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Does she already know?

Started by katrinaw, March 16, 2015, 04:08:00 AM

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katrinaw

With all these threads on coming out to your SO and the varying outcomes of this, it got me to thinking about when I come out to my SO...

Over the last number of years:

- Been outed for wearing Mascara
- Been outed for leaving odd items of woman's undies
- Been outed twice for wearing a bra under male clothes (very long while ago)
- Ears pierced twice
- Outed with Belly button piercing (not there now anyway as twice infected)
- Very shaped Eyebrows (although thin) for last 2 to 3 years
- Obvious boobs (B cup, so not big, but definitely there and bouncy
- Remnants of Perfume
- Clear Lacquer on toe nails
- Been outed with nail colour remnants on fingers
- Too many bags when going away
- No sign of male underwear in the washing
- Hairless body for last 5 or so years (used to be like a gorilla before HRT)
- Leg and Arm hair missing (as above)
- MPB very slowly reversing (I do mean slowly)
- Massive interest in Women's wear and shopping (now much more open and with opinions)
- Massive array of Moisturizers (we often buy and share!!!!)
- Never wear Male perfumes
- Always trying to keep nails in shape (still a hard battle there, except for ring and smallest fingers)
- Unisex shoes
- Skinny low waisted jeans, nothing else now
- Avoid doing pool time with family....

Hmmm methinks she has more than an inkling, but is afraid to ask or get told?????

Maybe I am miss-judging the possible reaction, maybe if it will be fine, but probably with rules, like discretion, at least initially??? Although its going to be no picnic after decades of deceit on my part... will get that thrown back

Maybe I am panicking unnecessarily???

Thoughts anyone???

Extremely nervous Katy  :-*

Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
  •  

rosinstraya

Hi Katy,

My normal response is to say that no one really knows until you tell them, however you do seem to have left a lot of "clues" over the years.

I think it is still best to tell her the complete situation regarding you, rather than wait for sonething to happen. At the moment you wonder what might happen when she knows, but it seems fairly clear that she is going to know at some point. If you tell her, you at least are making a move towards finding out what will happen. Obviously you know her best, so you are in the best position to decide when to tell her.

Ros

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katrinaw

Hi Ros, yeah... I know I have to, and will do as soon as my backup plans are in place. But I laying in bed finding it difficult to sleep I started thinking back over the last few years.... It just started me thinking... anyway is an interesting exercise

Ooh taa BTW  :-*

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
  •  

Ms Grace

You've been on HRT since 2003 and she's noticed nothing? I find it hard to believe, even with a very low dose of the stuff it must have had some noticeable effects??

Anyway, as Ros says, you can't really know what others know or think until you raise it with them. For most people, someone transitioning genders is probably the furtherest thing from their minds. They usually go to the "might be gay" base first.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

katrinaw

Hi Grace, hmmm was the other thought process too  :-\ Probably the right one

It was kind of... wow all this... just was overload on my mind and just had to consider the legacy

It took about 4 ~ 5 years on HRT to get to a noticeable point... I guess, living closely you don't notice what's right in front of you, especially as the changes were gradual....

Taa Grace  :-*

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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Cindy

I remember when I came out, my sister in law just said she had known for years. She'd noticed all of the changes.
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katrinaw

Hi Cindy... Yeah that is my better outcome, anyway it really is a catalogue, probably other things, they were front of mind.... Anyway, all supposition until I actually pull myself together and have the conversation..

Thanks Cindy  :-*

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
  •  

Laura_7

You could have a look here for a few thoughts:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184646.msg1641345.html#msg1641345

The second brochure states that being trans has some biological connections, which is imo socially a bit better acceptable, and it might help with self acceptance.

Well you never know exactly how people react... but they might surprise in a positive way....

remaining calm and constructive during the talk might help... and imagining the desired outcome :)

hugs
  •  

katrinaw

Thanks Laura... I imagine the desired outcomes (positively) daily... and thanks for the link, will check it out  :-* I also am trying to prepare for the worst too... just in case  :(

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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