Rotika you made me think of a instance when I was In college (long time ago) that in a way can be somewhat related to GID. Here goes I btw am not religious in the sense of I am agnostic (believe there might be a god but don't feel there is one) but do feel I am spiritual and yes I know that is weird but here went a convo I had with someone who was very catholic.

religious person: Can you believe there is a god?

My response: Can you belive there is not a god?

Keep repeating that over and over and get no where. I later figured out why and I think it relates to identity too. The reason we believe in x religion because we have faith in it and can you really describe faith. I think to the core you can not nor can you truly describe your identity.

Just my 2 bits on that one:) Sorry for being off topic too.

Quote from: Jen72 on March 09, 2015, 07:02:57 AM
Rotika you made me think of a instance when I was In college (long time ago) that in a way can be somewhat related to GID. Here goes I btw am not religious in the sense of I am agnostic (believe there might be a god but don't feel there is one) but do feel I am spiritual and yes I know that is weird but here went a convo I had with someone who was very catholic.

religious person: Can you believe there is a god?

My response: Can you belive there is not a god?

Keep repeating that over and over and get no where. I later figured out why and I think it relates to identity too. The reason we believe in x religion because we have faith in it and can you really describe faith. I think to the core you can not nor can you truly describe your identity.

Just my 2 bits on that one:) Sorry for being off topic too.

I understand where you're coming from and what you mean.. But I simply cannot agree. I think the ability to describe your own identity comes in many ways. Umm.. idk. Like maturity, experience or age. I'm a 28 year old girl in my head. I have no doubts. I don't need anyone's acceptance but my wife's. I know exactly who I am. Knowing what ppl think I look like... is a dif story. I wanna know if I messed up my makeup or should've worn a blue undershirt instead of a white one under the see-through cheetah print longsleeve lol.. sorry that's the best way I can describe it. But as far as religion. I Don't particularly want to talk about faith. I just believe. I'm happier about it when no one cares about it. So I hope you'll be happier without me talking about it. I respect everyone here. In fact I love you all and just want to get along. If you're Agnostic; I hope you live your life the way you want to and I hope being Agnostic helps you to do that in some way.

I see were you are coming from on faith I was just using it as a general idea in that faith is an aspect of our identity that only ourselves can truly understand much like gender not the same of course but just an aspect. As for gender yes we can portray how we feel with mannerisms and presentation as well as to how we speak but deep down it is only what we feel and think or our heart and soul if you will that is what it is but can not be easily or if at all be totally brought forth with communication via verbal/physical means.

Another way of looking at it is it is faith in one sell I will call it and compared to religion and gender is do we not also portray our religions with certain items. (cross, Punjab, etc.) much in the way some clothes portray our gender (skirt vs pants). But in the end it still comes down to the more complex way of how we are on the inside that isn't so easily put forth.

That was the point I was trying to get across not really saying religion is the same as gender just an aspect that only we only truly know.

As far as my beliefs I wasn't trying to say it was the same just similar as far as what I believe if that makes sense and do not judge others either on whatever they believe either. Was just an example of how something the way we feel/believe is not always conveyable by physical means. However after all that yes to some degree it is such as like you said your choice of clothing or makeup etc. Its that some degree part:)

Lastly sorry for being off topic and long winded hard to describe the indescribable.

this is, unfortunately, from one of the older girls in my local trans group:

"one thing i have wondered is if the only way for a MTF to be straight wouldn't they have to be only attracted to FTM. think about it with use MTF's mind is female and body is changing to female from male so as to be straight wouldn't we have to go for the opposite of our-selves?"

not only would it not be politic to try to correct her, but I wouldn't even know where to begin tackling this level of wrong.

A female co-worker: so how are you going to deal with your cycles? "um, I'm not going to have them." She then followed up with: but where will the blood come from? (she's a trainer who's mom was a doctor)


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My boss after discussing my needs: "So do you get a heavy flow now?"  She is so clueless!

Quote from: marikvulpina on March 11, 2015, 12:13:04 AM
this is, unfortunately, from one of the older girls in my local trans group:

"one thing i have wondered is if the only way for a MTF to be straight wouldn't they have to be only attracted to FTM. think about it with use MTF's mind is female and body is changing to female from male so as to be straight wouldn't we have to go for the opposite of our-selves?"

not only would it not be politic to try to correct her, but I wouldn't even know where to begin tackling this level of wrong.

It's almost as though simple labels like "straight" and "gay" are inadequate to capture the complexity of human sexuality!

Quote from: jeni on March 11, 2015, 09:00:14 AM
It's almost as though simple labels like "straight" and "gay" are inadequate to capture the complexity of human sexuality!

or that adding trans people into the mix doesn't affect those labels in any way!

Quote from: marikvulpina on March 11, 2015, 10:46:49 AM
or that adding trans people into the mix doesn't affect those labels in any way!

Exactly. Someone, I think my mom, asked about gay or straightness. All I could say in response was, "It's complicated." I think it's better just to describe myself as "attracted to women." That separates the question, and doesn't trigger issues with people who may not see me as female yet. (I'm not really transitioned yet, so I don't blame them. I currently don't quite see myself as male or female at the moment, either.)

Quote from: jeni on March 11, 2015, 11:05:22 AM
Exactly. Someone, I think my mom, asked about gay or straightness. All I could say in response was, "It's complicated." I think it's better just to describe myself as "attracted to women." That separates the question, and doesn't trigger issues with people who may not see me as female yet. (I'm not really transitioned yet, so I don't blame them. I currently don't quite see myself as male or female at the moment, either.)

That's exactly how I describe my sexuality when it comes up.  I answer with "I'm attracted to women" and that answer should serve me now as well as later after I transition. 

"Will you start menstruating?"
"Will HRT change your chromosomes?" (asked sincerely, not as a microagression)
"But you like women!"

The last one is the only one which actually annoys me, the first two are just entertaining. It's annoying to have to remind people, even open-minded people, that lesbian and bi women actually exist.

For brevity:

Nephew: "I feel bad for your parents" - OK.
My parents: "I feel bad for you, pathetic" - I feel bad for you missing out on a great and kind child.
My dad: "Hey, it's okay if you want to be gay... but this trans-thing? I don't know."
Doctor: "So you want to be a male?" - Not likely.
Some woman: "When do you get the two surgeries? (thinking I was FTM)" - I opted for one, thank you very much.
Waitress: "Whispering to another waitress: that's a ->-bleeped-<-!" - on the 5th day I came out, so very fragile.
A guy I dated who knew my condition and SRS: "Can you get pregnant?" - Me, no.
A lesbian friend: "You want to be a ->-bleeped-<- then?" - nevermind.
A female friend: "Who wants to become a woman?" - uhhh me?
A guy friend: "Respect for losing all your male privileges" - ... which are?
Random woman: "Are you the one that does the face paint this afternoon with the kids?" - no I wear this daily.
Random bloke: "I want to make a compliment... for your courage, you are transgender, right?" hmm okay. 

Edit: removed a couple non essential, added a few more I just remembered.

The best one that comes to mind is "What does the fake penis (packer/STP) look like?? I wanna see that!"

I'm sure there have been others.  Mostly "Why do you want to be a BOY?"

Someone here telling me if I don't have a female voice, I'm not a woman.
My ID, having GRS last year and my friends would beg to differ.

Quote from: Muffinheart on March 25, 2015, 08:01:13 AM
Someone here telling me if I don't have a female voice, I'm not a woman.
My ID, having GRS last year and my friends would beg to differ.

Indeed!  That is ridiculous.  My dentist alluded to something similar last night when she asked if HRT would change my voice "because yours is kinda low".  So, in her mind that is a key component to being a woman....

Quote...if I don't have a female voice, I'm not a woman.

And just what is a female voice? Tell 'em to go listen to Lauren Bacall some time -- ain't she a woman??!!

Google "Lauren Bacall voice" and go to the linked video.

Quote from: Tysilio on March 25, 2015, 08:19:57 AM
And just what is a female voice? Tell 'em to go listen to Lauren Bacall some time -- ain't she a woman??!!

Google "Lauren Bacall voice" and go to the linked video.

Lauren Bacall had a sexy voice, and I often refer to her when some one suggests you need a high pitch to pass.

Even worse, I've been told my waist to hip ratio isn't feminine.
Yeah, so I look like a pencil walking down the street...who cares? Lol

Way too many experts out there

Quote from: ainsley on March 25, 2015, 08:08:24 AM
Indeed!  That is ridiculous.  My dentist alluded to something similar last night when she asked if HRT would change my voice "because yours is kinda low".  So, in her mind that is a key component to being a woman....

The resident in my endo's office commented that HRT hadn't affected my voice yet. I had to school her. She also told me I have a large Adam's apple.

Quote from: 2cherry on March 21, 2015, 11:34:38 AM
Waitress: "Whispering to another waitress: that's a ->-bleeped-<-!" - on the 5th day I came out, so very fragile.

I HATE that word.  I've never been called that (to my knowledge), but I think I'd punch that person if they did.  I'm so sorry, hun.

OK, this one is popular, and possibly by extension boring, but I think the fact its so common and yet so glaringly stupid, earns it a high ranking place on the list....

"If its not to personal question are you having the op/other question about the contents of your knickers (or panties if your from the US)."

-- Erm, no, of course its not too personal to ask me about my genitals in a public space, in front of my friends and family as well as random strangers. Shall I make a powerpoint slideshow for everyone? I am sure you would love to discuss your labia in front of your loved ones, your mum, gran and the delivery man, so why don't we all join in? Or is it just me who is afforded such a privileged?