warning long post!! ive wondered this a lot lately, and I hope me asking this doesn't sound at all like homophobic or ignorant or something as that's not the intent at all.. It just seems that going by statistics and experience of what I've seen most trans women are either partly or exclusively attracted to women.. I have always only liked guys and still do and since transitioning consider myself straight but before I tried identifying as gay for a year or two but it never felt right and the more gay guys I met or the more I found out about how much most gay guys don't want to be considered the "girl" in a relationship and even more so how most are very turned off by feminine looking or acting males the more I realized it wasn't me... I needed it to be about gender too and when I came out it was also cause I wanted to wear makeup and dress femininely but just doing that was never enough either...I guess im just wondering cause trans women have been found repeatedly to have female brain structure...they often have intersex conditions as well but yet the majority of cis women are only or mostly into men wheras the majority of trans women are mostly or exclusively into women..once again im not trying to say lesbian trans women are less women anymore than lesbian cis women and I don't think that either...I just find it hard for me to always relate or fit into the trans community cause many girls have married women and had kids and yet I cant fit in with the gay community cause well there men with nothing else in common besides liking men and retaining "male" parts... as far as straight women...they haven't had the same life really so its still hard there too to feel a lot in common...basically I feel like as a heterosexual trans woman your too straight to really fit in in the lgbt community but yet too "gay" (in lack of a better term) to fit into the straight community while being open about yourself..what are your thoughts?

well, for me personally I consider myself Bi. I just like to find someone to be with . I've always been attracted to both men and woman. I'm older so I've had had my share of being intimate .I just want to enjoy the company of another, but my most important focus is my presentation as my true gender regardless of whether I ever find a companion either mail or female. I really have no interest having the value of my existence being determined by whether or not I'm with someone although life can be quite comforting sharing with someone else.

My thoughts - I guess gender and sexuality are different things again. I didn't understand that in my old life, but it makes sense now.

I've been really surprised to find out how many guys are actually open to trans-girls. It's far more than I thought.

I thought it would be forever before I got close to a guy. But they seem to have other plans! :~o

What are you basing your assumption on? I've read that being attracted to women is far more common in people that transition later in life than it is in transsexuals in their teens/twenties

I think there is a component of age, when I person transitions.  If you are at or around puberty, then what your sexuality is, is not completely set.  From what I see, people who transition roughly around that time, seem to follow cis-gender sexuality percentages.  When you are a bit older, while sexual preference may change, it is a bit more set. 

Well, the OP wasn't that long.  I'll try to keep the reply from being too long.

First of all, let's get our numbers right.  The largest survey of trans* people ever done is the National Transgender Discrimination Survey.  Fortunately, it contains demographics, including a breakdown of sexual orientation of mtg persons.  Survey sez:

Bisexual:  31%
Gay/lesbian/same gender:  29%
Heterosexual:  23%
Queer:  7%
Asexual:  7%
Other:  2%

So the data do not seem to suggest that the majority of transwomen are, in fact, attracted exclusively or predominantly to women.  If we were to assume that all the bi people lean toward women, we would get 60%, a majority, leaning in that direction.  But there is no basis for making that assumption.

Admittedly, asking this question is complicated by the fact that the answer depends greatly on what gender is viewed as "same" or "opposite."  Depending on many variables, including state of transition, among others, these questions can get confusing even for trans* people and may influence the data.  However, there is nothing here to suggest exclusive or primary attraction to women. 

But what is clear is that "other than straight" is drastically over represented compare to the general population.  The Williams Institute estimates that about 3.4% (don't hold me to that because I'm going solely on memory, but I think it's roughly correct) of the general population is LGB.  (The oft quoted figure of 10% actually originates from an article in the 1970s or 1980s in which the author speculated that as many as 10% of people might be gay.  It has no factual basis).  So clearly the transwoman population is vastly more likely than the general public to identify as LGB.  So why?

Perhaps part of the answer lies in the fact that most men are straight.  Whatever makes people trans* may often not affect a person's sexual orientation.  So basically it operates such that instead of a cisgender male, the person is a transwoman.  But they still have the mental/neurological equipment for sexual orientation to be a straight man I f they were not trans*.  And since they are trans*, but they still have the same sexual orientation as a straight man, they are attracted to women.  I hope that made sense. 

But let's build on this a bit more.  Not everyone experiences sexuality as being about one gender or the other.  For example, for some people, the experience is more about "sameness" or "differentness."  For those people, if they live as male and are attracted to women, they may find the attraction switches as they go through transition.  Why?  Because women are attractive to such a person because they are different rather than because of being women.  The more this person goes through transition, the more women become "the same" and lose their attractiveness.  To the extent that sexual orientation has any meaning for me, I'm like this by the way.  "Different" is what attracts me, so my gender preference switched in transition.  A person whose attraction is to "the same" would experience a shift in their attraction for the same reason. 

Those are some thoughts off the top of my head.  I think what it comes down to is "it's complicated."

Personally I have been with Women and Men, and I have no strong feelings towards either. I'm more into someone for who they are rather then what they have in the pants and from a sex standpoint, I don't really care about that too much or worry about it.

*Transparency* I am currently long term with another woman.

Well, I'm 36 so maybe my experience might shed some light a bit.  I've always known that I was a girl inside as long as I could remember.  Funny thing is, I was always attracted to females even at a young age.  I guess I was confused but since the whole transgendered thing was totally foreign to me (especially as I was growing up), I've just accepted that I was a man and had to do man things.  I think because we're born male with a large part of our brains being female, that takes a toll on the psyche.  Also, as mentioned before, sexuality and gender identity are disparate and unrelated. 

I've always believed that sexuality was a spectrum with many people falling somewhere closer to one side or the other:

Homosexuality ______________|______________Heterosexuality

Also, I think because it is so ingrained into men that if they have any inkling of homosexual thoughts or anything, they must be gay and therefore, they become ridiculed by friends or whatever.  So men tend to pretend that they are 100% straight, even though they might not totally feel that way or fit into that spectrum. 

lol, sorry, back on topic.

Honestly, I think because I was always attracted to women, even during transition, I doubt my sexuality will shift although I might be more open to it as I'm already bucking the trend, you know, being trans and all.  Also, even though I'm transitioning later in life, I wouldn't trade it for the world, know why?  Because if I transitioned in my teens, I wouldn't have my daughter in my life.   

I think this is sort of an interesting subject from my perspective... I always identified as straight before transitioning, and I never really felt any strong attraction to men (except that one time I saw a friend in grade school naked and stared at him a little too long...). But most of the time I didn't actually feel that strong of an attraction to women either. I would look at pictures of naked girls sometimes, and I would usually enjoy it, but I didn't really like there to be any actual sex involved. Having a guy in the picture just grossed me out too much. It really was more about the idea of seeing of female body and being able to imagine myself in that body that I found attractive. Seeing a male body, which is the thing I always hated having, was always a huge turnoff. ...but then again, I also liked looking at something called futanari, which is more or less the anime version of a naked hermaphrodite. I actually did like the idea of being with someone who had a penis, just not on an ugly male body. And well, now that my body isn't quite as much of an ugly male body as it used to be, I am a lot more open to being with a guy. But I honestly don't want any sort of a sexual relationship with the parts I have now, so I may never end up having that experience. Anyway, I think that's the way it is for a lot of MTF people. It's hard to find qualities that repulse you about yourself attractive in another person. Transitioning at a young age probably helps with that, because you never get the full experience of having an adult male body.

I'm straight too and it was something baffling my mind in the beginning when I use to see trans women married with other women and have kids and with time I got to learn that trans come in different shades and tones.

Quote from: ThePhoenix on March 25, 2015, 11:54:44 PM
Well, the OP wasn't that long.  I'll try to keep the reply from being too long.

First of all, let's get our numbers right.  The largest survey of trans* people ever done is the National Transgender Discrimination Survey.  Fortunately, it contains demographics, including a breakdown of sexual orientation of mtg persons.  Survey sez:

Bisexual:  31%
Gay/lesbian/same gender:  29%
Heterosexual:  23%
Queer:  7%
Asexual:  7%
Other:  2%

So the data do not seem to suggest that the majority of transwomen are, in fact, attracted exclusively or predominantly to women.  If we were to assume that all the bi people lean toward women, we would get 60%, a majority, leaning in that direction.  But there is no basis for making that assumption.

Admittedly, asking this question is complicated by the fact that the answer depends greatly on what gender is viewed as "same" or "opposite."  Depending on many variables, including state of transition, among others, these questions can get confusing even for trans* people and may influence the data.  However, there is nothing here to suggest exclusive or primary attraction to women. 

But what is clear is that "other than straight" is drastically over represented compare to the general population.  The Williams Institute estimates that about 3.4% (don't hold me to that because I'm going solely on memory, but I think it's roughly correct) of the general population is LGB.  (The oft quoted figure of 10% actually originates from an article in the 1970s or 1980s in which the author speculated that as many as 10% of people might be gay.  It has no factual basis).  So clearly the transwoman population is vastly more likely than the general public to identify as LGB.  So why?

Perhaps part of the answer lies in the fact that most men are straight.  Whatever makes people trans* may often not affect a person's sexual orientation.  So basically it operates such that instead of a cisgender male, the person is a transwoman.  But they still have the mental/neurological equipment for sexual orientation to be a straight man I f they were not trans*.  And since they are trans*, but they still have the same sexual orientation as a straight man, they are attracted to women.  I hope that made sense. 

But let's build on this a bit more.  Not everyone experiences sexuality as being about one gender or the other.  For example, for some people, the experience is more about "sameness" or "differentness."  For those people, if they live as male and are attracted to women, they may find the attraction switches as they go through transition.  Why?  Because women are attractive to such a person because they are different rather than because of being women.  The more this person goes through transition, the more women become "the same" and lose their attractiveness.  To the extent that sexual orientation has any meaning for me, I'm like this by the way.  "Different" is what attracts me, so my gender preference switched in transition.  A person whose attraction is to "the same" would experience a shift in their attraction for the same reason. 

Those are some thoughts off the top of my head.  I think what it comes down to is "it's complicated."

I find your response really interesting...it does really make sense for a lot of the trans community but not for me specifically or other straight trans women.. and its interesting what you say about being attracted to sameness or differentness because I guess I've always looked at men as very different from me even before I transitioned...so ya its gotta be really complicated and the more I think about it the more it doesn't make sense

I've always been bi and when I was young I could never understand why most people seemed to be so rigidly orientated in their sexual identity.  These days I'm solely woman attracted mostly because I've had so many negative experiences with men, up to and including rape and I'm simply not interested in considering them as trustworthy sexual beings in any shape or form.
All this is moot of course because I've made solemn promises of Chasity and I'm not focused on wanting a life companion anymore, but I freely admit I am only human and flesh and blood and sometimes my eyes stray and my thoughts go where I don't want them to.

also I guess for some people gender and sexuality aren't connected really or else there wouldn't be pansexuals, femme lesbians or butch gay guys or lesbian trans women...but for me they have always been pretty intertwined...like for example imagining I some how became attracted to women I don't think being with one would make me feel at all feminine and therefore I would feel uncomfortable and unsatisfied as to me part of having a satisfactory sexual relationship is being seen as desirable for who and what you are, and that's why it never would of worked out with me and a gay guy...they wouldn't make me feel desirable as a girl and they wouldn't of seen me that way... basically my mind has always been like Im feminine so I feel attracted to masculine people... idk but it is pretty connected in my mind personally

I find it beyond comprehension how anyone, male or female, can find a male attractive in any way. Even as a young child I thought the same because I remember wondering when I was around five or so if, when women looked at men they actually saw women. (I'm being serious here by the way).

I rememeber seven years ago having a therapy session and discussing my sexuality.
The question was simple: who are you attracted to, both physically and sexually?
Up to this point in my transition, I'd never been with a guy.

I recall saying:
"Well, I'm not attracted to women sexually. My ex wife and I slept in separate bedrooms for last six years of our marriage. Shoot, we didn't even have sex on our honeymoon. We didn't have any kids per se, but we did adopt."

"I'm not attracted to other trans for some reason. Maybe because I'm dealing with enough poop, plus it'd be just dating another woman."

"So I guess that leaves men. I'm intrigued by guys, they find me attractive, I like how they treat me, and I feel they really appreciate what lengths I go to. So maybe that makes me gay, I don't know."

My therapist said "Nina, you're not gay. You're a woman, you like men. You're hetero."
So I've dated men exclusively, am engaged to a wonderful guy - he's a cop. He's known me pre and post op.

I reflect back on twenty years married to a woman, dating women....it was a facade....to cover up who I was. Until I came out, I finally got to express who I was really attracted to, yet I never once thought I'd be with a guy. It just happened.

Oh my, I stopped by Uni today to say hello to the LGBT gang.

I was last there a year ago, just before I began transition.

Both then and today, a very pretty Scottish lesbian girl was around.

She didn't look twice at the old me.

But today she was unravelling her hair, smiling and blinking at me ...

Goodness. I haven't fancied girls for a while ... but I think I might be interested! ... :~o

What EvolvingBeauty said.   Until I started perusing the posts I was unaware..   It's life.

I feel some of that attraction would also be the idea of wanting to be the woman not to women if that makes sense. Just going about what I have read and guessing. I am pre everything atm but I think I am getting a handle on what my sexuality really is even though been a virgin for 40 odd years lol. 

How I feel now is that as I accept that I am indeed trans is that I am not attracted to men but their part, would like to have sex as a woman with a man but emotionally more attracted to females. What does that make me at the moment well a mess really but I don't know how to put it other then I don't feel gay yet attracted to the part. Basically trying to be open and see what happens after all when in transition what really is gay (opposite attractions) it kinda gets fuzzy. I can only guess that I am really a woman that is straight yet in a male body now. In the future things could change as far as sexuality or they don't. Just a best guess for me is I might get attracted to males sexually and females for emotional companionship more. Yes I admire the beauty of the female body but don't want to have sex with said body and I guess there in lies the truth its complicated.

Seems roughly evenly mixed in my personal experience. And I've certainly gotten plenty of flack amongst the trans community for being an MTF lesbian, so I doubt we're any sort of significant majority, since I'm clearly seen as abnormal by many.

As for why there may be more diversity in sexual orientation among trans people... Well, I suppose it could be due to a lot of factors. Maybe trans people are more likely to be open to exploring/admitting their sexualities than a cis person would be. Maybe our condition is one that comes with a higher likelihood of also being LG or B than the cis population. Maybe because of our unique experience with gender, more of us see gender and sexual or romantic attraction differently. For example, I see male and female in terms of brain rather than body, and am attracted to people with female brains regardless of what sex the rest of their body indicates. I think, when it comes down to it, the answer may be that sexuality is a lot more complicated and nuanced than most people make it out to be, and as people who have had to deal with the complexity of gender first hand, we tend to be more open to those complexities.

Just my opinion.

Im mostly "straight" but being trans and so far at least getting treated worse than most cis women do its easy to be somewhat turned off by men... Id love to find one that actually loved and respected me as a woman and person didn't just treat me like crap and think Im just there to be used, just a curiosity on the down low solely for their pleasure and then rejected... The idea of being a post op lesbian or in a poly 3 way arrangement with a cis couple has a lot of appeal... Women just seem to be kinder and gentler, less focused solely on their needs and much more sensual than the average man