I'm sorry for your loss, Damara, and for the dilemma you have to face in that small town. I realise I'm late to this, but I hope you got through it all--and it takes strength to be yourself in a place where people might not understand or wish to understad what that means. Keep being strong, and you will be remembered by the right people for it.
Regarding the makeup: you can try using a primer that will really keep your foundation glued to it (the best I've tried is Philosophy's The Present, though be warned that it contains lavender, which some people have a reaction to). Also, try using (if you don't already) less foundation/bb cream; sometimes, using even half the amount you might use for a full-coverage look can do wonders to keeping the makeup from moving on your face as much. Finally, using a setting spray, like Urban Decay's All-Nighter, after you've completed your look, can do wonders for keeping your makeup from moving about. It won't make your makeup transfer-free, but the setting spray really does make a difference in terms of how the makeup lasts. A lip stain that won't transfer as much as a lipstick can work for kissing relatives on the cheek, but a gloss is probably your best option, or just kissing near the person rather than against the skin, if they won't be offended. Hope that helps a bit!
