Hi all! So I need advice.. My grandma passed away this morning.. she was pretty much my mom. I am pretty distraught, but besides grieving her loss, I am getting anxious about her funeral.

I live in rural Arkansas and essentially everyone who will attend this is a backward close minded person, who new me "before." Part of my dilemma is my face. I wish I could go without wearing any makeup as I know I will probably cry it off+hugging people tightly with faces against clothes is a no no.. could be limiting.. but without it I'm going to look like a "man in a dress" and that is going to distress me as well..

I just wish I was done transitioning before this happened so I could focus on what really matters.. Anyway, thanks all! <3

Oh dear Damara,
My personal condolences. Hug.

I know from previous posts that your Grandma accepted you as you. Maybe respect her respect and go as the young lady she loved?

If that is too hard go gender neutral. Maybe a black tunic top and nice female pants?

I have to admit being Australian I do not know what Arkansas may be like so do temper my advice with reality.

My Love and Condolences

Cindy

Hugs, somehow death is never timely.

I think the make up is acceptable, without worrying about it getting on clothes. Maybe use less than usual.

Quote from: Cindy on March 12, 2015, 01:45:40 AM
Oh dear Damara,
My personal condolences. Hug.

I know from previous posts that your Grandma accepted you as you. Maybe respect her respect and go as the young lady she loved?

If that is too hard go gender neutral. Maybe a black tunic top and nice female pants?

I have to admit being Australian I do not know what Arkansas may be like so do temper my advice with reality.

My Love and Condolences

Cindy

Thank you, Cindy! hugs to you too!! <3 Grandma loved me for me and she would want me to go as I feel comfortable. No one is going to do anything at the funeral even if they don't like me being there...  I think I am more worried about my makeup getting wiped away than anything.. lol!

Quote from: LordKAT on March 12, 2015, 01:51:19 AM
Hugs, somehow death is never timely.

I think the make up is acceptable, without worrying about it getting on clothes. Maybe use less than usual.

That's a good idea! I think I will do that! Waterproof mascara!

Well go get a pro makeup job and tell them you are going to a funeral and will cry. They know what to do, and you will look gorgeous for your Grandma and you can celebrate her life and her love for a lovely Grand daughter

Hugs, Damara -- I'm very sorry for your loss!
I think getting a pro makeup sounds like a good option.

Pro make up things aren't an option for me sadly, but that is such great idea!

One of those free store makeovers maybe.

In that case, light/waterproof make-up! You will look great and if it smears, so what!

Damara, I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there, kiddo.

My grandma was pretty much my mom, too, and I still think about her all the time.

Hugs!

My condolences to you Damera.  It's never easy, loosing someone that's so significant.  I will say a prayer for you and your grand's spirit.  As for your relatives, prepare for them to treat you poorly, but realize you may also be surprised by who may accept you as well.  Be your beautiful self.
Hugs,

-Alana

Damara,
I wish I could give you an answer but my gut says go as Damara.  Are you full time?  If so this is part of the journey and something good will come out of it.
Sorry about your Grandma, so happy you found love from her.. I know it was pure love because she loved you as you are from what I heard.
I think she would be proud of you and would be nice for others to know she accepted you.  After all, they are there to show respect for her and being respectful to you would be part of that.
Dodie

Hugs, wishing you strength in this time of loss.

Remember the funeral is to honour your grandmother, it is you and your memory of her that matters. If others can't be accepting then screw them you are there for your grandmother not them.
Go in a manner that would make your grandmother proud. But as others have said I imagine waterproof makeup might help.

Big hug! Sorry about your grandmother, hon.  Stay strong.

Hugs, Devlyn

*hugs* for your loss.

*flowers*

I'd suggest going as yourself, sounds like your grandma would've wanted it that way.

Quote from: Damara on March 12, 2015, 01:37:20 AM
Hi all! So I need advice.. My grandma passed away this morning.. she was pretty much my mom. I am pretty distraught, but besides grieving her loss, I am getting anxious about her funeral.

I live in rural Arkansas and essentially everyone who will attend this is a backward close minded person, who new me "before." Part of my dilemma is my face. I wish I could go without wearing any makeup as I know I will probably cry it off+hugging people tightly with faces against clothes is a no no.. could be limiting.. but without it I'm going to look like a "man in a dress" and that is going to distress me as well..

I just wish I was done transitioning before this happened so I could focus on what really matters.. Anyway, thanks all! <3

Sorry for your loss. I would go in what you feel comfortable in...maybe instead of a dress do a nice blouse, slim trousers, and pointed toe flats. When it comes to ur makeup, skip the liner and eyeshadow and use multiple coats of waterproof mascara. L'Oreal Voluminous Miss Manga is AMAZING! Ive cried in it...slept in it, it stays put. Use concealer to cover what u want to cover and powder foundation to set it. Bring the foundation with u so u can discreetly touch up if u need to. You can still feminize your face by contouring your cheekbones, blush, and shaping your brows. For me, Ive found that less is more. I look more feminine with less make up...the same for cis women. Look at Nicki Minaj for example. You can still look feminine with minimal make up, dont worry. Just remember waterproof, powder, contour, blush.

1) Sorry about your Grandma.

2) Setting spray

Quote from: Dodie on March 12, 2015, 09:58:23 AM
Damara,
I wish I could give you an answer but my gut says go as Damara.  Are you full time?  If so this is part of the journey and something good will come out of it.
Sorry about your Grandma, so happy you found love from her.. I know it was pure love because she loved you as you are from what I heard.
I think she would be proud of you and would be nice for others to know she accepted you.  After all, they are there to show respect for her and being respectful to you would be part of that.
Dodie

I've been full time for half a year now! I am going as myself, I have a lovely simple black dress, and some pink shoes (one of her favourite colours) Thanks so much! <3


Thanks so much, everyone! Funeral is tomorrow! My heart is sad.. I wish I cried prettier. lol! I sound like a barking dog.

I don't think anyone ever looks their best when bawling their eyes out. Hugs. Hope the funeral goes well. My very much loved grandmother passed away a few years ago, the funeral was a blur.