answers:) the whole point was to just get people thinking about it, and talking about the really screwed up gendr roles and expectancies in our society.

Allow me to take a stab at this haunting question with loosely linked thoughts I've had for a while:

#WhatMakesaMan
A three-letter word that may or may not describe part of a person's identity. What makes a man? Nature, and the English language. Are we confined to such a small word? A man can be a father, a son, a brother, an uncle, a grandfather, a nephew, a kindred soul you pass by on the streets. It should be disregarded as just another word and yet it holds such importance in our society. What makes a man? The veil of masculinity some of us don and hope doesn't get destroyed, because it is so easy to take our masculinity away sometimes. But being a man is something intrinsic, how do you ever check off that box? It's also another word that seems to grant you the acceptance into adulthood. Maturity, responsibility, confidence, independence. The word "man" should be interchangeable with "adult," where it just represents a binary system of male and female instead. However, being a man is so much more. As we walk out the door each day to face the world, with our masculinity tattooed into our hearts, no one can take that part of our identity away. What makes a man? No matter what we do, being a man is something rooted deep within us that we just seem to get rid of. Perhaps it is the final sigh of acceptance to ourselves, that says, "yes, I am." What makes a man? You do.