I am back for now.. Dont want to use my old account anymore so kinda just leaving it there. I left because I just felt attacked over everything I said. I was trying to help someone and everyone was attacking me. But that seems to be normal for me. Trying again. I will leave for good if it happens again but we will see
11 months on T now, still waiting for top surgery. Had consult in December, told I need to lose weight and go back in 4 months. Due back now but not even heard from them yet. I need more time to lose more weight though or I will just be postponed again. That cant happen again. I need this done like 10 years ago.. I wear 2 binders all day every day. Though they dont hurt at all Im just tired of having to wear 3 layers minimum and be constantly self conscious of my chest. Im in the UK so dealing with the tortoise paced NHS. Sloooowly getting there. T has been good though. Just waiting on something resembling a beard coming in. I have one under my chin and only there, nothing anywhere else bar upper lip. I find it hard not to compare myself to other guys in this respect. Some less time on T than me already have full chin straps, some just a month or so ahead of me have loads more.. Genetic I know, I just struggle not to compare myself with them. Doing ok though I guess can always be worse
Nearly 2 years now since I 'came out' and I've changed a lot in this time regarding knowledge and understanding of being trans. Known since a very young age I was male but I didnt know terms or that I even wasnt the only one on the planet that felt this way and I genuinely believed I was. I didnt tell anyone for that reason, thought they would think I was insane or something. I know a lot more now and Im actually glad to be trans. Im never going to be ashamed of who/what I am anymore. Everything I thought before I know is false. I am a real man and given what I know now no I dont want to be cis. Given the choice I would say no. Nothing compares to what I have learned as a result of what I've been through and I choose that
I might stick around I dont know. I tend not to post much anymore these days anyway, mainly I guess cause Im wary of being attacked for everything and scared of looking back at topics I posted in as I dont want to see the response to it.. idk. In any case I have learned a lot since I was here last (like 15 months since I left) and I never mean to offend anyone or say something wrong. Can gently correct me without outright attacking me over something. I admit when Im wrong and I learn from it. If Im attacked though I wont bother and it wont help anyone. Looks like people can forget this is a support forum and many of us are vulnerable here
Also 'Garry' is like a nickname I guess, its a shortened version of my surname not my first name (which I used last time). Almost considered changing my name to this but nah can nickname my surname and still use it anyway. Never gave myself a middle name though. I need to come up with one so I can have another name I like lol. I love cosplay, bikes, and making props. I have a cis gf via ldr who has been 100% supportive of everything. I have no friends to speak of though, even one would be nice. I have bad depression and anxiety issues which makes it like impossible for me to get one
