Hello guys, well i was looking for Shantel, i don´t know if she´s not longer a member, but i need help.

Well im bigender ( androynous), a few years ago i thought i was a transgender woman ( i was born as a male) then going to therapy i discover androgyne or bigender describes more who i am, i also have GID, maybe not 100% but definately i deal with that.

I have 3 kids, my wife already knows, and she doesn´t support my transition, BTW im not transitioning right now, and the last year since we got together again, i blocked my GID, and stopped talking about it and thinking about it.

But now, im feeling something so weird, it is called depersonalization/derealization , it is like if my persona or my buddy was independent, like if i have no control over it, sometimes is more severe, sometimes i can deal with it, it is like if im un auto mode, have you experienced this? does this has to be with GID? is GID trying to tell me i need to think about it again? Hope you can help me guys, greetings from MExico

Quote from: Emanuelle aka ema on March 09, 2015, 10:32:55 AM
But now, im feeling something so weird, it is called depersonalization/derealization , it is like if my persona or my buddy was independent, like if i have no control over it, sometimes is more severe, sometimes i can deal with it, it is like if im un auto mode, have you experienced this? does this has to be with GID? is GID trying to tell me i need to think about it again?

I can't say for sure. What I do know is that non-binary people are not exempt from the need to find a physical presentation that matches our gender identity. Those of us who try living with a binary presentation when we don't identify as that binary gender often feel dysphoria. That sort of dysphoria can be just as crushing as that suffered by binary folk.

I've always thought the notion to be ridiculous that non-binary folks don't suffer gender dysphoria as intensely because we always align a little bit with either binary gender. In my opinion it can be even harder for us, because there often isn't any obvious presentation that matches our identity and even people that accept binary trans people, often find non-binary presentations hard to take.

Maybe pay a visit to a gender therapist if you can find one in your area.

Thanks Suzi, yes i´ll have to go to my therapist again, hopes somebody did felt the same as me, it is something that confuses me, i know im not getting crazy, a lot of people have this feelings, but it is something like GID, not much people know about this, and i do think maybe it has to be something related with GID, i´ve been living in full male mode for the past 1 and a half years, i try not to think about transitioning, but sometimes even if i don´t think about it, maybe my mind or my body reminds me of it, i dealt with it all my life, but with the years it gets a little bit stronger, in the past i just could say, ok this is some kind of fetish, i just have to quit doing it  ( crossdressing) then when i went to the therapist and realize what i really am or feel, i felt very good, the problem is, if i don´t want to have problems with my wife, i have to act like a man all the time, for me it is impossible to act androgynous if my looks are 100% male, you know what i mean? sometimes i try to forget about my physics and still try to be me, but it is difficult.

Well i hope someone have some more info about depersonalization, maybe it is just anxiety, but i want to be sure about it.