*** main point ****  I'm honest I am not suicidal I was never bullied or unpopular never had a problem with women or men..just love being fem !!

Sorry, I don't really know you from previous I but will offer a random stranger's view. The only reason I can think of that anyone might want to transition is because they need to transition. If you don't need to transition then don't. It's one thingamewhatnot of a journey and you don't want to walk it unless you have to.

Of course if you DO have to it is the most liberating experience you will ever have but if you don't need to then don't.

Rosie

Thanks :-) sorry about the long post don't know why its incomplete but besides that I really don't have to but want too like seriously ? And what exactly constitutes if I have too ?

Oh it isn't up for me to describe what "have to" means to you. That's entirely up to you.

Rosie

Very well put thank you Rosie these past 4 years have been a very confusing time for me much appreciated.

            , Angela

Quote from: Angela84 on March 24, 2015, 06:27:02 PM
  *** main point ****  I'm honest I am not suicidal I was never bullied or unpopular never had a problem with women or men..just love being fem !!

I was never suicidal, never felt like a woman, never felt like I "had" to transition. I just always wished I could have been a woman.

I've been happily living fulltime as a woman for the past 21 months, so clearly, you can have a successful transition even if you don't feel like you have to.

If you don't "need" to transition, you shouldn't. If you don't "want" to transition because you're afraid, that's natural. As an outsider, the united states appears to be a hostile place for people with transsexualism. If you're not suffering from transsexualism, and you can carry on with your life, I suggest you do that.

I think only you can determine if you need to transition. There is a lot of bigotry being trans so there are ways to express femininity without transitioning.

Also, beware that sometimes things aren't as they seem.

If this is something one does for fun, and it's not necessarily fundamental to their identity, going through actual transition could be a big risk - inasmuch as HRT makes some irreversible changes.

There are a lot of hard questions to ask. One should really be certain that this is who they are, and that they can take the good with the bad. One needs to be driven, tough, and have some support.

This is why the approval process is so strict - and I am glad it is that way.

I for one consider myself blessed that I am not a member of the "Transition or Die" club. Had the forms in front of me many times, never got around to signing them.

I have many reasons not to transition. Not so many as to why I should. None of the reasons why I should have anything at all at how I present... or not present. THE one and only reason that I constantly evaluate is being able to feel 100% Genuine. However transitioning will very likely lead to me loosing several very important things in my life that make me, me. In other words, transitioning may lead to feeling 100% genuine, at the cost of losing 60% of the genuine me. A guaranteed 90% plus as I am vs a possible 60%, I'll settle for 90%.

Of course tomorrow may come when I have to sign up into the club. If I HAVE to, I will

if your still happy as a guy or just like dressing up I wouldn't...its a lot to go through and I still don't like myself, my body, or my life...its better but ya think it through long and hard

For some of us transitioning is a way to recover your life. If you have ever done a purge and the felt terrible afterwards, then you have had a taste of disphoria.  When the disphoria becomes a constant in life and you avoid looking at your self in the mirror because the picture is all wrong. When your psychologist suggests that maybe you're a transsexual and maybe you should see if estrogen helps, that could be the point to test the waters of transition.  And, after 90 or so days when your skin softens and your nipples light up and boobs start to sprout you might just feel better about transition.  Or not, I stopped the hormones for a couple of months. I was really scared of losing that male part and somehow thought that I could recapture my old self.  When one day my wife found me sitting on the floor, in tears, in the corner of our bedroom she sat down next to me and said "why don't you put on an estrogen patch, will have a glass of wine and play dress-up.  She is a one of a kind great bitch to be married to.  Two years later our lives have changed, I could never recapture being  male but I love my new female self. The dysphoria is gone and my life is back on track, a different track to be sure but a good track for me. I;m incredibly lucky to have had so much support from wife, kids and all my family and friends. I recovered my happy life and the boobs are really fun too.           

Debbie thank you for sharing your story.
I just talked with my wife about my feelings of transitioning and taking estrogen and she is also supportive. It will be a careful and slow path. I hope it goes as well as yours.

For the record, I've never contemplated suicide. But I was very unhappy as female/totally dissociative towards my female gendered characteristics, and since starting to transition I've felt like people are able to see the "me" that I've always really been inside. I feel genuinely good about myself.

I would seriously encourage you to speak to a professional about it. Ultimately you're the only one who is going to know if transitioning will be meaningful for you, but from reading all of your threads it seems like you have a lot of stuff to work through to really get to the core of the issue.

I was absolutely driven. Nothing could stop me. Yes, I tried suicide and failed when unsurmountable obstacles blocked my progress. The second time, after taking four packs of sleeping pills and crawling around my apartment for two days, vomitting in my closet, and suddenly clearing my head at 7:30, I quickly showered and went to work. I got to work and the gates were closed. The sun was setting. It was 8PM on a Sunday! For some reason, I felt euphoric. I knew that from then on, I'd never look back, that I'd never try something stupid like that again.

It's not so hard these days because there is all kinds of support, like here, and lots of good doctors to help. You can try and see before you do anything irreversible. I did that. I liked it. I wanted it even more and more and more.

So, that's where I came from. It was a tough time. I don't regret it. I never have.

Cindi

What do you have to lose?
What do you have to gain?
Excel can help you plot a cost-benefit analysis if you're as much of a spreadsheet nerd as I am.

The transition or die mantra that's bandied about comes from internalized transphobia that causes many of us to hide who we are either because of rejection/ostracization or in fear of it. I waited a long time to transition because I was worried about what other people would think. Don't base your possible transition on anyone's opinion but your own. Just allow yourself to be who you want to be, and if that means transitioning, good luck and all the power to you.

The polar dichotomy of trans and cis is just as false as male vs. female, it's actually a spectrum. That's why the LGBT keeps getting updated for inclusiveness, last I saw it was LGBTQQIAS. And that doesn't take into account all the ways we can self-identify.

While I know the search for answers is rarely satisfying when you get mixed results, the magic 8 ball of this thread seems to universally read: Inconclusive.

Yes I have weighed the pros and con's there relatively equal. So yaaaa..this is ultimately my journey thanks for your reply very helpful guess its batter up I have jump this hurdle at sum point here we go☺

I'm definitely gonna continue to get my feet wet Cindy,ease into it should I say. I have seen all the beautiful transformations all of you ladies have obtained and salute each and everyone of you. Now that I have seen the "glitz and glamour" and the fun I' have mainly put emphasis these past 6 months on the negative side of transition. And I mean the ugly side,botched surgeries,suicide,de- transitioning  ,self medicating many books,articles have been read YouTube this site etc. To no avail ..as in I see my happiness as a women even toning down my whole masculine look has "de-stressed me and brought more of an inner peace. Seems as in now days people seem to pay less attention as I'm not  not held to such a high tier of masculinity that I personally did not want to adhere too anyway . But did it for the "wife" ( now ex) "kids" family, job etc really just conforming to the cookie cutter image of what society has for men. All in all..I'm starting a transgender support group next wednesday and followed by a therapy session with Lgbt licensed trans therapist the next day. This is something that does need to be personally addressed I feel as if the time is gonna be to find my sexuality and deal with whether or not im am going to transition or not is now.

I think you are on the right track to answer your question, good luck, hugs.