I've been living as Grace for a whole year now. It has been great, going full time has been the best thing I could have done for my emotional wellbeing. Sure I may be mostly estranged from my father and sister but I guess at least they'll talk to me if they have to. My mother is supportive and has no issue with meeting up with me in public. My friends have been completely accepting and supportive - I think they acknowledge that it was the right thing for me (even if they knew me during my first train wreck attempt in the 1990s). I feel pretty relaxed and comfortable when I'm out and about and presumably most people see and treat me as the gender I feel myself to be.
I think being on HRT for two years in my early 20s helped me with this transition... sometimes I do wonder what I'd look like today if I had stayed on the 'mones back then... not that I'm unhappy with how I look now (although I'd definitely have more hair, lol!!)
I am 49, 6'3" and yet I believe I have had a good transition. I had very low expectations going back into this process in early 2013 after my dysphoria meltdown. No way did I ever expect I'd make this work. And yet somehow...
Definitely having great professional support has helped. Counsellor, endo, doctor, electro and even my psyche... all fantastic.
Fortunately I have been very close to women for many years and that has definitely helped with things like interaction, communication, body language... for the most part I have never felt awkward presenting as female, it was like second nature. On the first day I stepped outside as Grace in early 2014 I expected I'd be utterly freaked out and that everyone would read me instantly... not only did I feel completely natural and at ease I don't think anyone looked twice at me. It was quite an experience and a major revelation that maybe, just
maybe, this was actually doable.
In fact, after a few more public outings, that feeling of ease and the joy of being who I wanted to be prompted me to go full time in late March instead of early June 2014. The prodding from a number of ladies here at Susan's also helped embolden me and hasten my schedule too!!
Sure it hasn't all been sunbeams and bunny rabbits but by and large the majority of the issues in my life right now have nothing to do with me being trans.
Anyway, the fear of being transgender kept me from being myself for over twenty years. The fear of failing to pass kept me from even trying for twenty years. Not much I can do about that. I'm living for now and living for the future, each day is a just another excellent reason to be alive and live my life to the fullest. Over the next year I'm hoping to finish my electro (huzzah!) and start the process of getting approval for GRS with the possibility of being replumbed by early 2016.
