Awkwaaaaaaaard!

Jill F · March 13, 2015, 03:23:01 PM

Grace, I noticed that once I started wearing my wedding rings that the rules of engagement (punintentional) undergo a major shift. Before I wore them, I got hit on by guys who couldn't tell whether I was taken or not, some of them creepy, some not so much. I had to learn the art of getting rid of them pretty fast. Now that I can flash them the bling, if they still insist on hitting on me, I know 100% for sure that they're creeps. I don't feel bad about being rude or hurting their feelings now.

The bling on the ring means there won't be a fling.

Ms Grace · March 13, 2015, 03:43:21 PM

I'm rude, rude, rude... I know. When I decided to transition I never expected I'd be remotely attractive to dudes, or at least some dudes. I feel under a lot of scrutiny when a guy tries hitting on me, it makes me feel very vulnerable and sends me into a weird self contained panic so my response is shut down and ignore and repel. Think I need to work on that, even though I'm not into guys I need to be less of an aloof bi@tc#. Mind you, a lot of my cis women friends tell me they'd just tell those kind of guys to $&@% off, so he got off fairly lightly with me, lol!

Quote from: suzifrommd on March 13, 2015, 08:47:48 AM
Polite: "Would you mind some company?"
Rude: "room for one more to squeeze in?"

One attempts to respect your interests, the other makes it awkward for you decline.

Thanks Suzi, I agree.

Ms Grace · March 13, 2015, 03:47:35 PM

BTW, thanks for the feedback everyone. And just so you know, I'm very genial and friendly to people I know and like and I love you all!

Kim 526 · March 13, 2015, 07:39:56 PM

I stay out of bars. Been there, done that

Devlyn · March 13, 2015, 07:44:27 PM

Hey stranger!

Hugs, Devlyn

Rachel · March 13, 2015, 09:08:08 PM

Hi Grace,

I think he was very forward and started the interaction poorly. In retrospect next time perhaps saying I am waiting for someone would have him walking away. If not then a bit firmer decline would be polite.

LoriLorenz · March 14, 2015, 02:40:19 AM

I will gladly bodyguard for anyone who needs it.

That said, our world encourages men to be aggressive in approaching women, so you probably did the safe thing by closing off. Letting him in after using a line that makes you feel uncomfortable is unsafe.

Hugs.

Lorenz

Ms Grace · March 14, 2015, 02:47:15 AM

I was talking on the phone to my mother today and told her about it - I think she's still coming to grips with the fact that her "former son" is getting pick up attempts from dudes...

katrinaw · March 14, 2015, 07:56:32 AM

There is a fine line between being friendly and invading the party or personal space... I am fairly congenial, but in the same situation I would feel that it was rude for someone to barge in... Polite way is, do you mind if I borrow the seat (busy cafe, bar etc), or do you mind if I sit here, and await an acceptance or a shuffle of people to accommodate.

Anyway that's just me

L Katy

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Awkwaaaaaaaard!

Jill F