Okay, im pretty sure no one on here knows about this, but i've actually had tics for almost two years now, both movements that i can't control and a whole range of vocal tics, anything from a little squeak or saying a syllable or two to saying whole sentences, and they usually make just no sense at all, but they are awfully funny, let me tell you! I've started keeping a little journal that i write them in, and i figured it would make some of you laugh if i shared them.

oh and TRIGGER WARNING some of them are explicit, just be comforted that i cant really control any of my tics, its all something wonky in my brain.


one of the most repetitive things i say are aimed at "bob"

"BOB!"
"BOB, GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!"
"Well what do you know, Bob's a dinosaur."
*Said in a cute little baby voice** "Mr. Dinosaur"
"GODDAMIT BOB!"
"Bob, you lazy bum!"
"Bob, you stupid dinosaur!
"Bob,*long pause* SUCK MY DICK!"


My friend one day was joking about people doing drugs one day at group, which isn't funny. The funny part is,  I cut them off midsentence to call them a crack head.


I was making my bed one morning when i just yelled out, "OH THATS REAL NICE, JUST EAT MY FRIKIN TOASTER!"

And apparently i'm a thumbophobe, "I'm not against thumbs, but it is not okay if you have them."

"Your waffles are strange."
"Cats don't have faces."
"You can't have cabbage on your salad."
"Waffle toast fingers."
"Watermelons are massaging my butt."
"Roasted cat feces."

My uncle had just finished bringing the dog back inside and, "Your dog is stupid." I actually felt really  bad about it, (that happens more often then you think, because i have coprolalia, which is swearing tics, and i really don't like swearing at all, especially when im out in public.) But im pretty sure he didn't here me, luckily.

"Theres nothing like rough s*x on a bed." Yeah because the floor is awfully uncomfortable.

"Mr. Unicorn loves you!"

"Sk8er goat."

i hope this made someone laugh, i just thought that maybe something really off topic but funny would brighten someones day, and being able to laugh about it with other people makes it alot easier to cope with

I have a friend with Tourettes. He tried real hard to ignore it most of the time. Some of it does get funny, some of it not so much. I'm glad you can see some humor in what many would not. The ability to laugh at oneself can make a lot of difference.

You could make those into really cool poetry! Like a collage with words/phrases.

Quote from: LordKAT on March 13, 2015, 11:17:13 AM
I have a friend with Tourettes. He tried real hard to ignore it most of the time. Some of it does get funny, some of it not so much. I'm glad you can see some humor in what many would not. The ability to laugh at oneself can make a lot of difference.

Yeah, A lot of it isn't very funny, but looking on the bright-side of things is a really big help.

I have tic attacks too, which is immobilizing full body tics, and i actually had to be sent to the ER last monday because of it, so being able to look back on the lighter areas helps a lot.

Quote from: adrian on March 13, 2015, 11:18:10 AM
You could make those into really cool poetry! Like a collage with words/phrases.

Theres actually a woman in the UK who does this, her website is touretteshero, ill link it. Shes the one who inspired me to make the most out of an otherwise crappy situation, some of hers are a lot funnier than mine, you should check it out! http://www.touretteshero.com/

Thanks for the link -- it's a cool page!

Quote from: adrian on March 13, 2015, 01:01:54 PM
Thanks for the link -- it's a cool page!

no problem man

I want to know what watermelon butt massage feels like...

Glad you can laugh at some of that stuff.

Edit: P.S. awesome website.

This brightened my day a lot. I have tics too, but not vocal ones. Mostly I just clap and flap my hands or snap and twist my fingers. Sometimes I jerk or roll my head around, but it's mostly just my arms and hands. My friends call it "t-Rex arms" or "happy hands" and that always makes me laugh. My tics came on suddenly too when I was in high school, but they've also gotten a lot better over the past year. Most of my tics now only happen when I'm really anxious or excited. I don't have Tourette's either and was tested for autism cause I was told my tics look a lot like the self-stimming behaviors that autistic people sometimes do, but I still don't know the cause of my tics. I can imagine that vocal tics must get you into a lot of awkward situations though.

I have high-functioning autism, which is sort of the opposite problem: not being able to speak when I actually want to. Sometimes I need to make a noise to draw someone's attention to something, and I don't know what word to use, so I just stare at the subject of my interest and say "doop".

Like someone standing in front of the utensil drawer when I need a fork. I stare at the drawer. Doop doop!

The "Godammit Bob" made me laugh, so you can laugh at my doop.

I'm rolling here!  The Bob ones are hilarious!

Quote from: skakid on March 22, 2015, 04:15:47 PM
This brightened my day a lot. I have tics too, but not vocal ones. Mostly I just clap and flap my hands or snap and twist my fingers. Sometimes I jerk or roll my head around, but it's mostly just my arms and hands. My friends call it "t-Rex arms" or "happy hands" and that always makes me laugh. My tics came on suddenly too when I was in high school, but they've also gotten a lot better over the past year. Most of my tics now only happen when I'm really anxious or excited. I don't have Tourette's either and was tested for autism cause I was told my tics look a lot like the self-stimming behaviors that autistic people sometimes do, but I still don't know the cause of my tics. I can imagine that vocal tics must get you into a lot of awkward situations though.

My tics started when i was in 7th grade , so around 13.
i do "happy hands" too, but its not a tic for me, more of a habit when im really excited, but it sounds exactly like what you are describing.

my tics get alot worse like when you said, mostly when im over excited, (which is always, im a very exciteable person) or when im anxios, and when i got out in public.

awkward situations, yes.

i go to group therapy three days a week, and its funny because i have said my therapist who dirves mes last name as a tic before i even knew it was his last name, and his dads name is bob 0.o

luckily he laughs it off, and has yet to hear the one where i tell bob to,

yeah.. that one..

Quote from: TayBay on March 22, 2015, 08:37:08 PM
I have high-functioning autism, which is sort of the opposite problem: not being able to speak when I actually want to. Sometimes I need to make a noise to draw someone's attention to something, and I don't know what word to use, so I just stare at the subject of my interest and say "doop".

Like someone standing in front of the utensil drawer when I need a fork. I stare at the drawer. Doop doop!

The "Godammit Bob" made me laugh, so you can laugh at my doop.

thats alright, we have a part who has similar problems but she cant speak at all, so she has to make noises sometimes to let people know she needs something (we have a dissociative disorder that split up our personality to deal with trauma) soi can understand your plight just a bit, though i am sure she could alot better than me.