Hi Everyone
I am finally getting to this point in my life. I'm going to talk with my wife about by transgender and feelings to transition at some point. Like a lot of the people here I have been depressed most of my life with the depression getting really bad over the last 10 years. I have been in some very dark places.

My wife is a very wonderful caring women and has none I am transgender for about 20 years but I have not told her about my feelings of transitioning. Before becoming 53 years old on Monday I am finally going to talk with her about it. A large part of me says everything will be OK but it's that small part that tells me I will lose everything.

Mt depression has been getting so bad I have to do something. My daughters are going away for the weekend and I have time alone with her. I have tried to do this so many times and chickened out. I hope I can finally follow through with it. As is gets closer I feel like throwing up when I think about it.

Please say a prayer for me. I will need it. I know it will be a relief in some ways but it will open up other things which can be good or bad. I was really ready to talk with her a year ago and I was going to but then she had an emergency gallbladder surgery so I could not speak with her. Maybe that was a sign. I hope the appendix doesn't go this weekend 

The day is almost here. Wish me luck!!! Please!!!
Hugs
Melanie

Good luck! Hugs! You're already ahead of the curve in the fact that she knows you are transgender. When you discussed it previously did the issue of how she felt about transition ever come up? It seems some women will accept their partner being trans but not if they transition - I presume your now seriously considering transition so if you have a sense of what her feelings and objections might be try framing what you need to tell her in that light.

Good luck Mel! Hope it goes well.

Looking out for you Melanie... Hugs to you hope it pans out well... I have still to do this, my SO is not aware of my GD, maybe she's suspicious, maybe does not want to know the truth... Either way because of where I am, I'll be thinking of you over the next day or so... xoxoxo

L Katy 

Thank you Grace and Katy
I spoke about being transgender with my wife many years ago and she told me there would be problems if I went on hormones but then a few years ago while a transgender documentary was on she commented that, that would be me in 15 years when they were showing a MTF transitioning. So I do not know where I stand right now. I have a very good loving marriage but just don't know where things will go.

I feel numb right now and maybe that's good. I feel I have to do this because if I don't I will just go into a deep depression which would end badly. I am considering transitioning but not next year or the year after. I would like to take a low dose of estrogen and laser.

Katy I hope things go well with you. I will let everyone know how things went. 
Melanie

Good luck Melanie!

Hugs,   Stanna

Hope it goes well for you honey. Hugs!

good luck Melanie!

I know it's absolutley terrifying, but you can do it.

Good luck Melanie, sending positive thoughts your way! Best wishes.

My prayers are with you Melanie.

Dropping the T-Bomb is usually not pretty, even for a spouse who always knew of your GD as mine of 30 years. About the same age as you also, but a few months after my birthday. For my birthday I had my screening interview with my TG support group moderator. By my third meeting I knew the time was almost too late to tell my wife and BFF what was up

BTW - It went a surprising different direction then I thought. It has also been a heck of a wild ride since

Good luck. I am sending good thoughts your way, hugs.

You might have a look at this post for some thoughts:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184646.msg1641345.html#msg1641345

Good luck and hugs

See it all come to a good ending, it helps

I will be thinking of u.
I was just in your shoes 15 months or so ago.
I know how u feel and will never forget that day
I get emotional just thinking about it.
Just be honest with her 
Dodie

Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement. It helps so much!!!!

Good luck and hugs!  We'll be thinking of you.

Melonie
Hope ur day goes ok.
My wife and I are divorcing but best friends and really more than that
We so luv each other and are together all the time
We live apart now
I still cry as she does.
I even miss the old me even though I don't regret transition.
I just wish I could say more to help u and ur wife.
I know it will be hard.
Dodie

Melanie,

I hope it went well.

I had "the talk" last year. It wasn't easy. But we are working through it.

Even if that means we won't be together.

It may be for the best.

No news is good news I hope?  Or still .....

I talked with her today after dinner. It took me that long. I thought I better do it now or I won't again. I told her how my depression is getting worse and we talked about what would make me feel better. I told her about my transitioning feelings and told her about how I was thinking about taking a low dose of estrogen and I would not want to do anything about transitioning if it comes to that until my daughters are out of college due to my job.

She agreed and said I should look into estrogen with the endo my doctor will recommend. Things went vey well. She is amazing and I love her so much. Also told me we will talk with my daughters after this semester of college finishes which I agree. I don't want to add any more stress to there school.

She said I am my own worse enemy and shouldn't beat up myself like I do and I should have talked to her sooner. Things will go slow from here which is OK with me.

I am very fortunate to have her. Sorry it took so long to let you know what happened. Thank you for your support!! It really helped so much.
Hugs
Melanie

So glad you talked to her and it went so well!  Was wondering how it went all day!