May we ask what your levels are.  I'm starting to hear that too much estradiol can cause problems.  And progesterone in some people is a hamper too..  maybe time to change around your doses for a while, but you need to know what they are and talk w your dr about it..  do you have any breast pain during injections?   Do you have a high and low during the ends of the shot?  I had mine reduced from 10 days to every 7 just for more consistency in levels..  what are your t levels?  Are you blocking them? 

This tread has drifted aware from the original topic.  Yes, you can have good result transitioning in your 30s or later.  That does not mean it does not work out very well for some people.  But that does not necessarily mean that age is the factor.

HRT is only one aspect of transitioning.  I am a little concerned when peoples top goal in taking HRT is physical changes.  It just seems that seeing it that way will set you up for disappointment.  Starting HRT to improve how you feel, and help with dysphoria was the primary reason for me and any physical changes were secondary.  It is the primary driver when talking to my doctor.  If we ever changed any dosages, the first question was "How do you feel?", not "How are the physical changes?".

Knowledge is power when it comes to HRT.  Yes we should be under the care of a doctor, but having the knowledge on standard dosages, ideal levels, and the pluses and minuses of the different forms of medication are very important.  Approaching it like if you were a doctor learning about the process.  Being a self advocate with your doctor is a super important thing.  In particular in this tread I saw two things that make me suspect that HRT is not optimized.  Little physical changes from HRT, but the reported E levels seemed low.  Lose of sex drive, where T levels are below the level to measure them.  HRT is about balance, and the balances seem to be off, which can cause poor results.

However, even with all that, HRT does not always work out for physical changes.  It is something that many of us were warned about (hopefully by your doctor), that results can vary greatly, and that can happen at any age.  And that as we get older that HRT can have less of an affect, but even that has great variation as is evident from this tread and many people on this forum.  That was the purpose of this thread, was to give people an ideal of what HRT can do in your 30s (or later).  And for many it works well, and for some it does not and I have lots of sympathy for those cases.  Hopefully this thread will give someone thinking about HRT in their 30s a balanced view of this.

I disagree with you that you necessarily take hormones to feel good. I can't know ahead of time if the hormones will make me feel good or not. For me personally, I don't know if they made me feel good. I know I don't appreciate the all but complete loss of sex drive, but I'd love to exchange that if necessary for physical changes, but I don't have that either. How am I supposed to feel less dysphoric if my body is the same and I lost my sex drive? I didn't gain anything new. For me personally, I have no idea if the hormones made me feel better or worse. As far as I'm concerned, it's the same, only now I have less sex drive.

So does that mean HRT is not for me? Well, if I stop HRT then the sex change commitee might interpret that as unwillingness to transition and deprive me of FFS and Tracheal Shave that could do what the hormones haven't been doing.

And even without that, how can you state that the purpose of HRT would necessarily be to feel good directly from them? It's like saying I shouldn't do laser hair removal because it hurts, but in the long run when I lose my facial hair, I will feel less dysphoria and feel better. In the same way, I take hormones, hopefully to make physical change, which will hopefully make my body resemble my gender identity, leading in the long run to less dysphoria. So I'm also double unfortunate to not get any chemical emotionally balancing effect from the hormones, and that's supposed to mean I'm expecting them to do something they weren't designed to do?

I would be happy to discuss this more in a new thread, but I think you have options concerning how you are doing HRT.

Being in my thirties this thread has now disheartened me a bit.  But i guess on the bright side if hormones don't do anything atleast most of the face can be fixed with FFS.

Quote from: jessical on February 16, 2015, 02:15:45 PM
This tread has drifted aware from the original topic.  Yes, you can have good result transitioning in your 30s or later.  That does not mean it does not work out very well for some people.  But that does not necessarily mean that age is the factor.

HRT is only one aspect of transitioning.  I am a little concerned when peoples top goal in taking HRT is physical changes.  It just seems that seeing it that way will set you up for disappointment.  Starting HRT to improve how you feel, and help with dysphoria was the primary reason for me and any physical changes were secondary.  It is the primary driver when talking to my doctor.  If we ever changed any dosages, the first question was "How do you feel?", not "How are the physical changes?".

Knowledge is power when it comes to HRT.  Yes we should be under the care of a doctor, but having the knowledge on standard dosages, ideal levels, and the pluses and minuses of the different forms of medication are very important.  Approaching it like if you were a doctor learning about the process.  Being a self advocate with your doctor is a super important thing.  In particular in this tread I saw two things that make me suspect that HRT is not optimized.  Little physical changes from HRT, but the reported E levels seemed low.  Lose of sex drive, where T levels are below the level to measure them.  HRT is about balance, and the balances seem to be off, which can cause poor results.

However, even with all that, HRT does not always work out for physical changes.  It is something that many of us were warned about (hopefully by your doctor), that results can vary greatly, and that can happen at any age.  And that as we get older that HRT can have less of an affect, but even that has great variation as is evident from this tread and many people on this forum.  That was the purpose of this thread, was to give people an ideal of what HRT can do in your 30s (or later).  And for many it works well, and for some it does not and I have lots of sympathy for those cases.  Hopefully this thread will give someone thinking about HRT in their 30s a balanced view of this.

I so agree with you that taking hormones for possible physical appearances may be a letdown.
When I started therapy sessions, I didn't even go into those sessions thinking of hormones. Hormones were an afterthought as therapy to me was about getting my head screwed on right. Hormones were nice, but they haven't altered my physical appearance after six years except very slight changes.
As for sex, the last thing I ever wanted was actually having a sex drive. I've never had a sex drive until I knew my "tumor" would be gone. Only then would I consider sex. for me, hormones actually decreased my sex drive.

Quote from: jessical on February 16, 2015, 02:15:45 PM
This tread has drifted aware from the original topic.  Yes, you can have good result transitioning in your 30s or later.  That does not mean it does not work out very well for some people.  But that does not necessarily mean that age is the factor.

HRT is only one aspect of transitioning.  I am a little concerned when peoples top goal in taking HRT is physical changes.  It just seems that seeing it that way will set you up for disappointment.  Starting HRT to improve how you feel, and help with dysphoria was the primary reason for me and any physical changes were secondary.  It is the primary driver when talking to my doctor.  If we ever changed any dosages, the first question was "How do you feel?", not "How are the physical changes?".

Knowledge is power when it comes to HRT.  Yes we should be under the care of a doctor, but having the knowledge on standard dosages, ideal levels, and the pluses and minuses of the different forms of medication are very important.  Approaching it like if you were a doctor learning about the process.  Being a self advocate with your doctor is a super important thing.  In particular in this tread I saw two things that make me suspect that HRT is not optimized.  Little physical changes from HRT, but the reported E levels seemed low.  Lose of sex drive, where T levels are below the level to measure them.  HRT is about balance, and the balances seem to be off, which can cause poor results.

However, even with all that, HRT does not always work out for physical changes.  It is something that many of us were warned about (hopefully by your doctor), that results can vary greatly, and that can happen at any age.  And that as we get older that HRT can have less of an affect, but even that has great variation as is evident from this tread and many people on this forum.  That was the purpose of this thread, was to give people an ideal of what HRT can do in your 30s (or later).  And for many it works well, and for some it does not and I have lots of sympathy for those cases.  Hopefully this thread will give someone thinking about HRT in their 30s a balanced view of this.

It is perfectly reasonable for people to obsess over physical changes.  It is an uncomfortable reality, but the quality of life of a transitioner is often directly proportionate to passability and appearance.  In my experience so far hormones have done wonders for me mentally, but physically i look the same as before.  This is psychologically unsettling for myself, and i imagine for others in similar shoes.

I have felt really good this whole week. There are a number of possibilities as to what's changed. Winter seems to be over and the weather is actually good. I colored my hair and love it. There is also the possibility that HRT has finally affected me mentally. I really think its a combination of all three actually. I've noticed that my emotions are starting to become more accessible and that is the only thing I really have no way of conclusively knowing how its affecting me.

Hi all,

I am 34 years old and in the processes of transitioning to female. I have been on HRT for almost 9 months now and it has done wonders for me both mentally and physically. My dysphoria calmed down, I started feeling emotions again, and it has helped me love life. The best way to describe it is, I used to see only in shades of grey and now I see all in color.

On the physical front, I am almost at an A cup and I have really noticed that my appearance is become feminine (both in my face and body). Yesterday my mom commented saying, "Wow, your hips really are starting to fill out". I am also noticing that my mid section is starting to slowly shift towards a more female appearance and that my legs are losing a lot of their muscle. I am so happy with how things are progressing and can't wait to see how I look at the 2 year mark.

It is very much possible to have positive physical changes in your 30's. My outlook has always been about finding the authentic me first and changes second. People need to keep in mind that our mental state plays a big part in how we perceive ourselves. The happier you are about yourself (not your physical appearance) as a person, the happier you will become with everything else.

Melissa

Quote from: awilliams1701 on March 17, 2015, 03:47:29 PM
I have felt really good this whole week. There are a number of possibilities as to what's changed. Winter seems to be over and the weather is actually good. I colored my hair and love it. There is also the possibility that HRT has finally affected me mentally. I really think its a combination of all three actually. I've noticed that my emotions are starting to become more accessible and that is the only thing I really have no way of conclusively knowing how its affecting me.

I think your latest avatar looks pretty good too. You're really getting there, slowly but surely.

Thanks! That pic is less than a week old. I was at about 3½ months HRT when I took it. I took it to show off my hair, but it turned out so good I've put it up everywhere.

I am 31 when I started transitioning last November and think I have came long way since.

Very first post on anything anywhere about this.  Nervous as hell..............well I'm 37, recently admitted to myself that I might be transgender, came out to fiancee last month and now my life seems like a surreal rollercoaster.   Its so crazy to me I had these feelings for so long but only recently understood them albeit vaguely. Tried going to a coming out function this week but chickened out.  Need to talk and compare what is going on in my head with others that might understand.  Sorry I know a lot of people are far along in figuring this out and I can imagine this must seem laughable considering what many have already gone thru.    I'm 6'2and 215lbsand and a good looking guy reasonably speaking, have a good job great fiancee good family and nothing to complian about.  Then there's this................I'm so scared that this is something I want but am petrified of how this would affect my life.  I do cpr and a bunch of other training at work standing in front of people.  I have a military style haircut and would problably the last guy at work anyone would suspect of this.   How the hell am I supposed to do my job being so visible if I start growing boobs and losing muscle like hrt does.   Excited about the results but not sure how I would get thru transition with this much visibility.   Also, I don't have a decent description to help me understand if this is gender disphoria I'm experiencing or I'm just uncomfortable in general plus fantasize about being a woman on and off.  I think I might fit the bill of non binary gender.   This seems to make my understanding and decision all the more difficult.     I don't crossdress and don't have too much of an interest in that so I don't k
understand why I would want to be female but not express it in a feminine way.   Wtf is going on in my head?!...................any advise or encouragement is very welcome.   Sorry if this was overly lame, it is a surreal feeling actually acknowledging this here and realizing I have others to talk to about this for the first time in my life.  Wow, I'm not alone.......thank god I am not alone. 

Hi Welcome to Susan's Place.

I am in a hotel room in Ohio so I do not have my usual site greeting with links to useful information.

It is very important that you address you trans identity reguardless of how you proceed. A good gender therapist can help you. You may want to include your girl friend in some of the sessions, if permitted.

Remain open and honest and realize the feelings usually intensify with age and there is really nothing you can do about it except address who you are. You have plenty of choices on how you address being trans but you need to address being trans.

What you can tolerate now may change and the feelings may increase and at this juncture of you life being honest with your girlfriend and yourself is very important. The reason I am saying this is I am 52 and hid everything until I had no choice but to address it. I have a wife and 17 year old daughter and I and I made a mess for a while with the family. We are close and making our way but if you can avoid the mess than do so,

hugs.

Welcome, jm77, and nope You are not alone .
May I suggest looking up this article http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm ? I read it when I was somewhere in the place where You are probably now and thanks to it, a lot of pieces of "puzzle" finally clicked into place. Plus, it also gives certain perspective as to what to expect in the future.
Take slow steps and dont make decisions in haste, please. And I hate to say, but this is the stuff which is very hard to deal with alone. It can be done, but... if You have options then getting impartial external opinion from an expert would be advisable route.

Hi JM,

Welcome and congratulations on posting your first post.

First of all you can be transgender and chose not to transition, there is no rulebook and my recommendation is to do as little as you can and still be happy because typically the further down this path you go the harder life gets. Personally I'm not happy until I get my surgery but that's my decision based on how I feel, you need to figure out what you want and how much you are willing to sacrifice.

Having said that for me this whole process has been much easier that I though, I had prepared myself to loose everything and in the end although it did spell the end of my relationship I kept my family, job and friends.

The stereotype of transgender women all being hairdressers etc, could not be further from the truth, I personally know girls that are firefighters, pilots, prison guards and many of us have hobbies which are physically demanding.

Don't worry if you don't have everything figured out at this point, you have made the hardest and most important step and that's admitting this to yourself, it will take you a while to figure the rest out.

Hi JM, welcome to Susan's place. I know how nervous and frighting things can be with so much that you don't know, but realize could affect and change your life in so many ways. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and hugs.
Mariah

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If hormones make me feel emotionally bad and wreak havoc on my metabolism without changing my appearance much do you think it's an option to transition relying only on surgery without hormones or would I probably need the hormones to avoid my face from masculinizing if I had t again? My endo recommends against ditching the hormones because she says they did soften my skin and that it would regress if I stop hormones.

I tend to agree with your doctor and post-SRS, you need some sex hormone in your body for bones, well-being, etc. How much is up to your doctor to decide.

Its certainly understandable what you're going through. I'm lucky enough to be in a very supportive area, but I had no way of knowing that. I started with therapy (which I HIGHLY recommend) and slowly started coming out. It hasn't been perfect, I have two sisters struggling with this, but things are getting better for me.

The good news I'm over all of that now. I get to live my life freely and openly. That in itself is rewarding. When the hormones kicked in mentally about 6 weeks ago (most people say this happens to them in the first week), it was like seeing daylight for the first time.

Its difficult at first, but its so worth it. As for concern about growing boobs. I'm at 5 months and they are certainly there, but they are also tiny. If I wanted to hide it wouldn't be hard for me at this stage. From what I understand sometimes they will grow to be quite large and sometimes they won't. Genetics and age are a big part of that.

Quote from: jm77 on April 30, 2015, 05:10:08 AM
Very first post on anything anywhere about this.  Nervous as hell..............well I'm 37, recently admitted to myself that I might be transgender, came out to fiancee last month and now my life seems like a surreal rollercoaster.   Its so crazy to me I had these feelings for so long but only recently understood them albeit vaguely. Tried going to a coming out function this week but chickened out.  Need to talk and compare what is going on in my head with others that might understand.  Sorry I know a lot of people are far along in figuring this out and I can imagine this must seem laughable considering what many have already gone thru.    I'm 6'2and 215lbsand and a good looking guy reasonably speaking, have a good job great fiancee good family and nothing to complian about.  Then there's this................I'm so scared that this is something I want but am petrified of how this would affect my life.  I do cpr and a bunch of other training at work standing in front of people.  I have a military style haircut and would problably the last guy at work anyone would suspect of this.   How the hell am I supposed to do my job being so visible if I start growing boobs and losing muscle like hrt does.   Excited about the results but not sure how I would get thru transition with this much visibility.   Also, I don't have a decent description to help me understand if this is gender disphoria I'm experiencing or I'm just uncomfortable in general plus fantasize about being a woman on and off.  I think I might fit the bill of non binary gender.   This seems to make my understanding and decision all the more difficult.     I don't crossdress and don't have too much of an interest in that so I don't k
understand why I would want to be female but not express it in a feminine way.   Wtf is going on in my head?!...................any advise or encouragement is very welcome.   Sorry if this was overly lame, it is a surreal feeling actually acknowledging this here and realizing I have others to talk to about this for the first time in my life.  Wow, I'm not alone.......thank god I am not alone.