Hi, i'm new my name is Jay. I'm just a crossdresser(in the closet haven't told anybody) I came here to learn and get some ideas on where and how to crossdress. I can't really dress at home and i can not tell anybody i would just be to humiliated so thats out of the question!!(i wanna keep it a secret from my family and freinds!). I don't know if anybody else has done this but i can't think of anything else. I have schedualed appts. at bridal botiques(mostly david's bridal) and made up a story that i'm in need of a dress(sometimes bridal and sometimes just a formal dress) This actualy works very good and my only way of dressing. I've never worn makeup, wig, panties at all and would really like to! If anybody has any ideas that would be great. I can't really buy and bring anything in my house because i don't have that much privacy.
Thanks for any help.

Hey there Jay,

Welcome to Susan's.  And NO you are not JUST a crossdresser.  You say that as if it is a bad thing - no way Jay, we are all equal.

I know that there are lots of folks here who will be only to happy to help you out.  It's a situation many here have experienced.  In the mean time feel free to explore the site, including the Forums and the Wiki.

Read the rules and take part in the discussions where you can, the more the merrier.  We are a pretty good bunch but watch out for Leigh, she has a big whip   Duck - Just kidding.  Relax and enjoy your stay.

Steph

Alright thank you! oh and what i meant by just a crossdresser is that i'm intending on taking hormones or anything, i like being a guy and i'm heterosexual but i just get urges to dress like a girl and i've never got to experience it before(well not all the way)! Who knows i might make a pretty cute girl, i'm skinny like most girls i'm just tall thats the bad thing. I don't know if anybody has had any experience going to a bridal shop and trying on dresses but i just love it. I've tried on so many gowns and they let me wear a bra and slip too. I'm open to comments and suggestions! thanks agian!

Hi Jay,
I'm a cross dresser plus.
At this time I don't plan on taking hormones either.
Still finding out who I really am. I started out just wearing some cloths andreally liked it. But something inside was aroused that I had buried under the male image that society had help me form. What woke up (don't have a better word for it) was the really me. I'm a woman with a male body. I'm heterosexual, or am I a lesbian, because I still am attrached to woman and not men.
Do you have a girl friend that might help you dress.
Maybe you can find a TG group in your area.
Just a couple of ideas.
Good to meet you.

Jillieann

Bah, tall bad indeed ^*wink* I know a few short women who'd kill to be my height

Regardless though, don't be humiliated. You are what you are; Society can go take a swim in a lake

I am always fond a jewelry... normal ol boring guys can even wear earrings (in both ears) these days so that might be a thought. Depending on how little privacy you have various other bits of jewelry may or may not be prudent.

Perhaps the best plan of action is to figure out a way to get some privacy, a place of your own probably being a good option although that really depends on your situation.

Best of luck to you

Thank you all for you suggestions! i appreciate it! I just don't want to own any girl clothes because i would always be worried about being "discovered" which would be horrible! I really get urges to dress up in dresses and skirts. I've been to stores about 10 times but you can't go back without buying anything lol so i'm pretty much stuck..

Jay, welcome to Susan's.

Here's a thought: If you live in or near a major population center you may have an opportunity to get in touch with a local transgender group whose members might be able to help you with your dilemma.  Try a google, you might find something nearby.  If all else fails, though, there's still your imagination.  That's what I usually used when I was younger, even though I did find some pretty secure hiding spots.  A pair of undies and a bra don't take up much space, don't forget.

I realize the fear of getting caught is very real, I lived with it for many years but once it happened, while I was embarrassed as hell, I was also relieved.  It turned out OK for me and of course you need to do what's appropriate for yourself in your situation, but don't fret too much.  Worrying about it too much will hurt you more than any unwanted discovery will, in the long run.

be careful and, again, welcome!
helen

Well, if it is just a worry about being discovered, rent a small studio apartment and store such things there. That would also give an address to ship to.


Another alternative is the face it down method... "Yea I am, so what?" etc. Not for everyone and not for all situations, but such methods do have their place.

Hello Jay
I am also a crossdresser named Brandi, with no plans on taking it any futher. what may be down the road Who nows.
Brandi is not known to nobody but the fine people here at Susans.
I live by myself so I don't have much problems dressing when I want. I keep my wardrobe in it own closet
I don't use make up mostly because I don't go out and it helps if one of my freinds happen to pop over.

Hugs
Brandi

You need to confront your fears about "being discovered".  Many of us crossdressers have ambiguous feelings about crossdressing.  On the one hand it feels just lovely to dress up in lingerie, a skirt and makeup.  On the other hand we are quite aware of the social stigma attached to men who are "effiminate".  We fear rejection and ridcule from those who are close to us.  Yet we want to be who we are.  If we let the fear rule our lives then we will always be frustrated and unhappy.  If we are willing to face the fear and risk some embarassment, then we can live as who we are.

If we here at Susan's can help you, you need to tell us just a little more about your situation.  Are you living at home with your parents?  There is a solution to that.  Get a job and a place of your own.  Then you can do as you please.  Do you have a wife and children?  Then you need to ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your married life hiding from your wife or do you have the courage to tell her?  It is a risk, but it is often a risk worth taking.

Most importantly you need to confront the reasons why you feel ashamed about crossdressing.  Do you really think there is anything wrong about expressing your feminine side?  Is it wrong to be who we are?  It is one thing to be careful about personal safety and to be cautious that others not use the knowledge of our crossdressing to harm us.  But there is nothing about crossdressing to cause us to feel shame and embarrasment about ourselves.

thanks for the sugestions and yeah you have some pretty good points. I live with my parents and siblings at the moment but i'm trying to get money together and move out. I don't know how serious i am about crossdressing to be honest. I would really like a whole makeover. That would be soo awsome. I might hint to one of my female freinds about dressin me up but i can't think of any i would want to ask at the moment. What really gets me going is when i talk about it to a female. I know this sounds weird but this is just what works for me is even when i call to make an appt for a bridal shop and make up an excuse that i need a dress(Last time i said that i'm going to a all girl party and they are all in bridal gowns and they talked me into going dressed as a bride) When i say that the women are usualy "oh thats so cute! This is going to be so much fun!" I've done that alot even though it's unhonest... but it's my only way of dressing...i get to come home and have a feeling that nobody can find me out and i love that feeling....if anyone want me to elaborate i would be glad too
but thanks agian for your suggestions and i hope i can help out others on this forum as well too!

Hi Jay:  As the others have already said your not alone and your story is very similar to others - so welcome.

If you live in a large city you could look into renting a locker at a TG shop where you can store your items and dress.  There is a place like that in Los Angeles where you also have access 24/7.

It is realtively easy to get a makeover at a TG store as well.  While there you can try on clothes, etc to get a feel for your preferences.

I would recommend looking into therapy to examine your ideas and feelings about being a cross dresser and gender related issues.  Another option is to locate a support group in your area.  One I am aware of that caters to hetrosexual cross dressers is Tri Ess (try google to locate in your area).

Read through the Wiki for information and answers to your questions.

Glad you found this oasis.

Molly

Jay
Welcome
i must say that befor i acepeded myself as a cross dresser my dressing was my "dirty little secret".   Once i allowed my fem self to surface it has become a great joy. (still secret)
You might think about a masqurade ball if you could invite you girlfrends to such an event mabe a Marti gras event. then ask the girls for help with your costume.

mabe you could tryout for a school drama production. there may be no cross dressing involved, but on stage you  wear makeup. and becuse it is unsanitairy to shair makup it is best that you purchase your own kit.

Best Wishes

Kate

I would reccomend taking up swimming, it sounds unusual but let me explain.  1 it tones your body very well, 2 it gives you a great excuse to shave your legs, which feels very feminine and great in general.  Just some ideas... Oh, as far as clothes go, just go to a Wal-Mart and say that your looking for clothes for your sister for her birthday and she has about your size.  Piece of cake.

-Allyson

I am in the same boat. I dont think I could tell any one,knowing how my family thinks. I look forward to Christmas season, because you can go shopping and every will think you are buying a present for someone.