So. I am finally divorced. Got the house car. But ex wife is wanting to move 350 km away to be nearer her friends and family and wanting to take the kids.
She says , because we live in a small town, the gossip will harm the kids. OK i can understand that. But when I asked about visitation. She more less made it clear that I will never see them.
In the summer I asked for 2 weeks with them. The answer was that I would have to visit them at her parents house. But would have to stay in a hotel.
Weekends. I would have to stay in a hotel. I could not collect them and have a long weekend.
Xmas. I could not see them unless I went to her parents house and stayed in a hotel.
This would make it almost impossible because hotels are not cheap.
She calls me nasty names that hurt. I don't show it to her face, so not the to give her the satisfaction. Things like: I'm not a man or a woman. I am an animal.
No one would believe me because she is their mum. And that I am mentally ill.
I'm ugly. I look stupid in women's trousers and that I should wear dresses with flowers.
I am a ->-bleeped-<-got but can't admit it....etc etc etc.
I am at that point where I just think sod it. I can't live without my kids. And I can't live as a man, what's the point. She twists and manipulate everything. And the law would look more favourably on her and not me.
I cry when the kids are not around me. And I am not getting much sleep.
My relationship with another man fell though because he had problems accepting me.
This sucks so bad.

Hugs. Your ex wife sounds like a rather nasty, bitter and vindictive person.  She may be upset at you but there's no need to behave like that. Surely there is some legal recourse to gaining visitation rights? Don't just presume the courts will automatically take her side, you just need a good lawyer (if you can afford one I suppose)

I need to just add this.
My son is 6. And he has said he does not want to live with his mum. He has his friends here and likes me more than his mum.
My daughter is almost 3 , but prefers me more than her mum.
She shouts at them all the time. My son is afraid of her. But when she's around he says things to please her most of the time. But then when he does say something in favour of me. She gets angry and just says he is saying to please me.

Can't afford a good lawyer. And in the mean time she continues to make life hell.
The most I can do is not sign paperwork that permits her to leave the area with my kids without my permission. But her family are known for using violence, and so far they have kept away, however that can change.

Quote from: bv5913 on January 03, 2015, 07:20:24 AM
Can't afford a good lawyer. And in the mean time she continues to make life hell.
The most I can do is not sign paperwork that permits her to leave the area with my kids without my permission. But her family are known for using violence, and so far they have kept away, however that can change.

There are organizations in my area that give free legal advice to people who can't afford it. There are also places that give grants for legal aid. Many of them are LGBT friendly.

There may be similar places in your area. Please find them.

If you can't, please fight this yourself. For your kids' sakes. They deserve to have you in their life.

If you ultimately fail to get visitation, send them letters, texts, emails, whatever you can to let them know you're thinking of them. Keep the door open.

And keep posting. Many, many people here have been through this and will be a source of help and support.

Hugs, BV. This is painful, but you are strong - strong enough to stand up to whatever life throws your way.

Hugs to you bv... I have kids myself and I cannot imagine my life without them.

Hope you can get it all sorted.

(It sounds like you are in the UK?)

And... ahem... dress with flowers?
<----- I love dresses with flowers...

But I wear women's trousers too. The only thing is when I hear the word "trousers" it reminds me of Jeremy Clarkson using the word "sausage."

OK just something I thought I'd say to make you laugh.

Lol yes that did make me laugh. Especially as i am a Clarkson fan as well.
I wish i was still in the UK. But moved to sweden 13 Years ago.

I have no experience with Sweden, but for your kid's sake, look around for someone who might be able to help.  Are there social service offices you could visit?  I know not all European countries are as accepting of transgender folk but I feel like there are laws you could use to help in your situation.  I am super sorry to hear that you and your kids are unhappy and maybe there is a transgender group that is somewhat local you could reach out to for help?  I feel like I read about some events there recently, perhaps there are activists you could get in touch with that could assist?  Many hugs and best wishes!

Sad the kids are used as pawns in the continuation of hate bigotry. 

I am sorry just you need to find legal help somehow. Sigh!

Well I hope I'm not in the same boat as well but I'm fully prepared to lawyer up. My kids love me to pieces.  my wife claims they are "confused." They are not. They know what I'm going through at least in kids terms and they ask if I always want to be a girl. They get it. They will be fine with me. The only one who has a problem is her (and my dad).

bv5913, here's my experience with the ex "moving away with the kids":

After I was divorced from my first wife back in the 80's, she remarried and wanted to move out of state with my daughters - from California all the way to the East Coast of the US.

She had to get my signed permission to do that, and I had an awful time coming to a decision. I finally agreed, trying to think of everyone's best interests, but later I had many, many regrets.

If your wife is already using the children to manipulate you, consider that the only leverage you have is not signing that document. Find free legal aid, come up with a plan, and negotiate hard for what you want. Assert your rights!

In the years to come, you will be glad you asked for the best possible terms...