So, I was a vet tech for about six, seven years.  I know how to do an IM injection.  I did it to several animals during my short career [I'm an author now; less chance of being bitten] for a myriad of medical reasons.  But I can't get the nerve to do it to myself.

I've had four injections, all in the hip/tuckus, and all done by my wonderful neighbours.  I know it's just a tiny pinch and that's pretty much it.  Even the feeling of the testosterone going into my body isn't that bad.  It's just the idea of willingly causing myself pain, even though it's so minimal...that's what's getting to me.

If you've had this fear, please tell me how you got over it, and that it does get easier.  I need to be able to do this myself.  I see it as a rite of passage, not to mention the fact that I may not always have a neighbour who doesn't mind seeing my arse.

Maybe changing the location would help? I used to inject into the muscle along the outside of my thigh, and that worked well for me. However, subcutaneous injections can also be done, and uses a shorter needle if that has any effect on your level of fear.

For me, the first time was the worst. But I knew that I wanted to control my own transition as much as possible, and I wanted to do my own injections. I guess it was mostly a control issue for me.

I made myself sit down and stay there until I did my first shot. Like Arch, I wanted to be the one in control of my transition. At least, as much as I was able to be. I actually made sure that my husband did not learn how to do the injections solely for that reason. Now, I just have no choice. If I want it, I have to do it.

The first few times really are the worst. It gets easier with time. Now, when I get that weird nervous feeling every so often, I put on an episode of a show (Simpsons, Futurama, something short) and I tell myself by the time it ends I have to have done my shot.

I agree with the above. I was an EMT before a career change, so like you, I was trained in giving IM injections.
There is definitely something different/more difficult about doing it to yourself. I was at least able to cut down on doctor visits by being already trained.

The first few times are the worst. I had what felt like an eternity of hesitation the first time but it was probably only a minute lol. After that first time, it was tough for maybe a time or two after that but it becomes a ritual over time. It doesn't bother me at all now, it's just something I do every week.

Like Arch and Ayden, I wanted to be in control of my transition. The only times that got to be a problem were after top surgery and my hysterectomy (I inject in the glute). My wife is too worried about hurting me and is not medically trained so she wasn't able to do it for me. So I just had to get a bit more creative with positioning. 

Once you get over the jitters, most guys are fine. Some people really can't do it though, and that's ok too. It's just more convenient to do it yourself.

I think it's best to just not think about it. If I don't think about it and just do it as soon as I get the T in the needle, then it's usually pretty quick and painless. But if you keep thinking about it and building it up, it's gonna hurt a lot more.

I'm doing subq instead of IM now but I did used to use IM needles bc the pharmacy was being jerks about what I was prescribed vs what the meds said I needed.
For me the first time was by far the hardest. Took me two hours. I was planning to go see a friend I hadn't seen in a while and I told myself I couldn't go see her until I did my shot. (She knew what was going on and we didn't have a set time to meet.) after that first time I was able to usually do it within 30 minutes. As Ayden said I can help to put on a short show or tell yourself you need to be done by x time. Alternatively telling yourself you can have a reward if you do it by x time can help. When I'm very anxious I tell myself I can have some ice cream or a candy bar if I finish in 15 minutes. By now it's gotten a lot easier, still get jitters sometimes but I can always get it done in a reasonable amount of time. Also helps that I do it before school, so i really do have to finish in a certain amount.

I had the doctor teach me how to do it. The first time I had to self inject I just cringed when it was time to do it after setting it up so he had to do it. The second time, I just put on my favorite song and told myself to poke my skin by the time it finishes. I hesitated but I went in. >< The third time, all alone, I cringed again but I put on my favorite song again and I did it a bit faster. Doing it more often helped and now it's no big deal surprisingly. And this is coming from someone who thought I would need someone to do it forever because I HATED NEEDLES.

These are great suggestions, but I'm also a hard-headed SOB.  I've tried boosting myself from all sorts of angles.  Promising myself a reward is no good because my brain doesn't buy it.  It reminds me, "You're a grown man.  If you want chocolate, you don't have to do ->-bleeped-<- for it.  You get that chocolate and you eat it, m*ther->-bleeped-<-er."  Except trade out the word 'chocolate' for some sort of savoury thing since I'm not terribly big on sweets.  I guess my thing is that my brain is confused.  "Why do you want to inflict pain on yourself?  We avoid pain, at all costs."

Quote from: Amadeus on March 15, 2015, 04:43:11 PM
These are great suggestions, but I'm also a hard-headed SOB.  I've tried boosting myself from all sorts of angles.  Promising myself a reward is no good because my brain doesn't buy it.  It reminds me, "You're a grown man.  If you want chocolate, you don't have to do ->-bleeped-<- for it.  You get that chocolate and you eat it, m*ther->-bleeped-<-er."  Except trade out the word 'chocolate' for some sort of savoury thing since I'm not terribly big on sweets.  I guess my thing is that my brain is confused.  "Why do you want to inflict pain on yourself?  We avoid pain, at all costs."

I ran into that issue too with rewards sometimes Perhaps if you make someone else in charge of the reward, that might help? Like if you have a significant other or friend who will back you up and say no, you can't have this until you do your shot.

AT first I thought you were referring to hitting a nerve when injecting..

I have no problems with receiving injections from others, but I was definitely nervous about self-injecting. Told myself, the injection itself lasts less than a minute. The reward lasts much longer though! Tv or music in the background as a distraction helped me too.
Over time, it gets better. Make sure you're not in a position of extreme stress/anxiety, as that can make the post injection worse. I had to do mine the day I had an operation, and afterwards I was dizzy and my head was spinning for a while.

I was pretty phobic about needles when I started injecting, but I found a couple of things helped a lot. Before I started, I spent some time watching YouTube videos of people self-injecting, as a way of desensitizing myself to the sight of the needle going in and getting familiar with the process.

I do mindfulness meditation pretty regularly, and that helped a lot, especially at first: just sitting with the fear, feeling it my body and breathing into it, then visualizing myself doing the injection, and getting comfortable with the feelings from that. It also helped me to focus on relaxing the thigh muscle before injecting -- if I'm relaxed and warm, it mostly doesn't hurt.

Lately, I've been working on getting over the hesitation thing: where you start to inject, freeze, try again, freeze, etc. I've been visualizing putting the needle in very smoothly, and then actually miming the gesture, without the syringe. Then I go to do the injection, and if I hesitate, I start over with the visualization and miming. This has helped me a lot. After 3-4 weeks, I can now just pick up the syringe and do the shot without freezing or flinching.

I just started T two weeks ago. and I am a vet technician currently. and I have issues with poking myself too. Lucky for me i had to do my first injection before work so i didn't have a lot time to get scared about it. it didnt really hurt as much as i thought it would and so it made my second injection easier. I just hope my second injection doesnt cause alot of soreness like my first injection caused which was like 6 hours post injection. i could barely walk. I think once you bite down and do it... you will see its not that big of a deal.

I hate needles. My roommate did my injections for me every 2 weeks and I dreaded it. Even though I really wanted it and had been waiting forever to finally get on hormones, just the idea of injecting myself was against my nature. The only thing that worked for me is being rational. Do you want this? How bad do you want it? There is no other way to get it, so are you going to deal with the 5 seconds of pain with a needle or the mental anguish of not being on hormones? For me it was a this or that kind of decision.

Flatten the skin where you do the injection. The pain was minimal when I did my injections before, but tightening the skin at injection point on my thigh made my injections painless. Like, seriously can't feel a damned thing.

Quote from: JDeclan99 on March 17, 2015, 07:17:14 PM
Flatten the skin where you do the injection. The pain was minimal when I did my injections before, but tightening the skin at injection point on my thigh made my injections painless. Like, seriously can't feel a damned thing.

I'm going to try this next time I have to inject.  A friend of mine suggested practising on an orange, said it was about as difficult to penetrate an orange as it is to penetrate intramuscularly.

In other news, I got my lab results today.  I'm well within normal testosterone range now: 480ng/dL.  Throat felt sore all day, so I wonder if I'm about to have a voice drop.  Or did my housemate's girlfriend cough on me too much last week...

I finally did it.  Fridays are my Injection Days.  So on Friday night I grabbed my kit, swabbed the area, and whimpered.  I should have just jabbed it in.  Instead I slowly pressed in the needle and felt it cut through the layers of epidermis, dermis, fat, and hopefully muscle.  By that time I was really whimpering and it felt like it took ages to push the testosterone through the tiny 23 gauge needle.  Pulled out and watched the needle stretch my skin.  A tiny spot of blood oozed out.  So of course my housemate's girlfriend thought it would be hilarious to slap a purple plaster over it and take a photo of herself grinning as she hovered over my leg.  AND POSTED IT TO FACEBOOK.

She's lucky she's pretty.  Well, that, and she did rescue me from my crazy mother's house back in 2013 and I'm still grateful.

Well done! I hope you did something nice for yourself after that.

I told myself "I don't need a hug, I don't need a hug..."  Then I took an Ambien and went to bed.

Yeah.  I have issues.  Therapy is on Tuesday.   

I came to read this thread since I just switched to injections. I feel like I'm going to get fat because every week after shot day I reward myself with whatever food I want as a treat for stabbing myself 

Ugh. I can't slowly push in the needle. I can feel it, and it hurts. Stabbing is much better for me.

Besides, I can feel so manly just JAMMING that needle home.